Come With Me Now
by ohmyglobwhat
Summary: The romance of Garrus V. and Commander Shepard. Goes through the story of mass effect two with only slight tweaks to the story line itself, but a lot of snarky comebacks added. All characters property of bioware, disclaimer disclaimer, I don't own anything except the obsurd amount of hours this took to make.
1. Chapter 1

Garrus leaned heavily against the wall of his fortress, his body sore and aching with exhaustion. His soul ached with his body after moving the corpses of his fallen comrades. He'd been so stupid. His entire squad was dead, all because of him. He trusted Sidonis, they all did…but Garrus was the one who truly killed them. If he had been there it would have been different. He could have saved them…

_No you couldn't, don't be so arrogant…_ Shepard's voice echoed in his head. He let out a sigh as he remembered his scolding after gunning down Saleon. He was certain he could have saved those people if he had reached his lab sooner, kept him from fleeing. _You can never control how people will act, but you can control how you respond. That's what really matters._

But she was gone now. She couldn't help him out of this mess he'd created, pull him back from the deep waters he'd sunk to. He was back on Palaven, undergoing a rigorous test in his Spectre training when Joker sent him the message:

_Garrus, _

_Letting everyone know… The Comman-…. Arri's gone. She went down with the ship cause she stopped to save my ass. Typical. It's all my fault, hate me if you want. We are having a memorial here on the Citadel…closed… we couldn't find her…But, I know she would have wanted you there. See ya_

_ Joker _

He couldn't believe it, the great Commander Shepard, dead. She'd pulled his head out of his ass, got him to believe in himself then just up and disappeared. He'd been so angry. He almost didn't go to the memorial, still almost wished he hadn't. Liara was so heartbroken; her first close friend in who knows how long forced her to abandon her on a burning ship. Who was he kidding? They were all heartbroken, she dove in and became the core of their existence for an entire year, they all trusted her, depended on her, then she left them all to fall.

He loaded his rifle, he knew the Blood Pack couldn't be too far behind and he needed to keep his mind focused. As soon as Garm was done tending his wounds, they'd be after him. They knew his hideout now. He had it all locked down, and with the mangled bodies of his friends still fresh in his mind, sleep wasn't on the agenda any time soon.

She woke gasping for air, the world around her spinning, everything hurt. Explosions were going off as the world shook beneath her feat as she tried to get her bearings, following the voice on the intercoms command.

_I've heard this voice before…_ She thought groggily, snapping on her armor, almost remembering a face before she lost it, ducking behind cover to get away from a mech. She took it out quickly but stayed behind cover, her head still spinning. What the hell had happened? Last thing she saw was the Normandy going down in flames and for all she knew her crew was still on it. Had everyone made it? Did Liara follow her last command and get to the pods? And Joker, did any of his bones survive impact?

Another mech charged and she went into kill mode. Quick, clean, and precise she made her way past a few other mechs, occasionally stumbling by some credits or a creepy holo-journal about a 'subject'. She was getting pretty freaked out before coming to a clearing where she found her first human. She was starting to think the machines had taken over.

The man obviously knew her, but seemed very surprised to see her. Using her accuracy and his biotics, they took care of the mechs quickly. He opened the floor for questions, easing her worries as she found out most of her crew had survived. Her heart ached for Pressley, grizzly old man that he was, he really was kind. She looked at the emblem on Jacob's chest. _Where have I seen that before…_

"Hello!? Hello is anyone on this frequency!?" A panicked voice piped on Jacob's omni-tool.

"Wilson, it's Jacob, I'm here with Shepard, what's your status?"

"Shepard!? How the hell… nevermind, I need help, the mechs have me surrounded!"

Jacob closed transmission and motioned for her to follow him down the path Wilson had instructed. Wilson seemed a bit too surprised to hear that Shepard was alive, the small hairs on the back of her neck stood, she'd have to be on her guard. She rubbed her jaw gently, feeling the bones crunch. She shook her head, _won't be doing that again…_

They pushed past the remaining mechs before making it to Wilson. She was half tempted to interrogate him then and there, but Jacob seemed like a nice guy and he seemed to trust Wilson, so she applied the med-gel. Jacob opted that this would be the best time to inform her he worked for Cerberus, and that this was an entire Cerberus station dedicated to bringing her back, no matter what the cost.

She couldn't help but laugh. "If this is how Cerberus treats it's enemies, I'd love to see how it treats it's friends." She crossed her arms against her chest, "I appreciate you telling me Jacob, but I still don't trust either of you. Takes more than that."

They finished off the mechs and made it to the docking bay. The door flew open and there stood a woman, her pleasant face turned to an ugly sneer as she pulled a gun on Wilson and shot him in the throat, leaving him to drown in his own blood. Arri and Jacob jumped back, but only Arri reacted.

"Was that your idea of due process?" She trained her gun on Miranda, who had lowered hers.

"Wilson was a traitor and got what he deserved, now if you don't mind we should get off this station." The patience in Miranda's voice was strained.

"No, we have to go back and look for survivors." She turned to head back down the hall when Jacob grabbed her arm to stop her.

"If they were going to survive they would have been here already. We all knew the risks coming in, this project has only one priority and only one who needs to survive." Miranda turned to leave.

"And who is so damn special they are worth the lives of an entire station?" She snapped.

Miranda turned and gave her a sickly smile, "You."

"Two years?" Arri's breath escaped her and she looked out the window of the shuttle. "I've been gone that long?" How bad were her injuries?

She answered their questions, though entirely personal. Her head was swimming. Yes I'm a colony kid, yes I lost my parents, yes my unit died on Akuze… _I couldn't save them…_, Virmire…

Ash….I couldn't save you either…

"We'll just have to hope that our little field test was good enough."

Her meeting with the 'Illusive Man' was agitating to say the least. Yes she was happy to be back but for what? Her crew had moved on without her, seeing her again would just open old wounds. Besides, he was trying to tell her who to trust, who to have waving high powered guns around behind her. It made her skin crawl. _A pilot I can trust… yeah right._

"Just like old times, 'eh Commander?"

Arri whirled around to see Joker standing before her. She couldn't help it. She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him. "I thought you were dead…"

"Heh same to you, though if you keep squeezing me like that my dying is still a possibility." She let him go. "C'mon, there's something you gotta see."

The lights reflected off the hull of the immense ship, the glint on her hull promising adventure, danger and freedom. _Home._ She thought as she smiled softly down at her.

"They only told me last night." She could hear the excitement in Joker's voice. She braced a hand on his shoulder as they stared down at her.

"Well… I guess we'll have to give her a name."

The new Normandy set off into the Galaxy, their first stop, Freedoms Progress.

Arri took the chance to get to know the new Normandy. She was much like the old, though she was distraught to see the stairs had been replaced by an even slower elevator. She sighed, exasperated as she headed up to what EDI, the cool little AI, told her was called the 'Captains Loft'. The door slid open and revealed a luxurious room, it made her very uncomfortable. She outfitted her armor to the dull grey and greens she used, buffing off the Cerberus logo and replacing it with N7. She may not be accepted by the Alliance, but she sure as hell wasn't accepting Cerberus.

She found herself staring into her fish tank, her depressingly empty fish tank. Her mind wandered. _The Turian disappeared…_ Where did he go? He said he was back at Spectre training, surely Cerberus could find him there. Did something happen? She shook her head and felt her cheek, a large scar was easily felt. She stood and made her way to the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. Her hair was the same wavy auburn, let out of it's bun it settled to her waist. She could see the cybernetic implants behind her eyes if she looked close enough, the red light contrasting with her aquamarine eyes. She stretched and something popped, she shook it out. She'd have to be a bit more careful with this body.

She froze as she looked at the underside of her chin, there used to be a scar there, from Mindoir when a slaver held a blade to her throat. She ripped open the clasp of the long sleeved shirt, exposing her bra. _They're gone. _She pulled the top the rest of the way off and turned to see her back… and only perfect clear skin greeted her. No sign of her tattoo, no scars, nothing. Her heart pounded in her chest. All of her memories, all of her reminders; she touched the area where her tattoo had been, her light and dark. She stripped naked and eyed herself all over, every last scar, every imperfection that spoke of her past had vanished and smooth, creamy skin had taken it's place. She slammed her fist into the wall.

Son of a bitch…

"Commander, ETA to Freedoms Progress two minutes"

Her hand stung, a bone had cracked with the impact, it's initial fracture still not fully healed. She blocked out the pain and loaded up onto the drop ship, Miranda and Jacob in tow.

Freedoms progress was eerie to say the least. They made it through and she was ecstatic to see Tali, and the feeling seemed mutual. They teamed up and took out the mechs, making it to Veetor first. The Quarian was obviously terrified, and Shepard almost punched Miranda for demanding to take him for interrogation. He was obviously injured and no Cerberus operative was going to give a damn if one neurotic Quarian died. She snapped at Miranda that Veetor was going with Tali, and if she didn't like it she could stay behind. They took the data and left he forsaken colony.

After a brief chat with the Illusive Man, she headed back up to the CIC, selecting Omega, where two of her dossiers resided. She may as well kill two birds with one stone. She wasn't too thrilled about going, she'd heard some real horror stories about the 'ruler'.

She met up with the mercenary Zaeed in the hallway, at least this one was easy to find. He was abusing a Batarian, she almost didn't want to stop him. After a quick chat she made her promise to help him, taking out a major gang leader would work for her too. He joined up and drug the now unconscious and bleeding Batarian to his ship.

Her initial meeting with Aria was less than pleasant. Having the two goodie-goodies in tow didn't really help either. She could see how Miranda visibly tensed as the situation escalated. She wasn't made for a real situation, just simulations where she knew she would get out ahead. Shepard was impressed by Jacob, typical true Alliance marine, he stayed calm and collected under pressure. Aria directed her two goons to take the guns away from her throat and began her dramatic introduction.

"Yes I can see you are very powerful here and quite content in your little fantasy of queen." Shepard crossed her arms, "But I have no intention to pay any homage to you, _your grace._ I need information, and then I'll let you get back to your subjects."

Aria looked light she might kill her for a moment, but then chuckled and grinned. "I like you, Shepard." She motioned for her to take a seat beside her, and she did, "What information?"

"I need to find Mordin Solus. Any ideas?"

"I always liked Mordin, just as likely to heal you as he is to kill you. He's down in the slums…"

Aria informed her all about the plague, the internal gang wars, and her own people posted outside to protect the slums from looters, and to protect the looters from the slums. Shepard was genuinely impressed, Aria seemed to truly care about her people.

"Anything else you wanted to ask me?" Aria smirked.

"One other thing, I'm looking for Archangel." Shepard had read over his dossier. This vigilante had not only dropped the crime rate in this star cluster, but had decreased the average death toll on Omega, which was usually through the roof. Looking at his Dossier, he'd also viciously, and slowly killed a Batarian who lead the attack on Mindoir. She needed to thank him.

"You and half of Omega, you want him dead too?"

"Why is everyone after him?" She leaned back in her chair.

"He thinks he's fighting on the side of good, there is no 'good' side on Omega. Everything he does pisses someone off and it's catching up to him. But he seems to know well enough to stay away from me."

"Just the kind of man I'm looking for." She grinned. She waved a surprisingly fond farewell to Aria, ignoring her comment of finding a man to keep her warm. She sent Miranda back to the ship and took Zaeed, if Miranda was uncomfortable with a few relaxed thugs, how would she look moving through hordes of them? She jammed some kids gun, so she wouldn't have to kill him later; then followed direction and boarded the transport ship.


	2. Chapter 2

Garrus was getting tired. He'd forgotten how long he'd been awake, everything was starting to blur together. The only upside to being in his old fortress, surrounded by the memories, was the surplus of ammo they kept. He was going through it quick, but at one shot each, not as fast as Shepard would have.

The more the exhaustion set it the more he thought of her. How had she survived on Akuze? Her entire unit dead around her, yet she managed to survive for weeks before assistance arrived. How did she not break? How can he not? He heard movement and popped back over the side, taking out two hostiles before ducking back undercover. They'd reinforced the area, were settling in and taking turns trying to kill him. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out. He heard shouting, a scream, and lots of commotion before a large wave came over the barricade. He saw a flash of green and grey. He really must be slipping, first he was thinking about her, even hearing her, now he could have sworn he was seeing her. He looked through the scope… _It cant be..._

"She's with Archangel!" Someone shouted before being gunned down. He could hear gunfire below, but there were more sprinting across the bridge. He'd just have to deal with them once they were done hacking the door, his focus on the ones on the blessed bridge. He heard the door fly open, _Damn it, _he thought turning to look. He saw three blurred figures standing in the door when an all too familiar voice addressed him.

"Archangel?" Her gun remained drawn, but lowered, cautious. His heart slammed, she was wearing a helmet but he was sure it was her, but how was she here? How could she be? She died two years ago…right? He shot the last man hiding behind a pole and painfully stood, using his rifle like a crutch, he was so very tired. He pulled his helmet off and sat slowly, looking her over, trying to believe it was real.

"Shepard…." He said her name on a sigh, "I thought you were dead."

"Garrus!" She said excitedly, she sheathed her weapons immediately and signaled her cohorts to do the same. She beamed at him, "What are you doing here?"

"Target practice, gotta stay sharp."

"You ok?" She could hear the exhaustion in his voice, mixed with something she couldn't place.

"Killing mercs is hard, especially on my own. It sure is good to see a friendly face." So very good.

"How'd you manage to piss off every major merc organization in the terminus?" Her voice was light and laughing, she was grinning at him, "I'm impressed."

"I worked _really _hard." He couldn't help but smirk slightly, how did she do it? "I am amazed they teamed up to take me down, they must really hate me."

"I have to ask… when did you start calling yourself Archangel?" There was something dark in his eyes, a shadow of some grief, she had to keep his spirits up, at least until he was safe on the Normandy.

"A name the locals gave me… for all my good deeds." He didn't mind it, but hearing her say it felt odd. He cleared his throat, almost embarrassed, "I don't mind it but please, it's just Garrus to you."

"Aw, I like it. So, Archangel, what next?" Her heart surprised her by skipping a beat at the sound; that throaty, breathless chuckle.

They went with Garrus' suggestion, it was the most logical course but she didn't like it. He was exhausted, they needed to get out of their fast before something happened.

"How'd you let yourself get into this position, it's not like you to let yourself get cornered."

"My feelings got in the way of my better judgment. I'll make you a deal, get me out of here alive and I'll tell you the whole story." She nodded in agreement and they took their positions. It was like she'd never left, they fell back into their old system, her rushing in, taking out the enemies close and Garrus picking them off while their attention was focused on her. The first time he'd seen it, he thought she was stupid and reckless, but it was extremely effective with two snipers over her.

"Shepard get back here, they're deploying the heavy mech!" He urged, she was out in the open, just feet away from it.

"That should take care of itself." She sounded so calm as she casually backed off into the sanctuary, staying at ground level, picking off any that managed to get past the mech. "Z, headshot the mech."

"What? Are you crazy?" Garrus pressed but Zaeed took his shot, blowing he head off the damaged mech. The mushroom cloud erupted from the mech, sending shrapnel rocketing out from all angles, a large chunk embedding itself in Jaroth's skull. Garrus heard her cheer and laugh as the ash settled down.

"Hell yeah! I'll never get tired of that!" She cheered, running forward to snatch dropped ammo as the ground forces backed off, tending their wounded, pulling away their dead. She made her way back up the stairs, a bright grin still on her face. He shook his head, crude yet effective.

"You're kicking ass Shepard." He saw the chaotic look on her face, she was bold and destructive, yet she'd managed to take out someone he had been hunting for months.

"You expected any less?" She put her hands on her hips and held her chin out defiantly, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. "C'mon Garrus, you should know better."

"I wasn't expecting to get Jaroth in the process. I've been hunting that slippery bastard for months." Her eyebrows spoke her question, "He's been shipping tainted eezo all over citadel space, half the goods I seized back on the Citadel came from his base here on Omega."

"We have Blood Pack and Blue Suns left, think we can make a break for it?" She could see him wearing down, he'd perked up a bit when they arrived but the initial excitement and shock from her being alive was starting to wear off. They needed to get moving. The ground shook with a rumbling explosion, they all looked at each other, she turned to Garrus. "The hell was that?"

"Damn it, they breached the lower level. I guess they had to use their brains eventually." He said, checking his omni-tool. "You better get down their Shepard; I'll keep the bridge clear."

"Keep one of my team with you." She nodded to Jacob; she didn't quite know how to feel about Zaeed, "Watch his back, Jacob." Her tone was commanding but when he looked in her eyes Jacob could see the flash of the threat, _or else. _

"You sure that's a good idea? Who knows what you'll find down there." He was grateful for the assistance; he didn't want to be alone again.

"Positive, be careful Garrus." She said quickly, gave a pointed look to Jacob, and then headed down the back stairs to the basement level. Garrus didn't want her to walk away, afraid he'd wake up and this had all been a dream. But he didn't have much time to think, another wave was coming across.

"Ah!" He heard her cry out in his ear piece, "God damnit!" explosions followed.

"Shepard, are you alright?" His tone urgent.

"Yeah, fucking Varren snuck up on me. Why can't we have one of these? Feed him our enemies."

"I don't think he'd be happy on the Normandy." He gave an exhausted laugh, relieved, the waves subsided.

"Aw but I want one." He heard a beep in the back ground, "Shutters are sealed."

"Get back here Shepard; they're coming in through the doors."

"Roger that." She motioned for Zaeed to follow and they rushed back just in time to intercept the Blood Pack and flank Garm. "Holy shit, his regen time is ridiculous!" she exclaimed when he finally went down.

"He's a freak of nature. I tangled with him once… longest damn fight of my life, almost had him too, till his gang showed up."

"It's fun imagining you going head to head in a fist fight with a Krogan."

"Why is that fun?" Garrus asked incredulously, crossing his arms.

"It proves how stubborn you are." She winked. "All that's left is the Blue Suns, I say we make the last push and get the hell out of here."

"I think your right. Tarak is tough, but nothing we haven't faced before." The glass shattered across the room as the gunship trained it's sights on Garrus, he dove into cover, "Damn it, I thought I took that thing out already!"

"Tarak fixed it, but not fully, I made sure of that." The armor was only at half strength. Troops began pouring in on all sides, she signaled Zaeed to follow her to the rear stairs to keep them from being flanked, leaving Jacob with Garrus to watch the sides.

Shepard grabbed one of the centurions who flanked her and tossed him over the railing, his head hitting the ground with a loud crack. Her hand was really starting to hurt, she wiggled her fingers to keep the blood flowing, shed bandaged it, but that wasn't enough with how hard she was using it. She leaned against the wall as Zaeed took out the last two with his rifle. She caught her breath; Garrus signaled that their side was clear so now might be her last opportunity before last push. She used her medi-gel to dull the pain radiating from her ribs every time she fired her weapon or dove to cover.

Garrus scanned the room, he didn't see any more enemies, he lowered his weapon. The gun ship popped back up, "Archangel!" he heard Tarak shout before opening fire, hitting Garrus several times as he crawled to cover. He was so tired, sluggish, and now had a few bullet holes to make it all worse. He saw Tarak line up a shot with a large rocket on his hiding spot, and dove from cover, but he was too slow, too tired, everything when white.

"Garrus!" Shepard shouted as she ducked into cover, the gunship opening fire as soon as it saw movement. Garrus lay in a pool of blood, she couldn't stop to check on him. Right now his best hope was getting on the Normandy. She gave him a dose of Medi-gel, depleting her supply before opening fire on the gunship, taking a slug in the shoulder before it was destroyed, exploding violently and tossing shrapnel about. She didn't hesitate; she leapt out from cover and blocked Garrus from the raining shards, touching him gently to look him over. He gasped for air and turned to her, clutching his rifle, blood rocketing from his mouth when he coughed, some splattering on her face. "Radio Joker! Tell him to make sure med bay is ready for him!" She couldn't look away from him, one of his hands gripped hers weakly.

"He's not gonna make it." Zaeed said as gently as he could while Jacob radioed the Normandy.

"He has to." She said softly. "You have to, Garrus."

"Commander, step back!" Chakwas pushed her to the side as she treated Garrus' wounds. She stood as far out of the way as she dared. "We need to get him to surgery, STAT."

And just like that, everyone but crucial hospital personnel were cleared from the room, the windows were covered, and Shepard had to wait outside. She paced the mess hall, ignoring the eyes on her. She couldn't sit still. She was too slow, she was too broken still. _Why does everyone around me always have to die!_ She cursed under her breath and clenched her fist, the pain from her hand clearing her brain slightly.

After what felt like forever, the doctor came out, blue all over her gloved hands. She nodded with a small, tired smile to Shepard and let her back inside. She rushed to Garrus' side and looked him over, glancing up at the monitors to see his vitals in a safe range, quietly beeping away with his heartbeat. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and placed a hand on his.

"Get better quick, Garrus, I need you back at my side." She said softly, hoping he could hear her.

"Commander, why is there a metal shard in your shoulder?" Chakwas chided her as she forced her to undress, tending her wounds and clicking her tongue disapprovingly at the sight of her bruised and broken hand along with the pieces of shrapnel that made its way to her skin through the soft spots in her armor. She couldn't take her eyes off of Garrus. She'd almost lost him and that stung more than she was prepared for.

"Commander, Jacob wants to speak with you in the debriefing room."

As soon as the doctor was finished bandaging her, she redressed in her armor and headed to the debriefing room.

_Garrus took the mug of honey sweetened hot milk in one hand, and is coffee in another. The tincture smelled noxious to him, but every time she couldn't sleep, this was what she drank. He didn't know if she'd fallen asleep in the debriefing room or what, but she hadn't left in several hours. _

_The door slid open, he wasn't the least bit surprised to what he saw. The window behind the FTL comm. was open, the lights were dim, and she sat in a tank top and shorts in the middle of the room, surrounded by data-pads and mission files. He heard her make a noise at one of the data-pads then saw her turn to a stack of folders on the other side of her and start digging through them. Finding what she was looking for, she turned back to the data-pad, completely ignorant of Garrus' watching. He shook his head. It was too late… no, early for this. Citadel time read 04:30, most of the crew still had an hour of sleep, he'd woken hearing an overly exasperated sigh several hours ago. He knew she hadn't slept. _

_"Commander." She nearly leapt from her skin. "I brought you something." He handed her the glass. She blinked up at him, taking the mug. She sniffed it and closed her eyes, a soft sigh escaping the small smile on her lips. _

_"Thank you, Garrus." She took a small swig and burned her tongue, she stuck it out. He'd never seen a human tongue before; they looked so squishy and soft compared to the firm, coarse tongue of Turians. She shook her head and set the mug down, he thought she looked a bit embarrassed. "Why are you up so early?"_

_He pointed to his ears. Her eyes widened with the realization. "Oh, Garrus, I'm sorry. I forgot how close your bunk is! Damnit I should have had white noise or something…"_

_He held up a hand, "I'm fine, Commander." She had dark circles under her eyes, her posture slumped. She looked exhausted, and like she had been crying. "Are you?" He knew he was overstepping, but he wasn't awake enough to be delicate. _

_"What do you mean?" She evaded, but he continued to watch her. She let out a long sigh and stared out the window. "Losing Ash is hard. She trusted me, would have done anything for me… and I led her directly to the flames and left her to burn." _

_The torment was plain on her face. She touched the scar on her tattoo and sighed, "But its done, no amount of grief will change that." She gave him a small, sad smile, "Thank you for asking." _

_He sat down beside her and lifted a data-pad. "So, what exactly are you doing in here?" _

_She picked up her mug, taking another sip, he saw her visibly tense. "I'm tracking Batarians." Her tone was acid. He looked at her surprised. "Promise you won't tell anyone?" He shook his head, "I'm hunting the Batarian pirates that hit Mindoir. Yes I know they hit the ship but they didn't get the leader or the one in charge of corralling the slaves. Kron and Balak, those sick bastards are still out there, I'm going to find them, and I'm going to kill them."_

_He lifted the report from Mindoir, Balak had single handedly killed her parents, as well as several people in pictures that seemed very close to her. They'd encountered him on Asteroid X57, she'd let him go to save the scientists. He felt her anger, the heat that radiated off of her against the side of his face. But it was too hot…_

_"Garrus… I need you back at my side." Her voice came from somewhere else, somewhere far. He looked at her; she didn't seem to hear it. In the distance he heard beeps, his right mandible began to flake and melt away, the pain was searing…._


	3. Chapter 3

After a long discussion about the mission up to this point, Jacob seemed to catch on to her anxiety over Garrus, she kept looking at the door as if she wanted to rush out of it.

"Commander, we've done what we could for Garrus." Her attention snapped back to him and he continued gently, "But he took a bad hit. The docs corrected what they could with cybernetics, best we can tell he'll have full functionality, but…" the door flew open, breaking off his sentence.

Garrus stood as tall as he could in the doorway. He felt the pain, but he managed to get some rest since then and, much to the doctor's dismay, couldn't stay in bed. He'd remembered the terrified look on the commander's face even as he was on the edge of death. He'd never seen her afraid before, it shook him. But now he could see the tension ease from her, her shoulders relaxed and she crossed her arms, resting her hip on the table as she smiled over at him.

"Tough son of a bitch, didn't think he'd be up yet." Jacob was in disbelief, any human would be down for weeks.

"No one would give me a mirror," he walked towards her, "How bad is it?"

"Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly, slap some face paint on there and no one will know the difference." She grinned mischievously.

"Ha… aw damn it, don't make me laugh. My face is barely holding together as it is." His hand came up and tentatively touched his mandible. "Some women find facial scars attractive…" he began, using a sultry tone, then shook his head, "Mind you most of those women are Krogan." She grinned wider and shook her head at him, he could have sworn he saw her eyes roll.

He watched her nod to Jacob, dismissing him. Once the door shut, his tone became serious. "Frankly, Shepard, I'm more concerned about you. Cerberus? You remember all those sick experiments they were doing?"

"I haven't forgotten, Garrus. The only surviving member of my unit was mixed in it. I hate them as much as ever." Her eyes shadowed.

She was leaving something out, "Shepard, what's going on?"

"Collectors are attacking human colonies. In a matter of hours everyone is…gone. The alliance won't do anything about it and is blaming it all on slavers, so is the Council. Cerberus is the only one taking a stand. I don't like it either, but it's better than sitting on my hands." She fell quiet for a moment then looked back up at him, "I'm glad you're here Garrus, it's good to have someone I trust at my side, especially if I'm about to walk into hell."

"You do realize this plan has me walking into hell too, right?" He laughed as gently as he could to keep his face in one piece, "Just like the good old days." She returned his smile, "I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, I'll settle in and see what I can do for the forward batteries." He nodded a farewell and left the room.

She stared after the place he'd just been standing and let out a large sigh of relief. She'd almost lost him. She rode the elevator up to her apartments and changed out of her armor before plopping down on her bed. She stared up at the stars, a small smile stuck on her face. She'd turned him. Garrus, the used to be snooty C-Sec boy had become a hardened vigilante taking on major gangs. She was sad he was forced into that situation, but proud of how he'd handled it. Her terminal beeped. She sat up slowly, rolling to keep the weight off of her ribs. A message from Anderson, she could almost see him typing this frantically and smiled. She missed him… but she wasn't sure she could face him just yet. Maybe after she recruited Mordin…then she'd go see him. How could she tell him she was working with Cerberus now?

But Mordin had to be her priority. And she couldn't bring Garrus into a plague-zone for Turians, not with him in this condition. She summoned Zaeed and Jacob to the airlock and back onto Omega. With Garrus safely tucked away and healing, she could focus on saving Mordin.

"I'm human you ass!" A woman was yelling at a Turian, demanding to be let back in.

Shepard listened for a while before interjecting, "So, we can't go in?"

"Finally a human that can hear." He explained the situation in detail. Vorcha and Blue Suns killing off anyone not already dying, a full gang war amidst a plague…typical Omega. She shook her head, "Look, you're stuck here until this is all sorted out, right?" The Turian nodded, "What you need is for someone to fix this problem, and fast. That's what I do, solve problems. I'll get this district sorted out so you can get on with your own life."

Eventually the Turian nodded, "Why the hell not, the quarantine is more to keep infected people in anyway."  
>The woman was livid, Shepard left them behind to argue. "You don't have a grenade launcher lady." She couldn't help but chuckle.<p>

The ward reeked of rotting and burning flesh and disease. She coughed as she choked on the smell, pushing away her memories of Mindoir and Akuze. She knelt to help a Batarian.

"Lies drip from your mouth like the blood from my sores." He groaned, nearly passing out before she gave him medi-gel. She spoke gently with him, he was obviously in pain. "Maybe it's the fever, but your words….sound sincere. As you said, what have I to lose? What do you wish to know?" She promised to send someone back for him and made their way to Mordin's clinic.

The conversation with Mordin took all of five seconds with how fast he was speaking. She informed him of her mission and who she was working for, and asked for his help. He became very flustered and refused, saying his mission was more important, while she agreed that the plague needed cured, she was exasperated.

Shepard shook her head, "Just once I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say 'Sure! Let's go right now! No strings attached!'" She sighed, her arms falling to her sides. "What do you need me to do?"

She fell back onto her bed on the Normandy, a smirk on her face. Dr. Mordin Solus, ex-STG and a very interesting character. He would be an excellent asset to her team, and he was funny too. He seemed unsurprised by the AI, and she agreed, Cerberus must be desperate. She tongued the back of her lip ring, it still hurt. She'd had one in the left corner of her bottom lip before but along with all her scars Cerberus had gotten rid of it. It was a bit swollen, but she knew the drill. She stretched out before popping back up. No time to rest, she needed to go and check on Garrus.

"You know, I really wanted to add 'Saved Omega from the Plague' to my resume." Garrus commented when he saw her, then shook his head, "I see you have your lip ring back, I was wondering where it went."

"Had to get it re-done," She rubbed her lip, "It's a bit swollen still. Hey, do Turians ever get piercings?"

"Not really, no," He said with a laugh, "Our armor plating tends to break the needles."

"Right…." She smiled at him gently. "You got a minute?"

"Sure, just checking the weapons systems, can never be too careful. Thought I'd seen it all, mercenary work showed me otherwise. And now the Normandy is back and better than ever."

"She's still just a copy," Garrus was a bit surprised at her tone and that look in her eyes was so sad.

"It's better than nothing. I'd take a copied Normandy over no Normandy any day. Cerberus did a hell of job fixing her up; I only wish we would have joined them sooner."

"We haven't joined them; we are using their resources to save the colonies and take down the Collectors, that's it. But I'm glad to see you are getting along with the new crew." She sat down on the stack of crates.

"Better than I'd expected, they are being quite civil, plus they have you vouching for them. I can't exactly doubt your judgment…not after I got my own squad killed." He shook his head and turned away. "I formed my team to kick back at Omega, everyone of us out to make the gangs think twice before murdering someone in the streets. And they all wound up dead because of me."

"Do you not remember anything I taught you?" She tried to keep her tone gentle. He looked up at her, confused. "Garrus, they were strong, and they lost. If you had been there maybe you could have made the difference, but you also could have wound up dead alongside them."

"That might have been better." He shook his head, "living with this guilt it's… hard."

"It gets better." Her tone was soft, she stood and put a hand on his shoulder, "Why don't you tell me what happened. How did you wind up on Omega, I thought you went to Spectre training?"

"I did, but I couldn't stand all the political bullshit on the Citadel, no one was willing to do anything. But on Omega, there was no red tape to slow me down and it was crawling with thugs who thought they were untouchable kicking the helpless, it was a perfect fit." He paused.

"That explains how you became Archangel, how'd you get a squad?" She prompted him to continue.

"Not to different from you, actually, prove you get things done and people join up. Mercs wanting to atone, security consultants tired of playing by the rules, I gave them hope." He said forcefully, "And now they're dead, shows what I know."

"How did they track you down? That fortress was in the middle of nowhere."

He looked at his feet, "It was my own damn fault. One of my team betrayed me, a Turian named Sidonis. He sold me out and ran."

"Maybe he was a casualty?" She followed him as he paced down the hall, "Maybe they killed him first?"

Garrus gave her a weak smile, "Trust you to hunt for the good side of bad people. But no, he cleared out his bank accounts and booked passage off Omega the day before. He sold me out and ran. I lost my whole team except for Sidonis, one day I will find him and correct that." His eyes burned with vengeance, it wasn't a look she was used to and it unnerved her. She put a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. He brushed past her, "Thanks for stopping by, but I have some things to take care of."

She didn't follow him. She knew the feeling and she'd wanted to be alone as well. She spoke gently, knowing he could hear her. "If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me." She turned and headed back up to the CIC.

Garrus braced his hands against his terminal, his thoughts swirling. He pushed his way back into Calibrations; they always helped clear his thoughts.

Garrus needed air. Calibrations didn't do the trick like they usually did so he went on a trip around the ship. No one was doing anything interesting and he didn't feel like going to engineering, Tali wasn't there so why bother. He wandered up to the bridge when he heard a commotion from the CIC. Roughly five crew members were gathered around Jokers chair, he nodded to them as he joined.

"What in the world is that?" Garrus asked, unable to believe his eyes.

"It's the commander. She posed for this magazine a few months before the original Normandy went down." Joker replied and turned to look at him, "Don't be a snitch, she'd kill me if she found out I had this."

"I won't tell, but you haven't answered my question, what is it?"

"A magazine called Battlescars, they go around and interview soldiers who have, well, a lot of scars or that are really interesting. They interviewed Shepard after she took out Saren and this was her pose." Joker informed him, holding up the magazine for Garrus to see. Her back was strong, the muscles well defined, her arms up and flexing; but that wasn't what caught his attention. There was a tattoo of two wolves on her left shoulder, circling each other inside of a dream catcher. The black wolf looked rabid and violent, its red eyes beaming with hatred, while the white practically radiated with purity, its eyes a bright blue. A large scar ripped between them and feathers shot out from the side. Her entire back was covered in both small and large scars.

"That's interesting. Did they just take the picture?" He looked at the front, the article next to her shoulder read 'Scars of a Spectre, Get a glimpse at the Commanders scars and hear her stories' in elegant script. Joker opened to the page, everyone stood around him as he read the Q & A article:

Q: What does your tattoo represent?

A: It's based on an old earth Indian story about a battle between two wolves. A black wolf that represents hatred, anger, ego, greed, basically all of the negative aspects of humanity against a white wolf that is purity, hope, love, caring, all the positive attributes. They are locked in a constant battle, at the end of the story, it is asked which one wins, and the story teller replies 'The one you feed'. It's my reminder to always feed the right wolf.

Q: Why do you have so many scars? Why not just remove them?

A: Scars remind us that the past actually happened, and can help separate dreams from reality. Every single one of my scars has a story attached to it, I wake up and I know I am still me, I know where I came from and where I intend to go. Sure I could get them removed, anyone could. But no one else has scars like mine. They remind me that I have gone out into the galaxy and lived, I obviously didn't dodge well, but I lived.

Q: What is your favorite color?

A: ….Green. You can ask me anything, and you ask me what my favorite color is? C'mon guys, step up your game.

Q: Are they any men in your life?

A: Ok you stepped up your game…Can I say 'no comment' on these? Is that fair? No? Um… technically no?

Q: What can you recommend to all the colony kids out in the Terminus?

A: Live your dreams, no matter how far away they might seem. I know this sounds clichéd but if you apply yourself and bust you're a** towards something, you can make it happen. Also, take a martial art; you never know when slavers might hit. If the community has an escape plan, you can save more people.

The questions degraded from there. Garrus remembered her having scars on her arms and neck, but it was interesting to see the tattoo, he liked the story for it, and that she kept them all. He smirked, Krogan's would even find her attractive, she was practically one already. The distraction had served its purpose and he was back to calibrations.

"My advisor is unavailable" She heard Anderson say through the door, "Shepard will be here any mom-Ah, commander! We were just talking about you."

"It's been a long time, Anderson, I hope the last few years have treated you right," She gave him a firm handshake.

"It's been rough, but it's good to have you back." He shared her smile.

The Salarian councilor interrupted, forcing her to explain her ties with Cerberus. The Asari explained the meeting was so she could defend herself from the allegations, they owed her that much. Which was true, she had saved their lives and the entire crew of the Ascension. She sneered as the Turian councilor dismissed the reapers.

"Look at the wreckage! Look at—"

"The council has made its decision, commander. Also, that is not the purpose of this meeting."

She tried not to growl.

_Keep a low profile, yeah right_, she thought, but was happy to have her Spectre status reinstated none the less. No sense in burning bridges, and she wanted a quick end to her relationship with Cerberus just as much as they did, if not more. They ended transmission with the council as Udina charged into the room. She groaned.

"I have a long list of people I didn't want to see, your name is right at the top." She sneered as he ranted about a political shit storm. "That's your job isn't it, cleaning up the metaphorical shit? Besides, it went fine. I'm a Spectre again and everyone's happy."

"You shouldn't have done this without consulting me first." Udina pressed on Anderson.

"I don't report to you, Udina, it's the other way around. Why don't you go back to your office and think about that?" Anderson replied; his stance authoritative as Udina slinked away. She waited until the door was closed before embracing him tightly. Garrus already knew Anderson had taken her in after the fiasco on Mindoir, and she was sure Miranda had done her homework on her and would have known as well. He was practically her step-father.

"I missed you." She said into his shoulder.

"I missed you too. Losing you was hard, on everyone." He returned the hug before letting her go. He walked over to the balcony and answered all of her questions. She was pissed to find that all of the wreckage from Sovereign went unexamined, how blind could they be?

_I am the vanguard of your destruction…_

She dismissed herself from Anderson, promising to keep in touch but she had a long ways to go, and the more she delayed the more colonies were taken. She grabbed some groceries for Gardner and picked up some cool looking fish before heading back towards the Normandy.

"Commander Shepard, enter the password to win a free prize!" An advert of a hooded woman summoned her. She sighed, she hated these stupid things.

"Silence is Golden." She said flatly, "Ms. Goto I presume?"

"Very good, Shepard, you really are as quick as they say. Its good to finally meet you, Commander, I'm a fan. "

She laughed lightly, "Thanks. You ready to head out and save the galaxy?"

"Of course, after you run the little errand I was promised." The add smirked at her.

"Which Cerberus neglected to mention." She crossed her arms, "What do you need?"

"I guess it slipped their minds…I'm looking for my old partners Graybox. A man named Donovan Hock took it, and I intend to get it back."

"If that's what Cerberus promised you, we'll get it done."

"It'll be fun!" She continued excitedly, "And if we are lucky, you won't even have to draw your gun."

"I'm going to warn you right now Kasumi," She laughed, "I'm never that lucky."

"We'll see. But we had better wrap this up, you look pretty silly talking to an advertisement." She winked before cutting the connection.


	4. Chapter 4

Her boots crunched hard on the rocky ground. She looked around, dead Krogan were everywhere. A voice was over the loudspeaker.

"Someone likes the sound of their own voice." Garrus commented as they pressed forward.

The scrambling mercenaries were no match for the highly trained group and they fell quickly. She interrogated one, giving him the chance to limp of to find some shade to die in before pressing ahead.

"Admit it. You enjoyed that." Garrus quirked a brow at her.

"So did you" she replied with a smirk over her shoulder.

Shortly after, they encountered a Krogan, she didn't feel he was hostile and motioned for her group to lower their weapons.

"Seven night cycles and I have felt only the need to kill. But you…something makes me speak."

He answered all of their questions eloquently before clearing their path forward. She couldn't help think of Saren's cloning base on Virmire.

"You could have left at any time, why stay here?"

"I do it because my blood commands me. If they come, I will fight. But I will not run, and I will not follow. That is what the voice said. I am not perfect, but I have purpose." He returned to his post. Shepard glanced back at him, a pained look on her face Garrus couldn't help but notice before pressing forward.

They fought their way to the Warlords lab where they encountered a familiar asari. She claimed to have shut down the security cameras to make her passage easier. Garrus saw Shepard shift her hips and cross her arms, she looked down her nose at the asari.

"Tell me, Rana, why is it that I always find you in cloning facilities I'm about to destroy?"

"Oh don't worry! I'm not wasting this chance you gave me, he's trying to do something good, I know it!" She saw the look in Shepard's eyes, "Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to get the hell out of here before you blow up the place." She turned to run from them but Shepard held out an arm to stop her, pushing the asari to face her once more.

"Rana, where are you going? We were having such a lovely chat." She advanced on the asari until her back was against the wall with nowhere to run, "Listen to me very, _very_ carefully." She leaned over and the asari hunched down to keep distance, "If I see you again, _ever_, I will end your life as slowly and painfully as you could possibly imagine. Do you understand?" The asari nodded frantically. Shepard let her go and she ran hard and fast from them.

"Would have killed her myself," Zaeed chimed in, "No one gets a third chance."

"There is something so magical about one bad guy being so afraid of you that he spreads that fear like a disease to all of his evil friends." Shepard grinned, "There is a method to my madness."

Garrus blinked at her as she turned away to raid the medi-gel, when did Shepard become so sadistic? Well, maybe she always was with bad guys.

They went through the next door and faced Okeer, who was playing the perfect villain. He preached on and on about how perfect this Krogan was. She walked around the tube, he looked different from other Krogan, not quite as big as Wrex, but he looked powerful.

"You don't seem like a prisoner, and certainly not grateful that I'm here." She crossed her arms. Garrus forgot how he loved the way she looked when she stared down a Krogan, the challenge in her eyes, he shook his head.

"A formerly deceased Shepard is not a sign of gentle change." He continued, bantering on about his perfect Krogan and his approval of how she handled Virmire. She was glad to have at least one fan out in the universe.

"Flush the tanks!" The woman's voice came over the intercom.

"Go! Protect my legacy, I will stay and…do what needs to be done." Okeer turned and typed frantically in the computer.

They dealt with the mercenaries and heavy mechs quickly before they heard the alarms going off in Okeer's lab. EDI popped up and alerted her that Okeer's vital signs were failing. They rushed back up to the lab as the air was vented clean, Okeer dead on the floor. She cursed under her breath as she watched the video. She radioed joker.

"Okeer is a no go, but we have a package for pickup. And he's a big one."

"Cerberus protocol is very clear regarding untested alien technology." EDI warned.

"Look, he's either a powerful addition to the crew or a time bomb, either way I want to deal with it now, your concerns are noted."

"Very well, the switch-and consequences- are yours." EDI emphasized.

"Thanks for warning." She pulled up the monitored and signaled the tank to open. It bubbled and cracked open, spilling fluid all over the tank as the massive Krogan fell forward on his knees, coughing up more fluid. His eyes struggled to focus, but as soon as he saw her, he charged, slamming her against the crates. Her still not fully healed ribs cracked under the force but she stared him down none the less.

"I don't take threats lightly, I suggest you relax." She said through her teeth after the introduction.

"Not your name…mine… legacy, warlord…grunt... Grunt was among the last, it'll do." He pressed his arm harder against her throat, "I will fight to determine the strongest, might as well start with you."

"I have a good ship and a strong Clan, you'd make it stronger."

"If you are weak or choose weak enemies, I will be forced to kill you." He growled.

"Our enemies are worthy, there's no doubt about that." She laughed, surprising him. He held this tiny human by her throat and she was laughing. He nodded.

"That's… acceptable. I'll fight for you."

"I'm glad you saw reason." She smiled at him and he heard the click of a gun being disarmed and looked down, seeing a shotgun pressed against a weak point in his armor. Now it was his turn to laugh. He released her.

"Offer one hand but arm the other, you're alright Shepard. When I find…what I want… I will be honored to face you." He nodded. She chatted with him about Okeer for a moment before dismissing herself. She got in the elevator and let out the breath she'd sucked in. Her ribs were screaming. She got out of the elevator and went straight to Chakwas.

"You should have been more careful!" She chided as she applied ointment to the bruises.

"The human saying 'I told you so' seems very appropriate for this situation." EDI chimed in.

"Oh hush, both of you." She winced as the doctor touched a tender area. "We're fine now and we have a very powerful addition to our team. I like him." She said with a smile, which quickly faded into a sneer and she hopped off the table, "Ow! Doc, be careful that hurts!"

"Well your ribs are broken, I don't quite see how they wouldn't." She pushed Shepard back on the table. "Your wound from Omega has healed beautifully, your cellular regeneration must be amplified by your implants. You can barely see a mark."

Garrus heard her cry out. His calibrations immediately interrupted as he continued to listen, his predator hearing heightened by the sound of potential injured prey. He heard the doctor chide her, and begun to grin until broken ribs were mentioned. He didn't know a lot about human anatomy, but he figured human ribs to be like his support plates. He winced and saved his progress, heading to medbay to check on her. Her shirt was draped on the edge of the bed, exposing her torso aside from the black sports bra, and her stomach and chest were covered in one large, ugly bruise.

"How in the hell did you manage that?" He crossed his arms.

"Commander Shepard decided to awaken the Krogan from his tank in the cargo bay. This is the result of the following altercation." EDI piped.

"Thanks so much _EDI,_ now why don't you go pester Joker instead of following me all over the damn ship." Shepard snapped at the blue hologram, which obediently disappeared, "Worst addition."

"Why didn't you bring backup?" He walked forward.

"I didn't need it."

"Obviously you did."

"No I didn't, having backup would have made the situation worse, and you would have shot him immediately after impact." She glowered at him, "And I'll have you know I am his commander now and he agrees to follow my orders so long as the enemies are worthy. And we are not short on enemies."

"Commander you shouldn't have done that on your own! You could have been killed, you still aren't healed." Chakwas added.

"She's right, Shepard, that was dangerous. You shouldn't—"

"Enough! I'm the commanding officer of this ship and I will be damned if you tell me what I can and cannot do!" She stood, pushing Chakwas aside, her commander mode on. She stared them both down, ignoring the screaming pain in her chest. "Now stop it, both of you. The situation is handled so stop questioning my methods." _You never did before. _She cringed and touched her shoulder where her wolves used to be.

A light went off in Garrus mind. Where were her scars? He looked at her neck, then her shoulders, arms, stomach, there was nothing. She turned to grab her shirt off of the table and he caught a glimpse of her back, where her tattoo used to be with that horrid jagged scar running across it… smooth as silk aside from one faint jagged line on her right shoulder that was barely visible.

"Shepard, what happened to your scars and tattoo?" He asked blatantly, no idea the effect it would have on her. She froze immediately and became subdued, pulling her shirt back on over her head to cover herself, she braced her arms against the bench.

"Cerberus thought they were flaws, I guess. Not suited to make it to the final copy." Her voice was quiet as she touched the spot on her neck where a small scar used to be. She shook her head and turned to leave. "I have work to do." She brushed past him and made it to the elevator before he caught up with her, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Shepard-"  
>"Garrus don't." She didn't look at him. "I know you see it, everyone does. I'm just a copy, just like the Normandy, complete with all the little Cerberus upgrades."<p>

"No you aren't." He growled.

"How do figure, Garrus?" She looked him dead in the eye, wrenching her arm from his grasp; he followed her onto the elevator, "The real Shepard died on that frozen wasteland, a pile of ash. This is just a copy of who she was. And for all I know I might be a freaking Geth hidden under flesh. You see the glow in my eyes? That's not hope or life or anything that's all cybernetics."

"You're right." He said with a glower.

"What?" She knew it, but she still felt stunned and hurt. Part of her was hoping she was wrong.

"You can't be the commander everyone loves, you can't be that courageous woman who took on the galaxy to spite the council." He advanced on her, forcing her to back up against the wall, he leaned over her, forcing her to look up at him, "Because that Commander Shepard would _never_ have let something like this set her back. She would have shrugged it off and pushed on to go get all new scars with all new stories. And she sure as hell would _never _have pushed anyone who didn't deserve it, especially Dr. Chakwas."

His words stung. She looked down at her feet. "What the hell do you expect me to do, Garrus? What can I do?"

He put his hands on both of her shoulders, "Close your eyes." She looked at him hesitantly, but obeyed. "Now take a deep breath and tell me, does the Normandy feel any different?" after a pause, she shook her head, "Aside from the obvious broken ribs, do you feel any different?" She shook her head again, "Think of Anderson, did he look at you any different?" She shook her head and her brow furrowed, a small tear forming in the corner of her eye, "Now open your eyes. Am I looking at you any different?"

He wasn't prepared for the way she looked at him. Her usually distant but friendly eyes showed such vulnerability, sadness, and fear, something he'd never seen from her before. He couldn't stop himself, he still isn't sure where the urge came from, but he pulled her into his chest in a tight embrace. His head sat atop hers as he pulled her close, she was rigid at first, but relaxed and he felt her arms come around his waist to return the action. This wasn't a typical behavior for Turians, their keel tended to get in the way, but he'd seen it with humans often as a sign of comfort or affection. He wasn't sure which he was trying to convey.

"Thank you." She said quietly against his chest. He nodded but didn't let her go, he didn't want to. The realization was a bit of a surprise for him. "…Garrus?"

"Hm?" He didn't let go.

"How did you know about my tattoo?"

He froze, "Uh…"

"The truth, please."

"An article?" He tried to be vague.

"Joker is still carrying that stupid thing around?" She sighed and he let her go reluctantly. "I told him to toss it." She looked at him, something was different about her, "Ah well, I guess it isn't all bad." She grinned before exiting the elevator, which had stopped a while ago at her cabin. "G'night, Garrus."

The doors closed, separating the two. He heard the door to her cabin open and close, but still hadn't pressed a button on the elevator to leave. What had gotten into him? His heart was pounding in his chest, he hadn't wanted to let her go… he wanted to follow her into her cabin. He pressed the button to go back to the crew deck before he did something stupid. He'd felt something different for a while, but he'd always attributed it to admiration or relief from her return. But lately it was something a bit stronger. He worried when she wasn't around for him to protect her, which was foolish because she was perfectly capable of defending herself. But still he felt this strong desire to be near her, to touch that odd stuff humans called 'hair', feel it slide between his talons, feel the soft skin… and he'd never been that close to her before, she had this subtle, warm scent he couldn't quite place, but now that he knew it, he smelled it all over the elevator, and on his armor.

And what did she think? When he grabbed her he heard her heart fluttering in her chest, did he just startle her? Did he excite her? Or did he just make a huge mistake? She didn't seem angry, and she had returned the action… He shook the thought away. He didn't think humans were attractive, they were all so squishy and had adapted poorly for any kind of natural self defense. But this human… she was different from any other female he had ever met. Turian or otherwise.

As her door closed, she let out a sigh and placed a hand on her heart to try and stop it from fluttering. Garrus was so close. She walked into the bathroom and splashed cool water on her face, trying to subdue the blush that had spread across her cheeks. She braced herself against the sink, looking at herself in the mirror. The scars had almost completely faded, and you couldn't see the red in her eyes unless you looked for it.

She smiled gently, _I guess this isn't all bad._ She felt like a little girl with a crush. She'd always found Turians attractive, and one in particular had turned into kind of a badboy, which was attractive on its own. The hug had startled her, but not exactly in a bad way. She didn't know what to do with him so close, leaning over her, making her feel vulnerable, yet safe. She knew what she wanted to do, but as a commanding officer… She shook her head, she didn't have time to let her mind wander like this, no matter how much she wanted to entertain the fantasy. She walked back to her office and pulled up her mail, she needed to pick up someone named 'Jack' from a prison ship. They had plenty of oddballs on this ship, why not add a psychopath? She sighed and radioed Joker with the new heading.


	5. Chapter 5

"As this is a high security vessel, you are to relinquish your weapons. They will be returned to you upon departure." The guard stated methodically.

Shepard rolled her eyes, "What is it with security guards trying to take my gun? Not a chance."

"We insist that you relinquish your weapons now."

She drew her weapon, Garrus and Grunt drawing theirs as well, "I'll relinquish one bullet, where do you want it?" Her voice was sweet and her smile was gentle, but the look in her eyes was deadly.

A Turian walked up behind the trio of guards, commanding the attention of the room, ordering everyone to stand down. Her squad didn't flinch.

"Commander, I am Warden Kuril, this is my ship. Your weapons will be returned on the way out, you must realize this is just a standard procedure."

"Its my standard procedure to keep my gun, I'm not surrendering it, _period_." She glowered up at him, undaunted as he stared back down at her. They held eye contact for what felt like forever, the two commanding presences in the room fighting for control of the situation in a silent battle. In the end, the warden withdrew.

"Let them proceed, our facility is more than capable enough to handle three armed guests." He turned to lead them into the facility.

Shepard looked back at Garrus, "Sounds a bit familiar to Noveria, doesn't it?"

"Let's hope the end is different." He replied as the group followed Kuril.

"Cell block C, as you can see, we keep tight control over the population." Kuril bragged on his facility, and Shepard's skin crawled. Yes these people were criminals but they were treated less than cattle.

"That's lovely, but what can you tell me about Jack?" She interrupted.

"Jack? She's the meanest… nastiest piece of hate I've ever seen." He seemed deep in thought.

"Lovely, just what I need confined on my ship." She shook her head, "How exactly did you come by this line of work?"

"I was law enforcement back on Palaven, I got tired of seeing criminals escape into the galaxy. Here, they have nowhere to go, and they know it." He continued walking, going on about blackmailing the home-worlds for money, keeping the prisoners under tight guard. Eventually he stopped at a junction in the hall. "I am going to go make sure the funds from Cerberus cleared, out processing is through this door and at the end of the hall. Its been nice walking with you, Commander."

They locked eyes once more and the warden walked away, she hated the look in his eyes.

"Garrus, Grunt. Be on your guard, something isn't right, our lovely warden is hiding something." They nodded and continued down the hall. She stopped a guard from beating a prisoner, learned the prisoners were being sold, and were disturbed by a man hearing screams. She couldn't blame them, if she'd been locked in a bubble for years she was sure she would have started to hear things too.

"Out processing is through the door at the end of the hall." The assistant said, not looking up from his computer. The door whooshed open, revealing a small cell.

"My apologizes, Shepard, but you are more valuable as a prisoner than as a customer." The voice came over the intercom. She drew her weapon. "Please drop your weapons and proceed into the cell."

"I knew you were shady. So much for your honor, you're just a glorified slave trader." She cocked her gun, "In case you were wondering, this is the part where you regret letting keep my gun."

"Activate systems!" He barked, sounding almost concerned.

They fought their way through the mechs and Blue Suns, taking out a few hostile assistants along the way. They reached a console and she reached for a lever.

"That's going to open every cell here." Garrus warned.

"It's the only way to get Jack out of Cryo, then we get the hell out of here." She replied and pulled the lever. "Shes…."

"Jack is small." Grunt finished before the woman broke free of her restraints and slammed through the heavy mechs guarding her, punching a hole through the wall to escape. "Move! I want to see how long she lasts!"

They fought their way through prisoners and guards alike, making their way after Jack.

"You're more trouble than you're worth, Shepard." Kuril shouted, a shot from his rifle grazing her shoulder as they all took cover. "I could have sold you and lived like a king!"

"Get over yourself, Kuril! You've fallen so far you can't even see where you started. The galaxy will be a better place once you lie dead." She pulled out her rifle and motioned Garrus to do the same. They lined up their shots and hit him in each eye at the same time. He flew back against the wall, where Grunt rushed him, loading his belly with buckshot from his shotgun. The earth shook beneath them and they ran to the Normandy, this ship was going down and they needed to get out of there, with our without Jack.

They found her at the docking bay, throwing a tantrum, unaware of the guard approaching. Shepard took him out with a headshot before sheathing her weapon so she wouldn't appear a threat. Jack turned and saw her, clenching her fists.

"Who the hell are you and what do you want?" Jack demanded.

"Someone who just saved your ass, _you're welcome_." Shepard replied.

"He was already dead he just didn't know it, now who the hell are you."

"I'm Commander Shepard and I am here to get you off this ship." She said with a sigh.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, you're Cerberus." Jack paced like a caged lion.

"Look, I'm offering to be your friend," She crossed her arms and sunk back on her hip, her voice was sweet. "You don't want to be my enemy."

"They have a way of dying." Garrus added.

"You think I'm stupid?" Jack snapped.

"Yes." She smiled at Jacks agitated look, "This ship is going down in flames thanks to you, I have the only way out, I'm offering for you to join me, and you're arguing."

"We should just shoot her and patch her up on the ship…"

"Not a bad idea, Grunt."

"Make it worth my while." Jack answered after a moment.

"You don't have anything to bargain, honey." Shepard moved towards Jack, "Now be a good little girl, and get on the fucking ship. Or don't, and stay here to burn." She brushed past her, stopping by her ear, "Your choice." She said before continuing.

"I want to look at the Cerberus files, I want to see what they have on me!" Jack shouted after her. Shepard turned to look at her, a smile returning to her face.

"I'll give you full access, they aren't my secrets to keep." She motioned for them all to follow, "Now can we please get out of here?"

Back on the Normandy, Miranda was livid to say the least. "Commander you aren't authorized to give her access!" She ranted.

"Fine then, XO, I _command_ you to give her full access." Shepard had a headache building behind her left eye since they arrived on Purgatory, the gunfire did nothing to help and neither was Miranda's bitching. She grudgingly obeyed and went with a snarky Jack to the lower deck to go over 'every dirty little secret'. She went to leave to her cabin, to turn off the lights and listen to the bubble of her fish tank when Joker interrupted her thoughts.

"Call coming in from the Illusive Man, commander, its marked urgent." She sighed loudly, "I agree." Joker answered before transferring the call.

"Shepard! We have them." He began…

Her headache throbbed with every step, the rocks beneath her feet crunching loudly. When was the last time she'd had a good nights sleep?

"Look forward to seeing if you survive!" Mordin said happily and she rolled her eyes, she loved that quirky Salarian, but this was a bit much.

_Husks…_She hated husks. They killed them and the collectors off before stopping to examine them.

"This thing looks human," Grunt commented with a sneer, "One of the colonists?"

"No." Garrus answered, "The Geth impaled their victims on giant pikes, but we haven't seen any. The collectors must have brought them, and want the colonists alive for something else."

"Living victims? That's grim," She rubbed her temple, "These aren't like the husks from Eden Prime. They are more evolved."

"They still die when you shoot 'em."

"Let's get moving, we have a colony to save." She knew she was being short, but her patience was rubbed thin from her nagging headache. Mordin gave her some medicine, but it didn't seem to be helping any. She snatched up the particle beam leaning against an empty pod just before a wave of collectors hit. One began to seize wildly, glowing before erupting into flames. She shared a look with Garrus before the thing began to speak.

"Assuming direct control of this form." It roared. "Your form is fragile." He launched a fiery attack at them all, setting their armor aflame, "I know you feel this."

They fought for what felt like forever, each one they killed, another erupted into flame and became more powerful.

"And I'm sure you feel this." She said before shooting the collector in the skull, blasting it to bits.

"If I must tear you apart, Shepard, I will." Another rumbled as it burst into flames. How the hell did it know her name? They killed the last one and the group gathered around her, she leaned up against one of the pods, catching her breath.

"Are you alright?" Garrus knelt next to her, she looked strained. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine… how did that thing know my name?" She looked up at him wincing, "We need to get moving." She stood and made her way over to a large door, Garrus hacked the code for her.

"Company," They raised their weapons, "Get out here, now."

Their talk with the mechanic was panic filled and accusatory, she tried to keep him calm but was unsuccessful. _Alenko? _

"Who is Alenko?" She pressed.

"Some heroic Alliance type, here to monitor the instillation of the defense towers, but I bet he was spyin on us." He sneered.

_No….Kaiden?_ She couldn't believe what she was hearing. It couldn't be him…could it?

"We could use those defense towers to attack the collector ship, maybe send them running." She was so very tired.

"You'd need to calibrate the targeting matrix first, its never worked right."

She looked over her shoulder at Garrus, "Good thing we have someone who loves Calibrations here with us."

He grinned and turned towards the human, "One of us should be able to figure it out, we just need the location."

They reached the defense towers, accessing the core systems quickly. Shepard patched in to the Normandy.

"EDI, it's time to show these things we give as good as we get. Bring the defense towers online." She nearly growled into the microphone. After a lot more gunfire and some large, lobular creatures, she thought they might be in the clear. EDI put the estimate at 80% and Shepard had just started to relax when a massive creature came flying overhead, hitting them all with a pulse of energy that decimated their shields and sent them all flying against a wall. She grunted in pain and shook her head, which caused her even more. She pushed Garrus to his feet as Grunt opened fire, then ducked behind cover, her head in her hand.

"Shepard, are you alright?" Garrus pressed.

"Focus, Garrus." She snapped as she opened fire on the Praetorian. "EDI! We need those systems on line, NOW."

The creature defeated, it blew away as bits of ash. Shepard ran to the tower and hit the launch sequence. The anti-ship cannons began firing rapidly on the collector ship, forcing it to pull out. The main thrusters fired, rocketing them all in a loud cloud of smoke, her head screamed as she lifted her arms to shield herself.

"No! Don't let them go! They have half the colony!" The cowardly mechanic made another appearance as soon as the ship was a safe distance away.

"At least we did something! You just hid and locked the door on your friends." She snapped.

Garrus looked at her, something was under her skin, he just couldn't figure out what. She was never this short with civilians; she was always exceedingly patient with pretty much everyone. He had a brief moment of panic, could it be she was upset with him from the other day? He saw her wince and put a hand against her head, she was in pain. He moved to stand beside her.

"If it wasn't for Shepard, you'd all be on that ship." Garrus growled.

"Shepard? I know that name…"

"Commander Shepard, captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel." Kaiden said affectionately as he walked out from behind the crates. "You're in the presence of a God, Delan, back from the dead." Shepard cringed.

"You got left behind, figures. I'm done with you Alliance types." The mechanic left.

"I thought you were dead commander." He offered her hand, Shepard shook it firmly.

"Its been a while, how have you been?"

"That's it?" Kaiden snapped pulling his hand away. "I thought you were dead! We all did… I would have followed you anywhere, Commander! When I found out you were gone…I… you were more than our commander." He snapped, then sighed, "Why didn't you try to contact me, why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

"Its not like I had a choice, Kaiden, I spent the last two years in some kind of coma while Cerberus rebuilt me." She tried hard to stay patient.

"You're with Cerberus now?" The disgust was plain in his voice, "Garrus too?" He scoffed, "I can't believe the reports were right."

"If you read the reports why do you sound so surprised?" Garrus commented.

"I never expected her to be working with the enemy." Kaiden snapped at him.

"I never thought I'd say this but they aren't the enemy, not this time. You just saw the real enemy yourself. And I don't work for them, Cerberus and I want the same thing, to save our colonies." She retorted.

"You really believe that? You've turned your back against everything we stood for!" He shouted. Shepard head screamed at the sound. "I wanted to believe that you were right…I just never expected anything like this." His tone was disgusted. "You just turned your back on all of us, the Alliance, Anderson."

"Get over it Kaiden!" She snapped at the mention of Anderson, "You need to look at what's important. The collectors are abducting human colonies and they are working for the Reapers." She practically growled at him.

"I'd like to believe that, Shepard, but I don't trust Cerberus. It worries me that you do."

"Damn it, Kaiden. You're so focused on Cerberus that you won't see the big picture." Garrus snapped. He knew Shepard was in distress, he could hear it in her heart beat; see it in her posture, and Kaiden was just making it much worse.

"Just leave it, Garrus, he's made his decision."

"It doesn't matter, I know where my loyalties lie. Can you say the same?" Shepard stayed silent, Kaiden turned away, "I'm reporting back to the citadel, let them decide if they believe your story."

"You and I both know how that is going to play out, Alenko."

"Goodbye Shepard, just…try to be careful." He said sadly before walking away.

Shepard sneered and pulled up her communication to Joker, "Joker, bring in the shuttle. I've had enough of this damn colony."

Garrus couldn't find her anywhere. He checked in with the doctor, she had no idea. He checked in with Mordin, where he learned nothing aside from 'doctor patient confidentiality'. He eventually had nowhere else to look aside from her personal cabin. He took the elevator up and paused outside the door. Her talk with Kaiden had to have been hard on her, especially with her being in pain. Would she want company? He shrugged, worst case scenario she told him to go away, which he told himself he would if she asked. But he was worried and needed to see that she was alright. He knocked on the door.

Silence.

He knocked again. Still silence. The door shone green at him, after a moment's hesitation, he opened it. The room inside was pitch black aside from the glow of the fish tank, and it was freezing cold. His eyes took a moment to adjust after the doors closed behind him, but he was soon able to see a small lump under the sheets.

"Shepard?" He said gently, walking down the stairs towards the lump. He heard a groan in response. "Are you alright?"

"No…" She groaned and he saw the covers pull tighter over her.

"If you're cold, I could turn the heat up. It's freezing in here." He hated the cold. Seeing the monitor for environmental control she only had the heat on high enough to keep the cold from deep space from coming in. The actual temperature was nearly 10C.

"Please no. It helps my headache." Her voice was thick, he must have woken her up, but at least he knew what was wrong with her.

"Why do you have a headache?" He sat on the edge of the bed. She pulled down the sheets just enough for him to be able to see her eyes look up at him.

"That is an excellent question."She let out a long sigh. "Mordin said my implants were fine, I haven't been sleeping great but I should be used to that."

"Maybe the universe just wanted to make your life a bit harder." He stood and turned to leave, "I'll let you rest."

"No, wait…" She pulled the covers back over her face when he turned around. "Please, just sit here for a while. After that…fiasco on Horizon I'd rather not be alone."

He hesitated, but sat back down on the edge of the bed. The entire room smelled like her, that subtle warm scent that drew your attention. It was such a soft smell, he couldn't help but relax. He lay back on the bed, just below her legs and propped his head up on his arms and stared up at the stars.

Her heart fluttered, what was she thinking, asking him to stay. It was foolish; she should have let him leave, let him go back to his own room or work on calibrations or whatever that entailed him being away. But she didn't want him away; she wanted him to hug her again, like he had in the elevator. For him to comfort her, reassure her. She hated that she wanted it, but she couldn't stop it. Was it so wrong for her to want someone to tell _her_ it was all going to be alright for once? Didn't the universe at least owe her that?

"I'm jealous of your room." He said, keeping his voice low. She nearly jumped when he spoke.

"It's pretty nice, isn't it?" She sighed; he heard the covers shift as she uncovered her face. "The view here is fantastic, hard to sleep sometimes."

"I would have thought the light from the tank would have seen to that." He scoffed.

"Well we humans can't see as well in the dark, when you have nightmares, it's nice to be able to open your eyes and see everything, not worry what might be waiting in the shadows." She teased.

"You're having nightmares?" Garrus asked, propping himself up on one arm to look at her. He was surprised at first, but then he remembered all that she had been through. Everything this woman had endured, everything she had seen, had yet to face, it would be more surprising for her not to have them.

"A few." She said softly. "But it's alright, I wake up and know they aren't real and that's that." After a brief pause she asked, "Do you ever have them?"

"I tend to expect the worst. Dreaming about it is just a waste of good sleep." He heard her laugh softly.

He let it go, for now. He wanted to fight her, tell her no it isn't alright to have nightmares, but knowing she was already in pain forced his lips shut. His mandibles clicked in agitation, but he forced himself to sigh and lay back down. After a while of them lying like that, he heard her breathing become shallow, her heart beat slowing, she'd fallen back asleep. He sat up and saw the soft features of her face, relaxed in sleep. Something tugged at him, but he pushed it away. He went to sit up and she stirred, so he lay back down, she fell right back to sleep. The rhythmic beat of her heart lulled him to sleep shortly after.


	6. Chapter 6

He woke with a start, not recognizing his environment. He heard the sound of water clattering against tile and looked over to realize he was still in Shepard's room. He rubbed his eye with the back of his hand, how long had he been asleep? He must have been out hard, she'd gotten up, made the bed, and there was a half empty cup of coffee sitting on her desk, and now she was in the shower. He felt heat rise beneath the plates of his face. Shepard was in the shower. His face became warmer, the heat began to spread. Shepard was only feet away from him, her silky skin soaking wet, tendrils of hair cascading down her back… he shook the thought away and stood, intent on rushing out the door. The water in the shower turned off and the door whooshed open shortly after, bathing the room in steam and the smell of her. His heart was pounding.

She stood in the doorway, drying her hair with a towel. She was dressed in a short pair of shorts and a loose fitting tank top, and he had never seen anything sexier. He shook his head, _I'm not into humans, _he lied to himself.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She said with a smile, "I honestly didn't think I could, you were passed out."

She had woken up roughly half an hour ago, him asleep on her feet. She had been flooded with anxiety upon the discovery he was still there, she was only in a shirt and her underwear under the covers. She had been so very quiet getting out of bed, but had nearly tripped on him trying to get her pants out of the drawer. She'd pulled them on quick but he didn't even flinch. She couldn't help but smile at him, she'd never seen him so relaxed. He'd sprawled out over half her bed, and it still almost wasn't big enough.

She walked over to her mug and took a swig, then stuck out her tongue. "Blech, it's cold already." She turned the heat up on the thermostat, "Forgot I left this dumb thing on."

He saw little bumps rise on her arms when she shivered, the heat from her shower escaping her in the freezing cold room, little drops of water falling from her hair and leaving tracks along her skin. His talons itched to rake through her hair. It was much longer than he thought, out of its bun the mass of it fell to her waist, her beautiful, narrow waist. He shook his head again.

"You ok Garrus?" She laughed, "You're shaking your head an awful lot."

"I'm fine, just having a hard time waking up." He lied. "I'm going to head down to the mess, get something to drink. I'll catch up with you later." He went to walk past her but she stopped him, a light touch on his arm. His heart went into his throat, he needed to get out of there.

"Thanks Garrus, I know it probably wasn't too comfortable for you, but I really appreciate you staying last night." She said softly with a small smile. His teeth clenched.

"Anytime." He replied, trying desperately to sound relaxed as she stared up at him smiling. He nodded goodbye and made it to the elevator. The fragrance of her skin began to fade the farther he was from her, and by the time he made it to the mess he could almost think clearly again. He grabbed a cup of coffee from Sgt. Gardner before heading back to his little slice of the Normandy. Since when was he such a pervert? The image of her, in the shower covered in soap wouldn't leave his mind. He began frantically calibrating, doing his best to keep her out of his thoughts.

"Shepard! Nyxerix hold my calls!" Liara exclaimed, rushing forward to embrace her in a long hug.

"It's great to see you Liara." She said with a warm smile before letting the asari go. "What have you been up to?"

"I've been working as an information broker, its paid the bills since you….well, for the last two years," She ended with a sad smile, Shepard was glad to see Liara wasn't upset with her. "But now you're back, that's what matters, and gunning after the Collectors with Cerberus."

"You're good. If you know that then you know I need help." She sat across from Liara.

"I cant I—I cant. I have things to take care of." She sounded distant all of the sudden.

"Things like going after the Shadow Broker?" Shepard pressed.

"How did you…"  
>"Aw man, I had a great pun for this about me being well informed… but I forgot it. Cerberus gave me this data packet." She handed the file over. Liara watched it excitedly, she could practically see the gears spinning, she smiled at the sight.<p>

"Feron…he's still alive!" Liara exclaimed, seeing the curious looks, she continued, "He helped me recover your body from the Shadow Broker, who was going to sell you to the collectors."

"Even in death, you're causing problems." Garrus shook his head.

"He sacrificed himself to save me." Liara continued, ignoring Garrus.

"Wait, if you rescued me how the hell did I wind up with Cerberus?" Shepard interjected.

"They gave me intel to help recover you, they actually put me with Feron in the first place…They said they could bring you back…I had to try." Her voice sounded sad.

Shepard approached Liara, putting a hand on her shoulder, "Thank you, Liara, if it wasn't for you I'd still be dead."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that, I was so worried you'd be upset, if they succeeded, that you were with Cerberus. I didn't know if you'd feel betrayed or—"

"Relax, Liara, I'm grateful." She smiled warmly.

"And now they are giving me a chance to find Feron…In two years, I hadn't even dreamed." Liara's hand brushed a frame on her desk, she couldn't see the contents. Liara looked back to her, "I spent two years planning revenge…now I can make it a rescue…I need some time. I'll head back to my apartment, use my terminal if you need anything."

"I'll stop by your apartment later, sound good?"

"It might take me longer than that. I'll send you a message to your personal terminal when I'm ready." Liara nodded and left.

She turned to Garrus and Grunt, "Alright boys, let's go find us an assassin."

"Shepard…But…You're dead." Nassana stumbled on her words.

Shepard grinned at her, "I got better."

"And now you are here to kill me…" The guards pointed their weapons at her, her own squad did the same, she didn't flinch.

"You really are paranoid, aren't you?" She shook her head.

"Don't patronize me." Nassana turned away, staring out the window of her high rise. "You must find this all very ironic, first my sister, now me. Well, you made it this far. Now, tell me who hired you."

"You still think I'm here to kill you, Nassana? Don't be so narcissistic. I'm just looking for someone."

"Don't toy with me, tell me what you want. Is it credits? Tell me how much you want and we'll make this problem go away." She didn't seem to hear the rustle in the air ducts.

Shepard smiled softly at her, "All the credits in the world won't make this problem go away."

"How are you any better!?" Nassana cursed, "We both kill people for money, what's the difference?"

"You kill people because you think they are beneath you, or they get in your way," She growled, "I kill people because they leave me no choice."

"You've got a choice…" She heard the rumble in the air ducts again, louder this time, the guards heard it too, but Nassana seemed focused on her. "You don't have to do this… I can tell you… Damn it check the other entrances."

No sooner had the guard left did a sleek form fall from the air ducts, killing all four guards around Nassana without a single bullet before she had the chance to turn around. When she had made it around the figure was against her, she barely muttered a question before her blood splattered against the computer behind her. The figure gently laid her now lifeless form down on the monitors, his figure pitch black due to the rising sun behind him, his head bent.

"Impressive…" Garrus murmured, "He certainly knows how to make an entrance."

Shepard took a step forward, motioning for her squad to lower their weapons. "I was hoping to talk to you."

He looked up at her, his eyes locked on her form. "I apologize, but prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken."

"Not sure she deserves it." Shepard said with a hint of sharpness. She never really liked the woman.

"Not for her," he looked back up at her, "for me." He sheathed his weapons and made his way around the monitor. "The measure of an individual can be difficult to determine by actions alone... Take you for instance," He gestured to her and began to circle, eying her up and down. She crossed her arms, shifting back on her hips, sizing him up in return. "All this destruction, chaos, I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me."

Garrus' finger itched for the trigger, he was standing entirely too close to her. He wanted to push the man away, punch his eyes out for looking at her that way. But she was doing the same to him, measuring him up. It was like watching a panther circle a wolf. He fought the urge to growl as the assassin stopped in front of her, too close.

"Well, here I am." He crossed his arms behind his back.

"How did you know I was coming at all?" She tilted her head, quirking an eyebrow at him as he walked back past her.

"I didn't, until you marched through the front door and started shooting." He looked over his shoulder at her, "You were a valuable distraction."

Garrus' finger twitched again, his mandibles clicking; he took a deep breath when he caught a curious look from Grunt. She simply smirked at him.

"Well, as you know I needed to speak with you. It's about the abduction of human colonies by a race called the Collectors. I need your help on a mission to hit them hard and put an end to it." She was straight forward; she knew dancing around the point with this man was going to get her nowhere.

"Attacking the collectors requires passing through the Omega 4 relay… No ship has ever done so successfully." He looked over at her, disbelief plain on his face.

"Yeah, they told me it was impossible to get to Ilos too." She shifted her hips and put a hand on her waist as she walked up to stand beside him at the window.

"A fair point," He said with a laugh, "you've built a career performing the impossible." He fell silent for a moment, "This was to be my last job…I'm dying."

Her posture shifted from intimidating to comforting, "I had no idea, is there anything we can do?"

"Low survival odds don't concern me, the abduction of your colonists does. You giving me this opportunity is enough... The universe is a dark place, I'm trying to make it a bit brighter before I die." He turned to face her, "Many innocents died today, I wasn't fast enough and they suffered for it, I must atone for that. I would be honored to work under you, Shepard, no charge. My arm is yours."

Shepard was in awe. She watched the justicar fling the asari troops around like ragdolls, and she looked sexy doing it. She snapped the neck of the last asari with her boot and Shepard almost clapped.

"My quarrel is with these eclipse sisters, yet I see three well armed individuals in front of me. Tell me, are we friend, or foe?" The justicar approached and Shepard sheathed her weapon.

"Friend, definitely." Garrus and Grunt put their guns down. "My name is Commander Shepard, I need your help on an important mission to stop the collectors."

"I would relish pitting myself against them, however I am already on an important mission, tracking a dangerous fugitive." She turned to the body lying on the floor, "These 'Eclipse Sisters' smuggled her off world before I could corner her, I must find the name of the ship before the trail runs cold."

She went with the detective, and Shepard set off to find the ship name. She followed the clues and wound up in a base full of eclipse mercenaries smuggling red sand. She heard someone whispering in a room, opening the door, an eclipse sister stood and surrendered immediately, saying she was new and didn't know anything. Shepard shook her head.

"I wish I could believe you, but that armor you're wearing," She motioned with her gun, "Makes you a liar."

"Go to hell, bitch." The asari barked before being gunned down.

"Speaking of armor, did you see Samara?" She shook her head, holding her hands out in front of her chest, "Holy cow, I hope I look that good when I'm… the human equivalent of her age…"

They fought their way through the ranks and encountered a volus stoned out of his mind accessing a vending machine. Shepard grinned and approached.

"I am a biotic god! I will tear you apart!" He took a breath and steadied himself after bumping into her, "I will breeze past you like a great wind!" He walked up to Garrus and shook his fist, "Fear me!"

Shepard struggled not to laugh, she looked at her crew smiling, "He's adorable."

Garrus and Grunt shook their heads.

"Shepard this guy couldn't tie his own boot laces, let alone fight."

She pushed him gently on his back, he fell face first into the ground, knocking some sense into him. She felt bad for the little guy, being injected and forced into a drugged out stupor.

"But...great wind…biotic god...What was I saying?...I'm…tired," He stood and looked up at them, actually seeing them for the first time. "Maybe you're right, nap first… destroy the universe later."

"What a waste of time." Grunt grumbled.

"You gotta help the little guys, Grunt." She smiled and opened the door to the next room.

Wasea stood at the far end of the room, agitation plain to see. "Everything has gone to hell since we smuggled that filthy creature off world… first that Justicar, and now you." She tossed the datapad on the desk as she circled it, "At least I can take pleasure in turning your head into a _PULPY MASS!"_ She shouted and launched a canister of red sand at the group. Shepard shouldered Garrus out of the way hard, who was in the direct trajectory, and was hit full in the face by it. She stumbled back coughing as Garrus pulled her back into cover.

"Shepard, are you alright?" He was nearly frantic, he'd been too slow and she'd suffered for it. Her skin began to glow orange. She shook her head and rubbed her now bloodshot eyes with her gloves.

"Ugh… It burns." The whites of her eyes went completely red as her body was absorbed by the orange glow. She groaned as she felt her implants burning within her, her eyes slammed shut against the pain. But after a moment, it was gone. She felt unstoppable. She pushed Garrus' worried hands away and stood, staring down Wasea at the other side of the room. She side stepped her stasis field and Wasea became enraged, standing across from Shepard. Shepard motioned for her to advance, a grin playing on her lips. Wasea sneered at her and charged, Shepard rushed forward as well in a game of chicken, her cybernetic implants kicking into high gear to match speed and velocity. Her fist connected with Wasea's chin, throwing her back against the wall. She raised her hand and brought it down into her face, bashing her skull in two hits. Her body trembled, the asari that had approached caught a glimpse of her and backed off immediately, they knew better.

Garrus ran up behind her, but paused a few feet away, she looked like she was on fire. An orange glow rippled around her and her heart was slamming hard and fast in her chest, her breathing was shallow. Grunt ran up and slapped her on the back, burning his hand but cheering all the same of how incredible that was to see.

"Garrus," she moved away from the destroyed corpse, "Can you please read the datapad? I think I'd short it if I touched it."

He nodded and read the ship name out to them. He looked over at her, he could see wires tracing under her skin like veins, glowing red hot. The whites of her eyes still burned red, her iris' glowing orange, she looked terrifying.

"Maybe we should hang around here for a bit…" Garrus began and was immediately shot down.

"No, we have to get back, we've wasted enough time already. I'll be damned if I let someone die because I took too long." She turned on her heel and took a step forward, her body launching much farther than she obviously intended. She fell to her knees and doubled over, her head hanging low as she braced herself on all fours. "Oh that was a bad idea…"

Garrus and Grunt rushed over to her, she held up a hand to keep them at bay. Her limbs were shaking, she took slow, deep breaths, Garrus heard her heart beating irregularly.

"C'mon liver… Do your job." She growled at her own body. She shook violently then retched. "Ugh… this is why I don't do drugs. There's no off button." She stood and stumbled a few feet, trying to right herself, to keep pushing forward. Garrus had to catch her to keep her from falling onto another crate. Her skin was burning up, even through her armor, her body covered in a sheen of sweat as her heart pounded, the glowing wires pulsing with each beat.

"Grunt, take the commander back to the ship and get Dr. Chakwas to look at her. I'll deliver the data-pad." He instructed, walking off before she had the chance to protest.

"I see," Samara smiled, "you must care for your commander a great deal. I shall be honored to work for one who commands such loyalty. But I must swear myself into her service, so I am never forced to choose between her orders and my code."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind that, but she is not in a fit state right now."

"Not surprising, that red sand was top quality stuff, it would knock even routine users on their ass, and that's with the biotic outlet. Let's hope your doc is a good one." Anaya said shaking her head.

He handed over the information about the murder to Anaya, as well as the evidence against Pitne For. Anaya's comment had him more worried than he was before. Could this kill her?

"Give the commander my thanks; she did some impressive work down here." Anaya said her farewells to the Justicar as she followed Garrus back to the ship.

As they rode the elevator up, Samara looked Garrus over.

"I'm sure she will be fine." She said softly. Garrus turned to her, "Yes, your concern is that obvious. She is lucky to have you."

"Oh, we aren't… ah…" Garrus stumbled to find the words.

"My apologies," Samara nodded her head with a small smirk. "I will remain silent, you have my word."

The doors opened and Samara left him in the elevator. He shook his head and headed in to see her in the medbay. Chakwas and Mordin were working frantically over her, tubes going into her veins, fluids flowing in rapidly. The heart monitor beeped erratically. He could still see the veins beneath her skin glowing, rapidly pulsing with her heart. Garrus' heart sank, this was entirely his fault. He paced the room until he was kicked out for stressing out the doctor. He went into the battery, and resumed his frantic pacing. His terminal beeped; a message from the doctor. He didn't even read it, he went straight to medbay.

"Really, Garrus you're in such a fuss." The doctor shook her head. "If you had read my message you would know what I'm about to say. She's fine, though it was good that you got her to me when you did, I don't know how much longer she could have held on. Then again, the commander has done amazing things before."

Garrus saw her propped up against the pillows, an eyebrow quirked at him. Her skin was pale, a slight orange glow remained, she had bruises under her eyes but the smile was on her face as she looked at him.

"I make a living off the impossible, remember?" She laughed weakly, "C'mon Garrus, I'm hurt you would think otherwise."

He let out a sigh, "Why did you do that, Shepard? Why throw yourself in front of me?"

"Well, as far as I know, red sand is made for asari. Which means it's levo-amino based. Which means if it hit you, my little dextro-amino, you'd have died immediately." Her smile fell, "That's why she targeted you."_ And why I had to bash in her fucking skull._ "Nobody hurts one of mine."

He heard the change in her tone and it angered him. She shouldn't have to protect him. He shook his head, walking over to the bed.

"You are too reckless. You're going to… what's that old earth saying? Ah, you're going to give me grey hairs." He rested a hip against the edge of the bed.

She laughed, "It's almost worth it to see a Turian with hair."

Samara smiled at the two from the window, she had gone to swear her oath to the commander, but it could wait. There was something happening in that room that even the code couldn't make her interrupt, though neither of them knew what was happening.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as she was better, she assembled the crew and introduced Samara, who then swore her oath for all to see. She couldn't help but blush and smiled at the asari, thanking her. She loaded up Garrus and Grunt and went to rescue Tali.

Shepard hugged Tali tightly, she was so worried. They'd fought hordes of geth to get to her, she was overjoyed that she was still in one piece. They said a fond farewell to Kal'Reegar before loading her back up on the Normandy.

"Armeture class geth were a lot more fun in the Mako." She sighed, stepping out of the elevator onto the crew deck.

"Yes, but it was just as deadly for us with you driving." Tali quipped before pressing the button to close the door of the elevator as Shepard stuck out her tongue, riding down to engineering.

Shepard turned and went to go and check on Thane, she'd never met a drell before, and she was very curious.

Garrus typed furiously into his console, his brow furrowed and his mandibles clicking angrily. He'd heard her go into Thane's room nearly half an hour ago. He'd been hoping she was coming down to see him, not the new assassin. The door to Thane's room slid open, he heard her laughing as her footsteps became louder. The door to the battery opened behind him, he didn't look up from his console.

"Hey, Garrus, you busy?" She asked, sitting down on the crates like she had nearly every day.

He turned to face her, he didn't understand why he was so angry. "Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations." He felt horrible when the stunned look crossed her face, immediately wanting to retract his sentence.

"Oh, sorry. Sure I'll come back later." She smiled and stood to leave. He shook his head.

"It shouldn't take me too long, if you wanted to wait." He back-pedaled. He didn't want her to go, it was so rare she had a moment to just sit and talk, he was just mad she'd used most of it to talk to Krios.

"Sure, I'll meet you in the mess? I'm trying out a movie night idea, help take down the stress level a few notches. Tonight its Fleet and Flotilla, Tali said its her favorite. Figured after Haestrom she could use a movie night." She left after he nodded consent.

He stared blankly at his monitor after she'd left, the hell was wrong with him? So what if she wanted to talk to other men, it wasn't like she belonged to him or anything. But that was it, he thought to himself, he wanted her to belong to him. He clenched the edge of the railing. Since when? When did he stop seeing her as his commanding officer and start seeing her in a romantic light?

He remembered the way she'd looked at him when she came to rescue some stranger named Archangel, and had seen him instead. She looked genuinely happy, but almost in a desperate way. Had she really missed him? Did he miss the way his heart pounded when he saw her, alive? He thought back, he couldn't place the exact moment, but he'd been attracted to the commander for a long time. Even back at c-sec watching her exploits, he realized, he admired her in more ways than just 'she's an outstanding soldier'. He really was a terrible Turian.

He went to join her in the mess and saw her joining her crew to watch the movie, only to see it interrupted by some sort of documentary.

_"The great Commander Shepard, when we hear the name we think of a backwater colonist who has raised herself from the ashes of tragedy to become the Spectre you all know and love. But this reporter has uncovered a shocking secret regarding this so-called hero's rise to power. A video of the attack on Mindoir shows a completely different story than the lie we were fed by both the Alliance, and the council. The following video documents the attack and subsequent rescue of the colony known as Mindoir. This video contains many graphic scenes." _

He saw her tense as the story began to unfold. He went to stand behind her and Tali in the back row. The scene started as a home video, her and two other girls standing with horse-like creatures, washing their ink black scales. She looked so young, and she was wearing a very tight shirt and tattered shorts. The grass around them was teal, the skies a magnificent purple, reflecting in the water of the stream beside them. She was singing to the animal beside her, its eyes closed contentedly. Her voice was beautiful.

"Nathan…" she said sadly as the camera man laughed on the film, "you and that damn camera."

Tali grabbed her hand and held it tightly, Shepard returned the gesture but didn't look away.

She looked so happy too, surrounded by friends, then a large shadow passed above them and the animals spooked. Only the one she was holding didn't run as winds picked up, the other girls were screaming, hiding behind her as they watched a Batarian ship land and lay siege to their homes. You could hear the sobs and screams coming from beside the camera as it filmed the town burning, the image shaking. Then, from the right of the camera, Shepard went charging forward bareback on one of the creatures, directly towards the town.

"Arri!" The cameraman shouted, the image flailing as he managed to catch a creature of his own to follow her into town, but it was unruly and kicked him off to run, the feed cut out when he hit the ground. A new feed took its place, security camera's from all over the city, following her like a movie, they showed her charging in on the creature, dismounting and slapping the animal's hind end, forcing it to flee to safety. She struggled her way through the smoke, hiding behind walls from the gunfire as she searched the town. She scrambled over to a fallen Batarian, stripping him of his weapons and ammunition. She worked her way through the city, finding pockets of citizens and taking them all to a small underground bunker, what looked like a storm cellar. She was grabbed from behind and spun on the Batarian without hesitation, his blood spraying from his throat all over her shoulder from where her knife gashed his throat.

Garrus was impressed, she couldn't have been more than sixteen and she was already putting others before herself without a second thought, not to mention her ability to react in a warzone. She was incredible. He looked over at her, her body was shaking. He braced a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, unable to look away as her memories were played on the large screen. She flinched inwardly with the sounds of the next two gunshots, as if she herself had been hit; they seemed to ring out a bit louder than the rest.

They all heard her scream as a man and woman darted across the street and were gunned down by Batarians. She ran over to their lifeless forms.

"MOM! DAD!" She wailed as she patted them, urging them to rise and run. "Please…"

"How 'bout this one, Balak?" A Batarian gestured to her as she wept over their corpses.

A second Batarian walked up behind her and paced around her, turning her chin to face him. Her eyes were defiant, but shone wet with tears and grief, her face had Batarian blood splattered against it, she bared her teeth at the man. "I think she'd sell for a nice price on Illium, so long as she is obedient. Tie her up and load her onto the ship." He commanded before walking off.

Garrus jolted. Balak. He remembered the story she'd told him but she never went this far into detail. That he was the man who'd killed her parents. He'd encountered Balak's boss Kron as Archangel, recognizing the name as he disrupted his business. He made sure to kill the creature slowly, made sure he suffered for what he had done to her. But he never knew it was this.

One of the batarian's grabbed her and pulled her up by her hair, she swung out and hit him in the stomach with the butt of the gun before loading him with clips. She crouched back by her mother and father, sitting like a sentinel to protect them. A second Batarian advanced and she gunned him down as well, she killed each of them until she ran out of ammunition, shot several times, and was grabbed and drug away kicking and screaming. They tossed her in the middle of a group, a Batarian shouted something and they all rushed at her, kicking her, cutting her, abusing her any way they could.

It went on for too long. The entire crew was huddled together for comfort, but at this part Shepard was rigid, her posture as defiant as the one on screen even as her life was being taken from her.

They forced her to kneel and one gripped her hair, holding a knife to her throat. Blood traced down her shoulder, a graze on her stomach, another on her arm. They were shouting obscenities, commanding her to give up or die. He barely managed to finish his sentence before a Turian landed on top of him, killing him with the impact. As the Batarian fell, the blade slid across her throat from her ear to the nape of her neck, it trickled blood but not cutting deep enough to kill her. She turned, stunned and looked up at the Turian, who was nearly unrecognizable until she said his name.

"Nihlus." Her voice was so sad but Garrus was shocked, he looked at her and saw her place her hand against where the scar on her throat used to be, tears welling in her eyes. She'd known Nihlus from before her military career, before the first mission on the Normandy? But what was he even doing there? He'd always heard the Alliance saved the colony. As if on cue, a man in a high ranking alliance uniform came and stood beside her and Nihlus took off, joining the flood of alliance marines in sweeping the Batarians form the town.

"It's alright, you're safe now." The voice said, he removed his hat and everyone immediately recognized Anderson.

A mutual gasp resonated from the room.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and she darted away from him, falling back, her eyes wide. She turned and rushed back over to her parents, scrambling after them. Her back and arms showed hundreds of cuts and bruises from the way she had been beaten, blood both human and Batarian covered her, but she didn't seem to feel it and she scooped her parents into her arms.

Anderson followed her over to her parents and knelt down beside her, easing her away from her parents slightly, she was shaking her head 'no'. They couldn't hear what was said, and the camera angle didn't show their lips, but whatever he said must have been right because she suddenly threw her arms around his neck and began to sob into his shoulder. In the corner of the screen, you could see other survivors being walked out of the storm shelter she had hidden them in, all weeping and combing the city for lost friends and loved ones. Nihlus walked back up from the crowd of survivors and crouched beside her, saying something to Anderson. She looked up from his shoulder and shocked Nihlus by hugging him as well, he motioned like he was going to push her away, but wound up comforting her instead. The screen cut back to Al Jilani.

_ "So we are left with the question, did she truly earn her place? Was the death of beloved Spetre Nihlus her fault? And how qualified is Anderson to lead humanity, is it possible he was selected solely for his ties to the Commander? The commander was unavailable to comment, or perhaps she was merely unwilling. This has been a Westerlund News report; I'm Khalisah bint Sinan Al-Jilani." _

He could feel her tremble as the feed cut to the movie they had all originally sat down to watch. No one moved until Kelly Chambers turned to look at the commander. Then they all turned to look at her. She stared blankly at the screen, her eyes distant, her breathing ragged. She shook her head as Garrus squeezed her shoulder, then let go.

"Well, that was a roller coaster." She smiled at her crew and they all looked at each other uneasy, she let out a weak laugh and wiped her face with her sleeve.

"Commander…" Chambers began, stopping when she held up her hand.

"It's alright guys. I won't hold it against you if you believe this…report, but I hope you'll hear me out." Her eyes lowered as she collected herself, "Nihlus saved my life, it eats away at me every day that I couldn't be there to save him and yes it was a large driving force behind me hunting Saren so ruthlessly. Admiral Hackett nominated me for Spetre; Nihlus was just selected by the council to oversee it, they had no idea. " She touched where the scar used to be on her neck, "And not a whole lot of people know this but Anderson took me in when I had nowhere else to go. My family was killed, most of my friends were taken, the entire city seeped memories that were too much for me to handle, so of course I left." She crossed her arms, "I've busted my ass to get to where I am today, and not a single merit or commendation was because of Anderson or Nihlus. I-"

"Shut up, Commander." Joker interrupted, "None of us believe this crap, we just want to make sure you are ok after having to relive it."

She blinked at them, "Seriously?"

"Of course, Commander," Dr. Chakwas added, "You are our rock, we know how capable you are, we have all seen it for ourselves." The crew nodded in agreement.

"You have made some of the most difficult choices anyone has ever had to, but you still have the capacity to comfort and console others." Chambers said gently, "You have remarkable will."

"A battle master who is untested is unworthy, you proved yourself in fire and battle, as any true Krogan would." Grunt stated matter-of-factly.

Garrus put a hand on her shoulder, "We are all behind you 100%, don't ever doubt that."

She couldn't help but tear up, she wiped them away and thanked her crew. "Next time we hit the citadel, drinks are on me." Everyone cheered for her, "Now if you will excuse me, I have a few phone calls to make." She gestured to Garrus to follow her.

A mutual 'oooooh' went though he room as she left, the crew beginning to chatter amongst themselves. Garrus followed at her heels, riding up the elevator with her. As soon as the doors shut and the elevator began its ascent, she turned and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his chest. He was only stunned for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her.

"Shepard?" He asked gently, perfectly content with holding her but confused as to her urgency for it.

"Sorry," She went to pull away but he held onto her, she relaxed again, "Please stay with me."

His heart pounded, "What?"

"That video… stirred up a lot. I know I'm going to have nightmares but… I would like to have someone with me." He could tell she was uncomfortable asking for help.

"Of course." He said before thinking. The last time he stayed in her room he nearly pinned her to the bed, what was he thinking agreeing to do it again? "I'll go get my stuff and head back up, alright?" He let her go, she nodded, and he rode the elevator back down.

When he came back up Thane was leaving her room, Garrus' temper flared as he stared down the drell. Thane ignored him completely and got into the elevator, the door sliding shut without a word. Who the hell did he think he was? Showing up in Shepard's cabin like he was a friend. Garrus seethed as he walked through the door, he saw her sitting on the couch, leaning forward and bracing her arms against her knees, her eyes distant. She didn't seem to notice his return.

"Shepard." She jumped when he spoke, but as soon as she noticed it was him she smiled softly.

"Hey, Garrus, I know you have a lot of work to do, but I—"

"What did Krios want?" He interrupted. She blinked at him confused, "I ran into him in the hall, what did he want?"

"How is that your business?" She retorted, disapproving of his tone.

"Did you want _me_ to stay, or just someone?" Her eyes flew open, he immediately regretted speaking.

"How dare you." She glared at him, "I take the chance and ask you for help and you turn around and throw it in my face? Do you think I'm that frivolous? What do you even care, are you jealous or something?" She snapped.

Garrus sneered, that's exactly what it was. "No. I just don't like him intruding on you…"

She saw his retreat, her tone softened, "Garrus, listen. You've been with me from the beginning, but Krios…has lost family." She sighed, staying vague to protect Krios' privacy, "He stopped by to make sure I was alright, and gave me some advice, that's all. Relax."

She stood and walked over to her dresser, grabbing clothes and heading into the bathroom. He heard the shift of clothes and her brushing her teeth as he looked around the room. What was wrong with him? Even in his pursuit of previous women he'd never shown jealousy, he merely became aloof, it was part of his allure, or so he was told. But something crawled under his skin when Krios looked at her, the way he'd circled her, eyeing her over, it made him furious. He looked at the fish tank, watching them swim contently around. He sat on the bed and let out a sigh, his bag dropping beside him.

She stared at herself in the mirror, pushing down memories of Mindoir, of Nihlus and Anderson saving her life. She hoped they wouldn't posthumously shame Nihlus, and prayed Anderson wasn't getting any blowback from it. She had emailed him, but it was late at the citadel so she would have to wait until morning. She'd also sent a rather well put together email to Westerlund news, asking where they obtained a disclaimer to use her footage, as well as where they'd obtained it.

_Could Nathan be alive? _She almost didn't dare to hope. She'd kept tabs on the Batarian ring but after Mindoir that unit disbanded. She tried tracking individual members but it was too much for one person. She'd have to see if her little information broker would have anything for her.

And then there was Garrus. What had gotten into him lately? He questioned most of her major decisions, privately thank the spirits, but it still hurt. He said he didn't look at her differently, but looking in his eyes earlier, she knew he did. She couldn't place the look, it wasn't bad, she didn't think. She let out a long sigh. She finished washing her face and brushing her teeth, and took a deep breath. She hoped Garrus would forgive her for lying. Her nightmares were always about Mindoir, or Akuze, but she'd slept so well with him there the other night, with no nightmares, she just wanted him near her, and she was being a bit selfish. She'd donned her shorts and baggy tank and walked out of the room.

Garrus was lying on the bed, his head propped up on a pillow as he stared up at the stars. Her heart pounded and heat crept into her face, her breath caught in her throat. He was wearing nothing but loose pajama bottoms, his chest plates completely exposed. She tried to keep herself from tracing the lines of his chest and stomach, the powerful curves of his shoulders and arms, the way the angle of his plates guided the eyes downward… but she couldn't, her eyes wandered shamelessly over his sleeping form.

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…_ she reproved herself as she slipped under the covers next to him.

Garrus knew it was a dirty trick. But, now that he knew he was interested in the commander, he had to know if the commander was interested in him. And as he lay there pretending to sleep, he felt her eyes roaming over him, he fought the urge to grin. She was. She curled up under the sheets, snuggling into her pillow, her hair loose about her, emitting her scent.

"Sorry for questioning you, Shepard." He said softly, he felt her jump beside him. "I'm just overprotective. That's all."

"It's alright Garrus. Now, let's get some sleep." He could hear her heart fluttering, her body was radiating warmth. He crawled under the covers with her, her room still too cold for his tastes. He almost hated how the blankets smelled, the way little tendrils of her scent crept up his nose. But at the same time, he kind of loved it. But the longer he smelled it, the harder it was to suppress his urge to run his talons through her long hair, to bury his face into her soft neck, to make her his. He closed his eyes hard, _what are you thinking Vakarian?_ He scolded himself, trying to stay as still as possible. This was a dangerous situation, one that could erupt any moment. Besides, she had enough to worry about without having a Turian sniffing after her.

He took long, slow breaths as he stared up at the stars above them. Shepard eventually fell asleep, her breathing softened, her heart taking on a lazy pace. A nebula washed the room in a soft green light as they passed beneath it. He watched the colors play off the celestial gases as he laid there awake. She turned in her sleep, facing him now, her hair covering her pillow. He couldn't help but look at her. Her features were soft, a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, the colors of the nebula dancing across her face and neck, his heart melted. _This is more than desire._ The thought crept unbidden into the forefront of his mind. He let out a long sigh.

He remembered the day they'd recovered her from Akuze. Her eyes were hollow and sunken, she looked half starved. Her skin was red from baking in the sun, she had bandages everywhere. Cameras and microphones dogged her everywhere, but she didn't, or couldn't, speak. She just stared ahead. Aside from the report given by the military, no one knew what happened; just that everyone was dead and she'd survived two weeks on her own on a harsh planet. He'd always wondered what could have happened, what someone would have to see to give them that look. Then he lost his squad… who he swore to protect… and it all became clear. But now she was healthy, lithe and practically radiating confidence in everything she did. Could he get to that? Stop being haunted that way? _Once I kill Sidonis…_ He gritted his teeth.

She made a sad noise, her brow furrowed and the smile left her. _She must be having a nightmare._ He saw her tense; a tear rolled down her cheek and soaked into the pillow, her breathing became shallow.

"Nihlus…" she whispered and her face twisted in anguish. He couldn't stand that look. Before he knew what he was doing he turned to face her, reaching his arms out and pulling her against him. He felt her struggle feebly in her sleep, his actions adding themselves to her nightmare. He held her head against him with one hand, the other crept around her waist to pull her close, she felt so small against him, none of her armor in the way. He pressed his cheek to her hair and held her until her breathing slowed back to its steady rhythm as the nightmare subsided and she fell back into a blissful sleep.

Her legs moved to intertwine with his, her subconscious trying to make her sleeping form comfortable. But her subconscious had no idea what it was doing to Garrus. Her legs intertwined with his and she snuggled up against his now rigid form. He clenched his teeth, trying hard to ignore how thin her clothing was, or how she felt pressed this intimately against him. He forced himself to think of calibrations he'd done today, going through the motions in his mind. He repeated the same line of code over and over in his head until his heart stopped slamming in his chest, the heat burning under his plates cooled, and he was able to relax. He continued repeating the same line over and over until eventually he drifted to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

What was she laying on? She half wondered as she woke up. She tried to stretch, but her arms met resistance. Her eyes fluttered open to reveal Garrus, still asleep beneath her, his arms wrapped around her. How did she wind up on top of him? Her eyes shot open. _Oh shit oh shit oh shit_

"Commander!" Joker shouted over the intercom, startling Garrus awake. He pivoted and tossed her easily onto her back, pinning her protectively beneath him as his half asleep self tried to find the potential threat.

"Yes, Joker?" She said breathily, he'd flipped her easily, and the way she was pinned beneath him…the way her body was reacting. She saw him blink as the realization dawned, he backed off immediately, embarrassed.

"Jeez, commander this is the fifth time I've called! The illusive man is on the phone. He says it's urgent."

"It better be." She growled and stood up, throwing a pair of jeans over her shorts. "I'll be down in a minute." She shrugged into her N7 hoddie, zipping it up. She yawned widely and waved to Garrus, feeding her fish before skirting out as quickly as possible. She tried to slow the way her heart slammed in her chest, the heat the flooded her, but she couldn't. She punched the CIC and rode the elevator down, coming her fingers through her long and now tangled hair as she bounced on her heels.

Garrus sat at the edge of the bed, his eyes wide, staring at the fish. How did she wind up on top of him? He rubbed his head with his hand. He'd remembered how they'd fallen asleep….did he pull her there? He practically had her in a vice grip, did she wake up before him? He panicked, how long had she been awake before him? That would certainly explain why she flew out of there in such a hurry. He shook his head. Better go apologize.

He stood and looked back at the bed, intending to straighten the sheets. The image of her flashed in his mind. Her cheeks flush, her hair fanned out around her, her arms over her head, her shirt riding up to expose her smooth muscled stomach…His mandibles twitched. _Damnit Shepard. _He growled audibly before throwing his regular clothing on and heading back to the gunnery. He needed to clear his thoughts. He stopped in the armory to adjust his rifle and overheard Shepard yelling. He set his gun down and walked to the door to listen.

"The hell do you mean you 'intercepted'? The Turians need to know their ship was damaged! There could be soldiers still alive!"

"No, there wouldn't. The ship has been floating dead for too long. Besides, if the Collectors could take out a ship like the Normandy, what do you think they'd do to a regular cruiser?"  
>She tensed. "So, why should I care?"<p>

"Because you want to survive the jump to the omega four relay." He began.

"Commander, on a hunch I had EDI compare the signature on this ship to the one on the original Normandy…it's the same ship." Joker sounded skeptical.

"The same ship dogging me for two years? This can't be a coincidence. Everyone, be ready."

They made their way through the vessel, coming to several disturbing realizations. She stopped by the pile of weapons, grabbing a new Sniper for Garrus, who she'd left ashore. She needed some time to breathe, to figure out what she was getting herself into. They reached the panel and uploaded EDI.

"There is no way the illusive man would have thought this distress call was genuine, this was a trap." EDI said after they'd killed of the monstrosities that attacked them.

"That son of a…. UGH. EDI, get us the hell out of here. I need to talk to the illusive man." She growled.

"At once."

Garrus hated being left behind. He paced the battery, unable to focus. She was down there, in the ship that sent the Normandy to the Spirits and took her from him. He made himself shake his head. He couldn't go back to that day. Her memorial was…too much, for all of them.

He heard the bay open, the floor vibrating with it. He immediately went down, only to have the landing party storm into the elevator and head back up to the CIC. He wanted to ask how it went but her look told him to stay silent. Her eyes were sharp and she looked furious. She slid past the doors before they were done opening and pivoted into the comm. room. Garrus looked at Grunt and Kasumi. They both just shook their heads and went to eves drop. He followed close behind.

"I DON'T CARE!" She shouted at the illusive man. "That seems to be a core concept you aren't getting about me! I will NEVER put ANY of mine at risk no matter HOW valuable some information might be! It disgusts me that the thought never crossed your mind. "

"It was our only opportunity, and I had faith you could handle it. Be rational Shepard. Besides, we got what we wan-"

She cut him off with a sharp laugh, "Faith? You had FAITH we would survive? Is FAITH going to stop a bullet, or how about, can it replace one of my squad? Can I wish them back and get them so long as I have faith!? How could you have spent so much on bringing me back just to not listen to a damn word I'm saying or get anything about me?"

"Commander you aren't seeing the importance of this mission. I suggest you tell your squad I did not risk their lives needlessly-"

"I DON'T CARE you sadistic bastard! Forward your information to EDI, she has more of a soul than you and I'd rather hear it from her."

They heard her stomp off of the table towards the door, they all scattered. It was fun to watch a Krogan try and tip-toe. She came out of the room red in the face, grinding her teeth.

"That was…Interesting." He said with a grin. He raised his hands. "Sorry."

She pushed past him and back out to the CIC. Her terminal was blinking. She had so many emails. She shook her head and sighed, shaking off the agitation. She needed to focus. She sent a quick email to check in on Liara, they weren't too far from Illium with the Normandy's drive core, but she wanted to be ready if needed. She also threw in a last minute PS about Nathan before moving to a rather long letter of apology from Westerlund news.

…._blah blah…Ms. Al Jilani acted on her own…blah blah…does not support the views of …. Blah blah blah… unknown sources….blah…loss of credibility. _That part made her grin. _Sincerest apology…blah blah. _She closed the letter. Anderson had replied, he explained that he had been questioned by the Council for withholding the information, but that everyone was more curious than anything. She sighed, Nihlus and Anderson were safe. She smiled, this time genuine. Kasumi buzzed her that she had the perfect plan for Bekenstein. It was a gala, she shuddered. She preferred a party with guns and combat boots.

"Part of me is all about this whole 'undercover' thing, the other part is more 'ew heels'." She said looking down at herself. Kasumi had gone all out, full length dress, hair curled, and makeup. Kasumi gave her one last look over before nodding and leading her down to the shuttle, where the entire crew was waiting. Cat calls flowed forth.

"Oh shut up." She rolled her eyes at them before lifting the slit in her dress enough for them to see her handgun. "Or else." They all just whistled harder.

Garrus was typing frantically on his data-pad, he was getting so close to Sidonis. Someone on the Citadel…and then he rounded the corner. His eyes went wide, he froze…all the air rushed from his lungs. She was stunning. Her auburn hair flowed down to her waist in lazy curls, her aquamarine eyes accentuated by a necklace and bracelet set of amazonite. Her eyes were sultry with her make-up, her lips were a deep blush… and that dress…. That evil dress.

It was ivory in color, the neck scooping low across her chest, leaving ample glimpses of cleavage and making her tanned skin glow. It flowed in a languid motion to the floor where it pooled around her feet. That would have been enough, but a tantalizing slit ran up the side of her leg to just below her hip. So very close. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

Kasumi noticed and grinned at him, snapping him out of it. On the urging of the crew, she did a spin, rolling her eyes along with it. Garrus wished she hadn't. The back of the dress fell in a cowl to the nape of her back, exposing the skin almost completely; he could almost see the ripple of muscle underneath as she moved. And then her scent hit him, it was seductive. Combined with her outfit it made him think of luxury dinner parties followed by hot sex. He gritted his teeth and waved at her before heading towards the elevator. He couldn't be near her, he knew that for a fact.

Her face fell, she was hoping to get his opinion. Did she really look 'smokin hot' like everyone was saying? She sighed and Kasumi immediately piped up, shouting at Garrus to come back. She wasn't the most subtle of creatures. He looked resistant but, having been called out, he turned and made his way back to the group. He struggled to keep his voice calm, his demeanor relaxed, while very muscle in him, every fiber of his being wanted to take her upstairs and rip that evil dress off of her and make her scent fulfill its promise. His teeth were clenched.

"Shepard, need me for something?" He tried to keep his tone level without sounding cold.

"Tell her how pretty she is!" Kasumi piped up, he fought the urge to shoot her a glare.

"She's not pretty." He loved how everyone glared at him, except her, she quirked an eyebrow, her look turning suspicious but playful, that look did too much for him. "She's stunning." He gave her a small smile, her eyes lit up, a color flushing her face beneath the make up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of some calibrations." He said quickly. He wanted to get the hell out of that room before he did something incredibly stupid. He got in the elevator and punched the button a little too hard.

"Hey guys! Kasumi patched us in!" Joker shouted in the mess. Garrus wandered over to see what all the fuss was about. Up on the large screen she had bought for movie night, the same screen which had haunted them all the night before, played the "Hock Heist".

Everyone shuddered at the sight of Saren's golden form; most of them having strong memories of the man himself. He caught the look of distaste on her face, it only flashed for a moment, but the hatred was intense. He knew she was thinking about Nihlus.

Once inside, the view became aerial, as Kasumi stuck to the rafters to stay out of the way of the flood of guests attending, feeding live audio and visual to the crew watching. Shepard stood out in the crowd, she flowed like water between people, sizing up her target across the room. The sunlight hit her hair, lit the warmth of her skin, made her dress glow and the stones about her neck and wrist sparkle. Men and women were turning their heads to watch her pass.

She didn't honestly mind playing dress-up. She actually kind of liked the thrill of not knowing when you need to toss your skirt up and draw your side arm. Though she had to admit the weight of it pressed against her thigh was very comforting. These people were all wolves in sheep's clothing. They openly admitted to their activities, but they all greeted her with smiles and pleasant faces. She smiled gently back at them all, dipping her head in acknowledgement before making her way out to the back patio so she could converse with Kasumi and not be overheard.

The wind tugged at the lazy curls of her hair, ruffling her dress as she stared out over the bay. She touched her ear and opened the comm. to Kasumi. "Alright, I'm in. Now what?"

While they went over the game plan to crack the vault, she turned, leaning up against the railing and looking in to follow where Kasumi was directing her. Garrus couldn't stop staring at her. The way the light played off the slight bits of red and blonde in her hair, it shone a radiant copper. She was ethereal, she looked like she belonged in that mansion in that dress just as much as she belonged in combat zones and heavy armor. The determined look in her eyes was the only thing that didn't look soft about her. She nodded her head, causing the lazy curls to bob before she set out back into the crowd. It was amazing to see her walk on those high, slender heels. He loved how her legs looked.

They made it to the security room, crouching low behind a wall to take out the two guards. She had her back flat against the wall, her leg almost completely exposed with the clip and holster strapped to her leg. It was the sexiest thing Garrus had ever seen. Now all they needed was a voice sample and DNA. Everyone was leaning forward in their seats, it was like a live action spy thriller; someone had even made popcorn.

"Is this a cartoon starring a Krogan?" Shepard made her way over to the TV, "It's just sitting there…shooting things. Kinda reminds me of Grunt." She laughed, Grunt snorted in approval.

"I heard that bastard Archangel was killed on Omega." Kasumi passed a gossiping crowd as they left the security room, Shepard seemed to hear it too and made her way over as the group continued. "They never found his body."

"Good. He'd better be dead. That bastard threw off my shipments for months, I hope it was slow." A woman growled, Joker gently punched Garrus in the shoulder to be sure he didn't break his hand, several other people shot him looks and he grinned.

"It was." Shepard walked up, crossing her arms when she was a few feet away and sinking back on her hip, she looked like the in control commander as she looked down her nose at them. "I made sure of it."

"What? You killed Archangel?" The group sounded unbelieving.

"He got in my way." She said simply with a shrug, "He suffered, don't worry."

One of the men walked over to her and took her hand, "And who are you, beautiful?"

"Alison Gunn. I'm an arms dealer." She smiled at them, "What are your names? Perhaps, now that the hassle is dealt with," They chuckled, "We can do business."

She wrapped up the conversation and pushed on, radioing to Kasumi to note their names to be arrested later for their criminal activities and conspiring to murder along with her omni-tools recorded confession. Garrus laughed out loud, she was defending him and taking revenge for him. She approached the host of the party.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Gunn." Donovan spoke as he kissed her knuckles. She batted her eyelashes and gave him a soft smile.

"Actually, it's _Ms. _Gunn. And the pleasure is mine." Her tone was sultry as she looked up at him through her eyelashes. "This is a wonderful party, makes it worth the trip from the Terminus."

He made a long speech, about them being the 'cleaners' of the galaxy. _Yeah…I'd like to clean your clock right here asshole, you and every other asshole here. _She growled inside while forcing herself to appear desirable and intrigued, smiling and toasting the wine glass she had been handed when appropriate. She pretended to take a sip, the liquid smelled sour. Kasumi congratulated her in her ear, she looked for an opportunity to leave, but it wasn't presented and Hock only pressed forward.

"I'm glad you could make it, hiding a gem like you so far in the Terminus should be a crime." He stepped closer to her. She laughed softly.

"Mr. Hock you flatter me." She batted her eyelashes, "All of these women are glowering at me, I fear I have stolen too much of your time and made you a poor host."

He shook his head and frowned, "Nonsense, allow me to give you the grand tour." He hooked her arm in his and took her on a tour around the premises. She forced herself to smile, to stay graceful, but inside she was panicked. How the hell was she going to get him away so they could rob him blind? She cursed Kasumi.

Hock opened the door to his bedroom. She ground her teeth but smiled, he assured her it was just a tour. He released her arm as they entered the room, guiding her to a window, away from his files.

"Garrus, are you alright?" Samara asked gently, keeping her tone soft enough so no one could hear. He blinked and looked over to her. "You are growling at the television." He reprimanded himself as Samara looked at him strangely.

Swords caught her eye. She spoke with him at the window for a moment before discreetly 'appreciating' the items, while grabbing skin cells. Kasumi snuck around and grabbed some as well. She walked over to the swords and he followed her. She cursed inwardly, time to fake stupidity.

"Oh my! I haven't seen a sword in a very long time!" She exclaimed, reaching up and touching them, grabbing skin cells of the handle before he flinched forward, she released it and apologized. "Sorry, I guess I got too excited." She laughed, "I grew up with swords."

"Really? Were you trained with them?" He was very interested, and very close.

"Yes, I was actually." Her words were genuine, everyone seemed surprised. "My father, rest his soul."

"I'm sorry, my dear, I did not mean to upset you." He placed a hand on her shoulder, "What happened?"

She looked him dead in the eye, her own were cold, "He kept too many secrets from me." Hock visibly flinched. "I don't like secrets, Mr. Hock, and I don't play games."

"I have no secrets or games I am playing with you, Ms. Gunn. I assure you." He moved in to kiss her. She held up a hand and pressed it against his chest.

"Please, Mr. Hock. Be civil. I am no whore for you to buy off or drag into your room and have your way." She skirted around him and made for the door.

"I have given you the wrong impression, you see, you are simply captivating and I was merely swept away by your presence. Your physical appearance is only a distraction from your true self." Hock gently grasped her wrist to stop her. She turned to him and smiled softly.

"You and I both know how impossible that is, Mr. Hock. We should be getting back to the party, I've taken too much of your time." She gently removed her hand from his grasp, "We should do…business…some time, Mr. Hock." She nodded her head, he nodded his and reluctantly let her go from the room. Kasumi's camera showed him sit down on the couch as she left, his head in his hands.

They found their way back to the vault, Kasumi set to unlocking it while Shepard locked eyes with their golden statue. She forced herself to take a deep breath, Saren was indoctrinated, it wasn't him, it was what he represented; Nihlus' death, his treacherous death. But it was the Reapers, it had always been them. She ground her teeth. Kasumi began to flood her with compliments.

"And the way you handled Hock, got an excellent sample then broke his little black heart." She patted Shepard on the back, "I'm impressed, Shep." They locked eyes for a moment before Kasumi rolled hers, "Alright you can change." Shepard hesitated briefly at Saren's likeness, then dug in and grabbed her armor.

Everyone groaned as a combination of Kelly, Gabby and Jacob blocked the screen; everyone only able to catch glimpses of a shoulder or leg behind them. Jack jeered at them, shouting 'let her take it off', Ken agreed, cheering alongside her.

They found the greybox after looking at some incredible, awkward and astounding pieces in Hock's vault. Shepard took a picture of the Turian sculpture for Garrus and sent it to his terminal. She knew he was feeling a bit homesick, maybe this would help; a little piece of Palaven.

Hock's likeness popped back up after Shepard expressed a disturbing amount of joy over a new gun. He seemed almost hurt to see her but focused his attention on Kasumi. As he was yammering away, an evil look took over her face. Shepard smirked at him and pointed her gun at a very expensive looking vase. He shouted at her as she blasted the vase into millions of little pieces, the bullet ricocheting off a few others before imbedding in a wall.

"Now that I have your attention, how about you shut the hell up and we finish this?" She sounded like her old self. His face turned red as he summoned his guards. They made their way through them quickly, picking past mech after mech before facing the gunship. She took several hits during the fight, and she was hurting.

"So much for not drawing my gun, Kasumi." She said after the girl sprung up and disabled the shields. "Also, holy shit, teach me to do that."

"I said _if we were lucky._ I'm usually pretty lucky, so this must be on you, Shep." She said with a wink after they took out the gunship.

The shuttle arrived as she applied the medi-gel, whisking them back onto the Normandy. No sooner had she boarded did the email finally arrive from Liara. They were ready to hunt the Shadow Broker. The doctor gave her some meds and sent her on her way, the worst of her injuries already healed up thanks to the fancy cybernetics from Cerberus. She made it to her room and found Garrus sitting on her couch, staring at her dead fish.

"Aw… I swear I just fed them…" She said sadly. He stood abruptly and walked over to her, grabbing her up and wrapping her tightly in his arms. "…Garrus, you ok?"

"Don't ever do that again." He buried his face into her neck. "Ever."

She blinked and he squeezed her tighter she patted his back, "Easy there, top predator, squishy creature here. Don't have plates to protect me." He loosened his grip, but only a bit.

"That's exactly my point." He growled, "You go charging into danger and damn the consequences. Your armor can only do so much to protect you." She felt his mandibles twitch against her neck, "I… can only do so much…"

She ran her hand up and down his back, she was lost, "The heck are you talking about?"

"You, Shepard. Charging into battle with no one to watch your back…without me to—"

"You're such an idiot, Vakarian." She said gently, she felt him turn to look towards her, "You say it like you have a choice, like it's your responsibility. But it isn't. You, all of you, are my responsibility, mine to protect."

"I don't ever want you to take another hit for me." He growled.

"That's not your decision."

"You can't just charge ahead like it doesn't matter." He growled more forcefully, his tone on the verge of shouting. "Like none of us would be affected if you died again! I cant..."

She stayed silent. She hadn't even thought about that since reuniting with him. She'd been so happy to have him back, then him being shot… She shook her head.

"I'm sorry." She said very softly. She felt him relax slightly, and cringed. "But nothing, _nothing,_ will keep me from taking a hit for you." Her tone was firm.

He lifted his head away from her, she let him withdraw. He looked into her eyes for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed her full on the mouth. She stared up at his closed eyes, her own wide, blinking. He pulled her close against him and her body responded against her will. She relaxed into his arms, her hands resting against his shoulders as she leaned into the kiss. She knew it would change things, she knew she shouldn't, but she wanted this more than anything. In this moment, there were no Collectors, no Cerberus, no millions counting on her, and nothing would take this moment from her... Except apparently Joker.

_"Commander we've reached Illium." _

Garrus seemed to realize what he was doing and let her go immediately, he wouldn't meet her eyes as he walked out of the room, leaving her standing there, heart pounding, head in a daze staring after him. She looked at her fish tank and started laughing. _Of course it happened in front of dead fish_. Kelly Chambers walked in on her like this, laughing in the center of the room at her dead fish.

"Commander, are you alright? You look…odd." She sounded genuinely concerned.

"No, Kelly I'm not." She scooped out the dead fish, flushing them.


	9. Chapter 9

Her heart picked up speed, why were there so many cops around Liara's apartment? She pushed past them as soon as they allowed her.

"What happened here?" She asked the asari spectre.

"Someone tried to kill your friend, commander." She began. She congratulated her on reinstating her status and made the small talk before Shepard snapped her back to it.

"Look, I was supposed to meet Liara here, we were about to take on the Shadow Broker." She informed.

"Shadow Broker? That's a dangerous enemy to have." Tela sneered.

"What are the details? Is Liara hurt?"

"Your friend isn't here, Commander. Someone took a shot at her but her barriers must have been up, the shots barely made it into the glass. She must be paranoid."

"Obviously for good reason." Shepard defended, she didn't like this woman, "If she isn't here then where is she?"

"If I knew that I wouldn't be sifting through her crap." Tela rolled her eyes. "If your friend new you were coming perhaps she left a note."

Shepard eventually found the disk, her fingers skimming along the edges of a painting of Ilos. She stared a moment at the ragged piece of armor in a display case.

"Looks like someone didn't like you much either." Tela commented.

"Fine with me, I'm working on returning the favor." She said with a smile before they loaded up into Tela's car and headed to the trading floor.

They were three steps up when the explosion went off. Shrapnel and fire rained down on their heads. Grunt pulled her out of the way as a large piece crashed down. She nodded her thanks and motioned for him and Zaeed to follow. She needed a sniper to watch her back, and Garrus was...distracting.

She went past the survivors and worked her way through the tower, her thoughts on the kiss. She tried to push it away but it kept forcing its way back in. His intense concern, the look in his eyes, all of it was a bit much to absorb. She was glad she at least was wearing her helmet, she wouldn't be able to breathe in this smoke otherwise, not to mention no one being able to see her face. She liked this new helmet, she felt a bit like Judge Dredd. They made it to the last level and found Tela with a dead Salarian.

"I take it that's Sekat?" Shepard said with a sigh, a trail gone cold. "And no sign of any data. Looks like another dead end."

"Speaking of, did you find your friends body?" Shepard didn't like Vasir's tone.

"You mean this body?" Liara stepped from the shadows, her gun pointed at Tela.

"Liara!" Shepard let out a sigh of relief, then paused, "Something I should know?"

"This is the woman who tried to kill me." She advanced.

"Oh, well in that case," Shepard drew her weapons and signaled her squad to follow, aiming at Tela. "I thought you seemed a bit shady."

Tela backed towards the window, "How about you put that gun down?"

They confronted Vasir, and she blasted glass towards them.

"Pureblood bitch!" She shouted.

They all braced but Liara threw up a barrier just in time. Tela went to dive out of the window and Shepard caught her mid jump, slamming into her. She tried to grab the window ledge, but they had too much momentum and they fell. Her fist connected a few times before she was kicked off and into the ground. She laid there stunned for a moment, trying to catch her breath as the world spun. She got to her feet as her squad joined her, Liara already hunting down Vasir.

"Aw I was kinda hoping she realized the futility of fighting us and just lept off the building." Shepard sighed as Tela took off in her skycar. "And I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking." She rolled her eyes. They loaded in and she left Grunt behind, he'd weigh down the car and they needed speed.

They swerved wildly through the traffic, Liara barking orders, Shepard ignoring her, making snarky quips. She had to laugh at Liara's frantic reactions  
>"We'll be fine." She smiled as she swerved between two large trucks coming head on at them. "You remember the Mako, right?"<p>

"That's why I'm concerned."

"Ouch, Liara, that hurt."

She slammed the car hard into Tela, forcing her to crash into an oncoming vehicle and land on a nearby hotel balcony. She landed gently on Azure, getting out of the car, she patted Liara on the shoulder as she shakily got out of the car. They gunned down wave after wave of the Shadow Broker forces, finally making their way into the hotel.

She tried to comfort a man and an asari but they were too shaken, she felt it best to leave them alone. She turned to leave and saw a large television taking up most of one wall. She put a hand on her hip, the other held her gun loosely at her side. She watched the video of scantily clad Asari dancing.

"Huh." She tilted her head. "Hey Liara, what kind of hotel is this?"

"A luxury resort with an… exotic edge." She said in her usual informational tone, Shepard thought she saw a hint of blush on her cheeks. "Azure is a slang term for a part of the asari body in some areas of Illium."

Shepard grinned, "Where?"

"Mainly the lower reaches, near the bottom." She wouldn't look at her.

She smirked at Liara and moved closer, practically in her ear, "I meant where on the asari body."

"So did I."

"Ooh pervy. Love it." She laughed before pressing forward and finding the car and large volumes of blood. They caught up to her at a diner, where she took a woman hostage. Shepard tried to comfort her but Vasir was making it very hard. She thought of a risky tactic. But she had to try.

"Is that it?" Tela looked shocked as a sharp laugh escaped, "Vasir, I sacrificed _hundreds_ of lives to save the Destiny Ascension. I unleashed the rachni on the galaxy." Vasir took a step back, Shepard grinned at her.

"So for your sake, I hope your escape plan doesn't hinge on me hesitating to shoot a damn hostage." She said in a light, dangerous tone. She lowered her eyes at Tela. "Now Liara."

Tela flew across the room. Shepard helped the woman to her feet and pushed her out of the way. After a disgustingly long fight they managed to take down Tela Vasir, and end her corrupt ways. Shepard went to get the disk, Tela spat blood on her boots.

"You're dead!" She coughed blood, "He's stronger than anything you've ever faced!"

"That why you sold out the council to work for him? Is that why you've taken _hundreds_ of innocent lives to please him?" She pressed her boot against Tela Vasir's chest, "You're pathetic. At least have the courage to stand by your actions."

"Look in the mirror." She choked out before her death. Shepard tried not to let the words get to her, but they did. She hated that she was with Cerberus. Hated who they were and what they'd done, but she was still technically with them. She sighed and stood up, having to nearly jog to catch up to Liara.

"Will you slow down!" She started. "It's ok for you to lean on me for help, its what I'm here for."

"Shepard, I cant slow down." Liara shook her hand loose and tried to walk away.

"You made that abundantly clear. You didn't even give me a second look on the trade floor, you left me in the dust to go after Vasir." She almost sounded hurt.

"Shepard…"

They went back and forth and she was finally able to calm Liara down a bit before they got back on the ship.

Garrus was waiting for her when they got back on the ship. She walked into her room stretching out the shoulder she'd landed on. He sat on her couch, his hands braced together over his mouth. She forced herself to maintain her calm, she wasn't going to approach the topic, she'd let him do it. She was perfectly content pretending nothing happened.

"You ok Garrus?" She gave a light laugh, "You seem a bit distraught."

She noticed the mugs in front of him, one was his coffee, one was steaming with white liquid. She sat beside him and picked it up, smelling the sweet liquid. She let out a sigh, she hadn't had honeyed milk in a long time. She took a sip and felt her muscles relax.

"Thanks, I didn't know I needed this. I'm kind of surprised you remembered." She smiled. He stayed quiet. She set down her mug and turned towards him, her hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me Garrus."

He looked at her, his eyes were in turmoil. She became immediately concerned. "It's Sidonis. I found his trail."

"That's excellent news, where do we need to go?" He blinked at her, "You really thought you were going to go on your own? That's cute. Now give me the coordinates and we'll take care of it."

He shook his head, "You're too busy for this Shepard."

She rolled her eyes, "We'll get him after the Shadow Broker, only because Feron's life is in danger. Will you be able to pick up the trail?"

He shook his head, "Yes, he has no idea I'm onto him but—"

"Give me the coordinates, Vakarian." She raised an eyebrow at him and he caved, sending her the coordinates which she immediately forwarded to Joker. "Then we all get drinks. On me if I recall." She said smiling. He finally returned the smile, but it was small. "That's better."

She leaned back and stared at her second round of fish, sipping her milk contently, hoping these would last longer. It was nice just sitting here with him, so long as they didn't talk about the kiss the peace wouldn't be ruined.

Garrus left his coffee unattended, letting it grow cold. His thoughts raced, he'd intended to talk to her about the kiss, to apologize or do it again, whichever seemed to fit. But then his terminal had lit up, beeping urgently, showing him how to find Sidonis. 'Fade'. He clenched his teeth.

But for this moment, everything was fine. She sat curled up on the couch beside him, staring at her new fish. The room was warm and she was safe here beside him. He hated that she'd gone on the last few missions without him, he was afraid she was upset with him. He couldn't hide the relief when she smiled at him and actually relaxed beside him. He wondered if he should even bring it up. He looked over at her and smiled. She'd fallen asleep with her mug in her lap. The cup was empty, her head hung forward, a few tendrils of hair escaping from their confinement.

He stood and took the mug out of her hand, setting it gently on the table. He lifted her easily from the couch. She woke up and blinked, looking hazily up at him. She yawned widely.

"Where are we going?" she asked mid yawn.

"You are going to bed." He answered gently, pulling back the covers and laying her down before tucking the blanket up to her neck. She snuggled into the sheets and almost immediately fell asleep.

He rubbed the back of his neck. He'd approach the topic another time, right now he'd let her sleep. He grabbed both mugs and went back into the elevator. He swore to himself not to spend another night with her until he knew exactly where they stood. He dropped the mugs in the sink and headed for the main battery. He unfolded his cot and closed his eyes, struggling to sleep. He'd almost succeeded when the image of her laid out beneath him, her hair tussled, shirt riding up to expose her stomach, those ever so short shorts, cheeks flushed, heart pounding... He jolted upright and rubbed his eyes. He needed a shower. A cold one.

The shuttle dropped them on the back of a very large, very windy ship. Shepard turned and admired the view full circle, catching her balance in the wind. Lightning arched across the sky, thunder cracked loudly as the wind howled past them.

"This thing is amazing. And these clouds are breathtaking, literally and figuratively." She gave a half laugh before they worked their way across the ship.

Grunt erupted into laughter, "This is a fight!" He punched one hard, launching them over the edge to get sucked into the wind.

"Seriously, Liara I think they heard you." She said laughing as an organized wave came after them. She shot one of the lightning capacitors, causing lightning to ricochet hard between two opponents. A small piece rocketed her direction, but she dove behind cover just in time.

"Maybe there will be less to deal with once we are inside." Liara joined her as they walked over to the side railing, stopping a few feet back while Shepard leaned over the side, staring down at the tumultuous clouds below.

Shepard laughed, "Yeah, keep dreaming T'Soni."

She looked over her shoulder and saw Liara hanging back while Grunt was keeping an eye out for approaching bad guys. She smiled.

"What's the matter Liara, afraid of heights?" Shepard teased before stepping back, the lock on the door cracking. "I miss when we could just shoot omnigel on everything." She said with a sigh.

They worked their way inside and found Feron quickly. Shepard motioned Grunt to follow her to the side, giving Liara a moment alone with Feron before the group continued to the heart of the Shadow Brokers base.

The massive shadow loomed over the desk, folding its hands as if it were about to make a business proposition. Shepard raised her gun, pointing where she thought the things eye would be, the backlit cameras obscuring the finer detail, only showing enough to let her know this thing was huge and had pretty big horns. The way he addressed her sent a chill down her spine.

"I'm not reckless, just determined. Ask your asari spectre about that." She smiled down the barrel of her gun. She grinned widely at Liara's response to the Shadow Brokers threats. She saw him vibrate with rage and had to stop herself from taking a half step back as the Shadow Broker stood to his full height, she braced for attack. She barely had the chance to tackle Liara to the side as the desk flew at them, they hit the ground hard. She turned to see Grunt lying splayed out on the floor. She waited long enough to see he was still breathing before lifting her weapon and unloading her thermal clips into the Shadow Broker's head.

Power radiated down from the orb in the ceiling, covering him in a kinetic barrier. Liara looked at her frantically, her bullets ricocheting off his chest. She smiled and winked at her.

"Don't tell Garrus, I think he'd kill me." She laughed, imagining his face.

"What are you going to do?" Liara sounded concerned.

"Settle this the hard way." She cracked her knuckles as she walked up to the massive beast. He rose to meet her and she charged, her fist connecting with his chin, sending him lurching back. She skid backwards with the impact, she ran to meet him once more and was tossed aside hard by his shield, her back slamming into the floor with a loud crack.

"Shepard!"

"Shit! My shield is busted." She broke off the now smoldering piece and threw it at the Yahg, who seemed to grin as he readied his weapon. They both dove back into cover.

She tried again, this time anticipating the shield, slamming into it with her shoulder. He pushed, she pushed back, then he kicked off his heel and drove hard forward, tossing her into Liara.

"Damnit." She cursed under her breath, wiping a bit of blood from her mouth before Liara could see. She was hurting without shields. Thank the spirits for armor.

"Shepard, try and get his shield up again, I have an idea." Liara said quickly as she stood. Shepard followed her gaze to the large orb and nodded. She circled around the Yahg, until she was on the opposite side of the room from Liara.

"Hey! Pet!" She shouted, his gaze turned back to her. "Aw, aren't you just a cutie. I might take you on the Normandy for my own." She heard his low growl, "Don't worry, I promise to rub your tummy." He bellowed with rage before charging towards her.

_Here goes…_

Shepard sprinted directly at him, when he was under the orb, she slid beneath his shield and rolled back to her feet. Liara didn't hesitate, she was barely out of the way when the glass and pent up lightning came crashing down, turning the shadow broker into ash.

She patted Liara on the shoulder before helping Grunt remove a rather large piece of concrete from his chest. He rolled over and coughed before standing, shaking off all assistance. The wall of monitors began to speak, requesting the Shadow Broker. Liara handled it beautifully with hardly any hesitation. She smiled, her little frightened asari locked in a bubble turned into the shadow broker, and she couldn't be more proud.

"Good, finally I can get some useful intel from someone I trust. Just don't go power crazy on me." Shepard laughed, while inside it was a genuine concern.

She hugged her to comfort her, and then hugged her goodbye, taking Grunt back onto the Normandy with her, promising to invite Liara when they didn't have a deadline to meet. She'd promised Garrus that as soon as they were done, it was off to the Citadel to finally take down Sidonis, and that bastard called 'Fade'.

No sooner had she stepped out of the elevator on the crew deck, aiming to tell Garrus to grab his gear for the hunt, Samara caught her in the hallway.

"Commander, the AML Demeter docked at Omega. She has already taken several lives, the latest was a young artist by the name of Nef. We cannot let her strike again!" She urged.

"Of course, Samara." She cast a wistful glance towards Garrus' door, _I'm sorry, Garrus…_ "What do we need to do?"

She shifted uncomfortably against the shuttle as the crew gathered around her, expressing their concern. Taking on an Ardat-Yakshi was dangerous enough, but posing as prey to do so, she had to admit she understood their concern. But her mind was elsewhere. She'd promised to help Garrus find peace through revenge as soon as they were finished with the Shadow Broker, but if she left Morinth unattended who knows how many would die. She shook her head, she needed to focus, if Morinth was as dangerous as Samara explained she was in very real danger and there was a chance she could have her nervous system completely fried. No advanced healing process that way.

The elevator doors opened on the floor up to engineering, Garrus stepped out and their eyes locked for a brief moment through the large glass window. She felt his anger, he looked betrayed. Inside she cringed, outside she remained solid. He turned and went through the doors to engineering, the door shutting between them. She let out a breath and turned to face Samara as she approached.

"I almost couldn't recognize you commander." Samara bowed her head slightly in greeting.

Shepard returned the greeting, toying with one of the laces on her boots. "That's the idea."

She wore a very tight dark crimson minidress which dipped low against her chest, pressing her breast up for dramatic cleavage, going up over her shoulders to zip up the side of her neck, a leather corset cinched with black buckles up the front. A black leather jacket cropped to her ribs covered down her shoulders. Heeled leather boots went up to just above her knee, buckling up the side, fishnet stockings beneath. Her hair had been straightened and pinned haphazardly up against her scalp, random pieces jutting out. Her makeup was dark and smoky, her lips bright red and shining. Since it was omega, she was able to strap a gun to the outside of her right thigh and know that no one would hassle her, it made her feel a bit more secure.

"Let us depart, the longer we wait, the more time Morinth has to find another victim."

"Lets talk with Aria first, nothing happens on Omega without her knowing." Shepard loaded into the shuttle.

Garrus' fist slammed hard into the speed-bag. How could she? How could she follow the request of someone she'd just met and break her promise to him? He continued to punch the bag, this time a bit harder. He was furious with her. He felt abandoned and betrayed, and he was far from able to book a shuttle to the Citadel. Vigilante justice didn't pay, at all, and what little money he had left he'd wired back to his father to help pay his mothers medical bills. He left the speed bag and went to the hanging bag in the corner of the room, kicking it hard and rattling the chain.

"I don't believe I've ever seen you in this state, Mr. Vakarian." Thane sauntered into the room, Garrus sneered, the last person he'd want to see.

"Just leave me alone, Krios. I'm not in the mood to talk." He growled.

"I did not come to talk." He flung his foot in a wide kick towards Garrus, he barely managed to get his guard up in time. "It is my understanding Turians spar to work off steam, allow me to be your opponent." His fist connected with his chest.

Garrus sprung backwards and dodged a low kick before extending his arm to its full length only to have it trapped by Krios and twisted painfully. Garrus was done toying with him. They matched each other blow for blow for what felt like an eternity.

"What is bothering you?"

"Nothing I'm willing to tell you." Garrus sneered and ducked low to dodge a punch before returning his own.

"Fighting will ease your stress for now, that is true. However, coming to terms with what has happened is far greater peace. Trust me, I had to learn that the hard way."

Garrus remained silent.

"Something regarding our lovely Commander, perhaps?" Garrus threw a wild punch, "Ah, I thought it might be that."

"Leave it be, Krios."

"No."

"What do you expect me to say!?" He kicked out and it connected, tossing Krios across the room. "I feel betrayed? Fine, I feel betrayed."

Krios flipped to his feet and slammed his shoulder into Garrus knocking the wind out of him, "And what reason could you possibly have to feel betrayed by the Commander?"

Garrus managed to push him off, his punch was wide and Krios nearly managed to duck under it, but Garrus' other fist was waiting.

"Because she swore we would head to the Citadel and hunt down that bastard!" He growled.

"To what end?" Krios wiped a small bit of blood from his mouth before kicking at Garrus' raised arms, then sweeping at his legs, which Garrus leapt over.

"To make him pay for what he has done!" He growled and slammed Krios into the wall, teeth bared.

He held him pinned there, fighting his predatory need to crush the life from an opponent. She flooded his mind, the look on her face when they'd locked eyes in the docking bay, surprised. He growled and tossed Krios across the room, the drell landed lightly on his feet.

"Can you truly be that blind to the Commanders motives?" Krios stood at the ready from his landing spot, Garrus looked at him curiously. "Your quest was one of vengeance, Samara's one of salvation. Are you truly surprised which one she rushed to?"

Garrus scoffed and grabbed his bag, leaving Krios at the center of the room, or so he thought. Not a moments peace was granted, Thane followed him to the showers.

Garrus shook his head, letting out a long sigh as the cold water rushed down his plates. When it was broken down like that he couldn't be angry with her, but revenge was not rational. His blood still boiled to kill Fade for helping Sidonis; and kill Sidonis quickly, blindsided like his squad. He put his armor back on.

"That is one of the most admirable things about her," Krios toweled off. Garrus froze to listen. "She will choose to save a complete stranger over seek revenge any day. You have already seen her do it once."

Garrus' mind flashed with the memory. Balak, the Batarian who had killed her parents, stood before them and she had to choose. Finally get her revenge, finally put those demons to rest, or save a group of strangers. Balak was still on the loose to this day, the survivors at home with their families. He'd seen her tremble as she told him to go, saw the muscles in her jaw move as she'd clenched her teeth and forced herself to remain calm, the slight twitch of her finger as she fought the urge to pull the trigger.

He shook his head and looked up, Krios was gone. That slimy drell… He owed him a beer. He thought of the hurt look on Shepard's eyes as he turned his back on her. She'd never, _never _turned her back on him. And yet something as simple as a delayed promise, which is what it truly was, was enough for him to turn his back on her. He headed up to the battery to begin forming his apology.


	10. Chapter 10

**Heads up. Sexy times in this chapter, if you don't wan to read it, skip it but there is relationship development here as well**

"Commander, are you sure you are alright?"

Morinth's head lay splattered against the wall and floor, a sick sea of blue. She tried to spit it out, but it was too late, the capsule had popped and she was already beginning to feel the effect of the Hallex. Heat flooded her, her skin trembled, even the slightest touch from Samara set her body on fire. She stood quickly and swayed, brushing off Samara's hands.

Morinth had forced the Hallex into her mouth using her own tongue, the kiss had been necessary to convince Morinth she was interested. She'd been on Hallex before during her rebellious phase after Mindoir, so she knew how to act, when honestly shed just kept it tucked into her cheek. She didn't know capsules came that large in size. When she'd gone to restrain Morinth, the girl swung her hand wide, slapping her across the cheek and popping the large capsule. She'd heard the pop, and winced, knowing that it was absorbed primarily across the gums and the tongue. She'd never taken that much, the two times shed tried it they had been very small doses just to make her happy, never this large of a dose. She was in for a ride.

"I'm fine, Samara. Let's just get back to the ship." She shook off Samara's guiding hand, all it was doing was sending chills down her spine.

As soon as they were on the ship she stopped by Chakwas, then Mordin, who each informed her that the safest thing to do was ride it out. So she went to her loft and locked the door behind her, telling Chambers she didn't want to be disturbed. She felt the Hallex working, her entire body felt hot, her heart slamming in her chest as the heat spread lower. She'd never been more aroused, it was almost painful. Her mind began to wander to roads she thought best left alone, like who would be willing to help resolve this ache pooling lower in her stomach.

Garrus' shirtless form flashed in front of her as she removed her corset and let it fall to the floor, she shook her head violently, _NO._ She wasn't going to let him anywhere near her right now, it would ruin everything.

"Shepard." Her heart leapt into her throat and throbbed, it longed to hear that voice trace its way along her skin, hear him whisper her name again and again as his teeth nipped at her skin. She shook her head violently and didn't turn to face him.

"Now isn't really a good time, Garrus." She tried to keep her voice light, but even to her it sounded thick and languid. She shook her head, "I'm sorry I broke my promise, but I would really rather discuss it later." She kept her back to him and bit her thumb hard, hoping the pain would clear her head and help her focus. It didn't.

"No, I should have trusted you. I should have followed your command, you've never let me down before." He was standing right behind her, she heard the shift of his clothing. She longed to rip it from his body and stare at every plate he was born with. She clenched her teeth and swallowed hard.

"Please not now Garrus." She said breathily, it was getting harder and harder to breath. Her skin was radiating warmth, with him this close the ache only grew stronger.

She wouldn't face him, she couldn't. She felt his hand touch the exposed section of her lower back, she nearly jumped out of her skin, and nearly jumped into his. She sucked in a breath and made a whimpering noise very unlike her as the chill radiated up and down her back. She was mortified, she slapped her hand over her mouth and quickly stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

"Shepard, are you alright?" His voice was muffled through the door, but she still felt it rumble through her.

"I'm fine Garrus, just please go away." She sat on the floor and tucked her knees against her chest, pressing her knees into her eyes. Maybe if she sat like this, Garrus would go away, the ache would go away, her body would calm the hell down and let her get back to saving the galaxy.

His hand touched her shoulder and she jolted, she didn't hear the door open. Her eyes met his, his beautiful, trusting, confused blue eyes. She couldn't imagine what she looked like right now, the confident commander, aroused out of her wits and secretly begging for him.

"I think you should go, Garrus." She barely managed to choke out the words, urging him to leave even as she shifted to sit on her knees, her body ignoring her demands to stop. "I really think…" Her hands crept up around his neck and her lips were just slightly away from his, close enough for her to feel his breath against her lips. "…you should…"

It was Garrus who kissed her first. He had to, the hazy aroused look in her eyes, the tone pleading for her to be touched, the heat absolutely radiating off of her. The plump red lips begging to be kissed, the messy hair begging to be let down, the curve of her breasts pressing against the excuse for a dress, begging to be set free as her chest heaved beneath it.

"Please…" He heard her say on a ragged breath as she pulled him closer, he knew she wasn't herself, her mouth smelled like drugs, he shouldn't take advantage of this, but he was moving on autopilot. The scent she was emitting wrenched into the core of his instinct, driving out rational thoughts, driving out military hierarchy and fraternization, all that was left was the core thought, this woman was very aroused and wanted him. And he'd be happy to oblige.

He lifted her off of the bathroom floor, their lips not breaking, and carried her over to the bed. She had a vice grip around his neck, not letting him get far from her as her legs wrapped around his waist and her teeth found a sensitive spot at the base of his mandible. He let out a deep, throaty growl and pinned her to the bed, forcing her arms up over her head as he struggled to find his reason. Her hips writhed beneath him. He lifted her arms and forced the jacket off her shoulders, exposing the bare flesh of her lean muscled arms. His head went forward and his teeth raked and nipped along her shoulder up to her neck, where he bit down harder, causing her to cry out. He almost thought he'd hurt her but her hand pressed his face back down into her neck.

His hands roamed over her body as they'd longed to do, her body was velvet over steel, the soft skin a thin layer over hard muscle. And yet she was so incredibly soft, his hand wandered up to cup her breast, his thumb rubbing over the bump in the fabric, he had no idea what it was, but she seemed to enjoy him touching it. He pulled the fabric down to expose both breasts, one hand toyed with one while he brought his mouth down to the other, taking the small pink bump into his mouth and teasing it using both his tongue and his teeth. Her hands gripped at his crest as if to hold on as a soft moan escaped her lips, he assumed this meant he was doing something right.

Admittedly he had looked up human intercourse and 'foreplay' before. Briefly. He was curious if something between him and the commander was even physically possible. Turns out it was. He just needed to familiarize himself with her, he wanted her to _want _him, to want him now and to want him to come back later.

Her skin was on fire, and she loved every moment of it. The little voice in her head screaming for her to get him out of there before anything between them could be permanently damaged had been quieted the moment their lips touched. And completely silenced the moment his hands roved down to her bare breasts. The rough texture of his palms only heightening her attention to his actions, every motion only seemed to stoke the fire in her more and more.

His mouth left her breast, she almost protested until it found its way back to her neck, his teeth grazing along her skin as he whispered her name. She shuddered. His free hand found the zipper at her side and slowly unzipped the slinky red dress she had been wearing. He let it fall to the side of her, leaving her there in nothing but her boots and small, lacey black panties. He forced himself to be restrained, she looked breathtaking, but she was still vulnerable. His hands continued to roam over her body and up into her hair. He removed all the pesky little pins holding her long hair up, allowing it to fall in a messy pool around her face. His fingers delved into the silken mass of it, entwining it into his fingers, running it through his talons.

This was what he'd always pictured. Her hair fanned out behind her, eyes clouded, cheeks flushed, lips full and red, black lacey panties…the boots were just a plus and he had no intention of taking them off.

She reached up and pulled at his shirt, he lifted it over his head before her mouth descended onto his neck, her lips trailing up, nipping at him here and there. He dug his claws into the bed sheets as he fought the urge to take her now. He forced her back down onto her back and he followed her, lying beside her as one of his hands ventured lower. He brushed against her panties and he felt her writhe.

"Garrus." She said on a heavy breath and he clenched his teeth. The sound of his name on her lips was almost too much for him, he was having hard enough time staying in control of his own body.

He began to touch her through the fabric of the underwear, but only briefly as his own desires ran deeper. He slid his hand into the fabric and felt bare skin, no hair like some of the vids he'd seen. He felt nothing but silky skin, heat and her readiness. He couldn't resist. He slid a finger inside of her, her muscles contracting down against him as he left his finger there motionless. She writhed against his hand, her heat radiating against him, muscles massaging against his finger. He slowly, so slowly began to move his finger in and out of her, his thumb rubbing a sensitive nub nearby.

She couldn't form a thought. Her head fell back and her nails dug into his shoulders as he fingered her. His fingers were larger than a human's, so it was more satisfying than teasing. She couldn't help the smile on her face as his finger slipped in and out of her. She groaned his name and he added his second finger, moving a bit quicker. She bucked her hips against his hand as she reached her orgasm, it was long and intense; she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close as her heart began to calm, but only slightly, she had to push his hand away to catch her breath.

He looked up at her and she kissed him hard. Her eyes were a languid aqua, but deep within them he saw the hunger she held for him. He smelled the drugs on her breath again and it pulled him a bit more back to reality. He may as well let her have her fun, but that would the end of it, had to be the end of it. His head dipped between her breast, taking each bump into his mouth in turn before trailing nips down her abdomen. She was about to raise a question when his head disappeared between her thighs, his mandibles spreading her lips as his rough tongue slid inside of her. Her hands flew to her mouth to stifle the cry as his long, course tongue explored her.

She was drunk on him. She couldn't tell which was doing more, his surprisingly skilled touch or the Hallex. She'd wanted him for a long time, she didn't deny that. But what he was doing now, his tongue probing deeper than she thought possible, was more than she'd ever let herself imagine. His tongue curled inside her, hitting the soft sensitive area. Her hand went to his shoulder, her nails instinctively trying to dig in, trying to grab hold of something, anything to tell her this wasn't a dream. Her back arched and she hooked her legs up over his shoulders. A hand came and gripped her waist, holding her hips down, talons digging against her flesh not quite hard enough to break skin.

He felt the fabric of the boots against his plates and he smiled to himself at the image they must make. The powerful commander spread out on a bed with a vigilante Turian between her legs. He was going crazy, her taste on his tongue, the silken sensation of her, the muscles contracting down against his tongue urging him on as her hands clawed at his shoulders and her boots pressed him forward. She was so soft all over. Her hips bucked violently as he hooked his tongue and flicked it inside of her, he heard her muffled cry against her hand as she reached her climax. He couldn't help but imagine how it would feel to slide inside of her, hot and willing, to feel the silken skin slide down him, to feel those muscles squeeze him.

He lifted his head from her and wiped his mouth. He looked down at her, her cheeks flushed, eyes closed, body trembling, hand still covering her mouth as she panted. He gently removed her legs from around him and took her boots off. He leaned forward over her and kissed her gently on the forehead, delicately taking her hands from him and lying them on her stomach. It was taking every fiber of self control to walk away from her. He took the blankets and folded them over her, maybe covering her willing form would help.

"Garrus…?"

Her voice was thick with the question, he would have been more than happy to continue but she meant more to him than that. He kissed her briefly, the smell of the Hallex on her breath reaffirming his decision.

"We'll talk about this, later, when you're yourself. I promise."

He didn't leave her the chance to respond, he couldn't. He turned quickly, throwing on his shirt and unlocked the door, locking it behind him. It wouldn't do for anyone else to wander up to her quarters with her in this state. The elevator doors opened and Thane stepped out. Garrus cleared his throat and tried to play it off.

"She's asleep." He got into the elevator and pressed the button to the crews quarters. Thane looked at him, stared at him, a small smile came to his lips.

"I am sure she is exhausted, though I am glad to see that the two of you have made up." He smirked and stepped out of the elevator.

Garrus scowled at him, but it didn't last. How could he be angry at anything with the taste and smell of her still with him? The image of her spread out on the bed? Her hunger for him? His scowl turned into a grin as he stepped in the showers, feeling rather pleased with himself. He tried to ignore his own ache and turned the shower as cold as it would go. He hated cold.

She was having a very hard time focusing. Thane was telling her something about his son and that he had business at the Citadel as well. She knew he could tell she wasn't fully paying attention, but he knew she kept her promises to the best of her abilities and left it at that. He gave her a curious smirk when she went to leave, and when she asked all she received as response was 'Nothing, Siha.' She shook it off and went to talk to Garrus.

She stopped in the middle of the mess hall. Her skin was tingling and it wasn't just excitement. Something cold settled in her stomach, what he must think of her. Commander Shepard turned into a horny druggie and taking full advantage. Well, not fully. She shook her head and thought back to the look he had given her before he left. He didn't seem disgusted, and if he was disgusted by her then why would he have…she shook her head and tried to suppress the heat that began to push out the cold. Yes, the hallex had lowered her inhibitions, but what had happened was exactly what she had wanted to, and more. Why didn't he press?

She looked at Chakwas and decided maybe a quick stop to share that brandy would help. Chakwas was always such a lightweight, and once she was nice and drunk and she knew she wouldn't remember anything, Shepard aired her concerns, as quietly as she could to keep Garrus from hearing her. All she received was a 'go for it girl, if anyone deserves some happiness it's you' before the good doctor passed out in her chair. She smiled and moved the doctor to a bed before sitting back down and staring at the door of the battery, drink in hand. The ship was on its way to the Citadel to take care of Sidonis and Fade, though most of the crew thought it was her finally cashing in on her drink offer.

She had to talk to him before that. She knew how she was when she was around Balak, cold and unreachable. She wanted to know where everything stood before he turned into the rage filled monster she had once become. Granted she supported her own decision, the ending would have been different. She almost let those people burn just to see Balak's brains splattered against a wall. She took another swig of brandy as the realization dawned on her, she was afraid. She scoffed, the great commander Shepard, afraid of one Turian. She rolled her eyes at herself. She tried to think of what to say, tried to come up with some eloquent and well thought out conversation, but she just kept coming up blank.

She decided to do what was characteristic of her…charge in blind and hope for the best. She finished her glass and subsequently the bottle and stood, the world lurched under her. She'd drunk a lot more than she had originally thought, the brandy went straight to her head. She took a few moments to gain her balance before making her way to the battery. She paused outside the door and almost turned around, but the door whooshed open and there he stood, a dumb smirk on his face as he leaned up against the console to face her.

"Shepard, need me for something?" She wanted to punch the grin off of his face, no matter how well deserved it was. She cleared her throat.

"Yes, actually." She crossed her hands behind her back and made her way to the crates.

"Have you been drinking?" He quirked a brow plate at her.

"…Yes." She tucked her hair behind her ear, she'd left it down for now, it fell loosely over the light blue sweater she wore. She leaned against the wall, "How can you tell?"

"For one you're not walking in a very straight line, and for two you seem out of sorts."

"Well there is more than one reason for that." She sat and let out a long sigh. "What is wrong with me?" she laughed at herself, almost bitterly.

"I'm not following." He was utterly confused, he'd hoped she'd come to talk about last night, or ask for a repeat which he would be happy to do. Instead she was buzzed, unfocused and somewhat distant. He felt a brief moment of panic.

"Why is it that I can stare down and threaten a reaper, charge a biotic, and face down a pissed off Yahg and everything snaps into clarity," She let out a long sigh, "But can't talk to a boy?"

She was talking more to herself than to him but he could see her frustration. He closed the door to the battery, locking it. He sat down beside her on the crates.

"When have we ever spoken like normal adults?" She looked up at him and gave him a smirk.

"Hah, I guess never if you really think about it." She bit her nail, he'd never seen her nervous before, it was cute. "Garrus, I'm sorry for yesterday, I should have stayed in control regardless of the drugs, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you and I'm sorry. That…yesterday was not me. Ugh, what you must think of me now."

Took advantage of him? He fought the urge to laugh, leave it to Shepard to make something like last night her fault. Honestly he didn't need a discussion; he just needed to know if anything like that, or more, could ever happen again. He watched her fumble to find her words a few more times before he held up a hand to stop her.

"Shepard, look…" He let out a sigh and knelt in front of her, eye to eye, "I know you could find something a little closer to home but…I don't…" He sighed, "All I need to hear from you is a yes or a no. I know you were influenced by Hallex the other night and I almost , _almost_ feel guilty. Believe me, you did not take advantage of me. But, if you felt I pushed too far, or if you want nothing more to do with me, just say no." He hoped she wouldn't, and kind of wished he had a few drinks in his system, this would be an awkward conversation for anyone. "But, if you enjoyed it as much as I did, if you want… well me, just say yes. Know that whatever you choose, there is no one in this galaxy I respect more than you, that has not changed."

She stared him in the eye, searching for something, she wasn't sure what. She could see his honesty and inside she cringed. She hated talks like this, she knew what she should say as his CO. No, never again, you overstepped, stay away from me. But what she really wanted was the exact opposite. If it were up to her she would drag him off to her room right now and make him finish what he'd started the night before, her body was still trying to pull towards him, to feel his arms around her, to be in that place where the rest of the galaxy didn't exist and she could just be a normal woman. She couldn't….she shouldn't…. But she knew what she was going to do anyway.

"Damnit, Garrus." He blinked and looked confused. "You are so distracting."

He froze for only a brief moment after her arms wrapped around his neck, stared at her very close face as she pressed her mouth to his. He couldn't believe it, he'd hoped, but here he had an almost completely sober Shepard pressing her body against his. He smiled against her mouth and pulled her into a standing position so he could feel her closer. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and pressed her as tightly against him as he dared. She melted into him, her arms wrapped around his neck, one hand at the back of his head to keep him close. His hand dove into her loose hair, entwining his fingers in its silky mass as he finally let himself relax and get drunk off of her.

She tasted like brandy, which wasn't exactly a bad thing. He was glad he'd taken that dextro-amino antihistamine last night and again this morning, he wasn't entirely sure how he'd react to the different biochemistry, but it seemed to be working just fine. He had to remember to thank Mordin.

They broke to try and catch their breath, both somehow winded. He began to have thoughts of laying her down on his cot when Joker interrupted.

"Hey, Garrus, if you see the commander let her know we are about ten minutes out from the Citadel and she better have her wallet ready to handle a tab for thirty thirsty people."

She saw the change in his eyes as his thoughts went to Sidonis and Fade, she cringed inside.

"Thirty? Well, there goes any hope of a retirement fund." She joked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Hey, you're the one who volunteered it." He cut the com.

"Garrus, you trust me, right?" She asked as he slowly let her go.

"Of course, why?"

"Just…keep trusting me." She smiled gently and left the room, leaving him standing in the middle of the battery with a very confused look on his face.


	11. Chapter 11

When the crew was few drinks in, Garrus dismissed himself, Shepard following a few moments after. She brought Grunt along just in case they needed a heavy hitter, and she knew he couldn't care less what was happening as long as he could kill things. They met outside the warehouse to meet Fade, and she had to suppress a laugh when she saw a volus. There was no way that was him. And she was right.

"Oh…Good." He slowly walked away, knowing his life was in the balance.

"We should have guessed that sleezeball was in on this." Harkin was on her shit list, ever since he ran his scummy little eyes on her and propositioned her. She'd wanted to punch his lights out.

"Why didn't we kill the volus?" Grunt seemed almost disappointed.

"Shepard thinks they are cute." Garrus said distantly before turning to leave the room. She saw the change, and it worried her.

"C'mon Grunt, we need to stick close." She said quietly.

"Harkin! Old buddy! Great to see you." She said with mock sincerity shortly after the shuttle landed.

"S-shepard? He stuttered.

"Oh good, you do remember." She cracked her knuckles, "You and I need to have a little chat."

He sicked his mercenaries on them and took off running deeper into the warehouse.

"Run all you want, Harkin. We'll find you." Garrus shouted after him, his tone low and menacing. She could tell he was starting to slip into that darkness, he was so close to his goal.

"Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before he snapped." She stood beside him at the window overlooking the factory.

"He was always a pain in the ass," Garrus snapped, "But I am in no mood for his games. If he doesn't cooperate I'll beat him within an inch of his life."

He was growling, every muscle was tense as he bared his teeth at the invisible foe hiding before them. She put a hand on his shoulder and he shrugged it off, it hurt more than she was expecting.

"Talk to me, Garrus."

"If he knows why we are here, I don't want him tipping Sidonis off, that bastard can't get away again."

He scanned the room and ducked into cover, she saw the movement to and did the same. She knew it was probably better not to ask, but she needed to know.

"What are you going to do when we find Harkin?"

"I should shoot him on site, but I need him alive, so…enough to loosen his tongue."

"Garrus…"

"Don't worry, he's a coward. He'll talk long before I can do any permanent damage." He snarled, "And as soon as I find Sidonis I'll put a bullet through his head and end this. It will be quick and painless, unlike the lives he took."

"Do you really think that will set things right?"

"I know you don't like it, Shepard, but I _have_ to do this."

She was still worried, but dropped it for now. He said he knew the consequences and that he could live with them, but she didn't want him to have to. She'd killed so many before, so many that could be justified as innocent, they walked her nightmares every night. She hated the thought that he would have that same guilt hovering over him.

They fought their way through the mechs and finally got to Harkin. Garrus slammed him into the wall and tried to bargain, Garrus just kept hitting him when he didn't cooperate.

She sighed, "Harkin, this doesn't have to be hard. You never used to stick your scrawny little neck out for anyone before, why risk your life by doing it now?"

"Screw you. I wont tell you where he went, its bad for business."

He barely uttered the words and Garrus had him pinned to the floor under his boot, pressing down on his wind pipe.

"I'd be more careful with what I say, Harkin. Now, are you going to give me the information I want, or should I break your neck?"

Garrus was right, after slamming him into the wall and then into the ground, Harkins tongue loosened. She had to pull him off before he strangled the man under his boot. He set up the appointment and she was barely able to pull Garrus' gun away in time to keep from shooting Harkin. As soon as she turned away, he slammed his hard plates directly into Harkin's forehead, rendering him unconscious on the floor. She looked over her shoulder at him.

"I didn't shoot him."

"He had that coming."

The shuttle landed just before the Orbital Lounge, she locked the doors.

"I'm getting worried about you, Garrus, you were a bit hard on Harkin. Not that he didn't deserve it." He looked at her, "Its just not like you, don't let this change you."

"What do you want me to say Shepard?" He turned away from her, "What would you do if someone betrayed you?" He regretted his choice of words, in his anger he'd forgotten Balak.

"I didn't let it change me. Just keep your priorities in line and don't forget who you are." She unlocked the doors, she was staring straight ahead when he turned to look at her. "And remember you promised to trust me."

What the hell was she doing? Why wouldn't she just let him shoot Sidonis in the head and be done with it? His mandibles clicked in agitation as he stared down the scope at the back of her head. She knew he wouldn't take the shot with her in the way, she was forcing him to listen to Sidonis' side of the story. He didn't want to, he didn't want to hear what excuses that slippery bastard came up with. But then he heard it, the same thing that had been haunting him was haunting Sidonis. The faces of his fallen squad mates, their families faces twisted in anguish. He lowered his head.

"Tell him he can go." He ground his teeth and winced inwardly, "Just…tell him to get out of here."

Sidonis turned to Shepard, "Thank you…for talking to him."

He turned to leave and Shepard grabbed him by the shirt front and forced him to look her in the eyes.

"He might be done with you, but I'm not." She flicked off the com so she wouldn't be interrupted, her tone dropped dangerously. "I swear Sidonis if I wasn't concerned for Garrus I would put a bullet in your head right now, are we clear?" He stared at her wide eyed, "I couldn't give a fuck if you lived or died right now so don't go thanking me so quickly. If I thought it would truly let his mind be at peace your brains would be splattered against the wall." He tried to pull away and she forced him to his knees in front of her with a hand on his shoulder and a fist in his gut. "Did you even think? Or did you just tuck your tail between your legs and piss yourself, hoping they'd let you go? People like you make me sick. Your life is worthless, the people around you is what makes it all worthwhile." She let him up and he froze in front of her, hand over his stomach. "Think about the consequences. If it's your life or theirs, you'd better be in the grave." She waved him away, "Now go, slink back to your little hole you crawled out of, I'd better never hear your name again."

He nodded and thanked her once more before taking off away. She flicked her com back on to catch Garrus calling her.

"Shepard!"

"Yes, dear?" She tried to make herself sound collected, when she was truly enraged.

"What the hell was that?" He growled.

"No one hurts one of mine. Period." She growled back. She drove the car up to him to pick him up, forcing him to talk about it now rather than later, better to set the lines straight before anything became set in stone.

"Its so much easier to see the world in black and white…Gray…I don't know what to do with Gray." He shook his head and rubbed his forehead with his palm.

"Trust your instincts and do what feels right."

"My instincts got me into this mess in the first place."

She smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. Grunt wasn't paying any attention so she leaned up and brushed a kiss on his mandible. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

He took her hand in his, "Thanks, Shepard. For everything."

"Hey Garrus, I got you a new toy." She handed him a box with a large bow on it. He was about to head back to the bar with the rest of the crew, she was going to head off alone with Thane, something about his son. He eyed the box suspiciously. "Oh don't look at me like that, just open it."

Inside was a new visor. She urged him to try it on. It felt weird to see everything in red. She held up her hands and took it from him, putting it on herself. It looked ridiculous on her, a few sizes too big, the mouth piece far from her actual mouth, he couldn't help but smile. The screen switched to blue.

"There ya go. The guy at the store showed me a few things about it, but I don't remember much more than that since its all written in Turian." She laughed, it cut short by a firm kiss from Garrus.

She blinked and pulled away, no one was watching but she was still embarrassed.

"Thank you." He grinned at her flushed face, he felt…lighter. He took his old visor and was about to throw it away when she grabbed it from him.

"Just because you are moving on doesn't mean you forget. I'll hold onto it, ok?" He nodded. Her smile fell, he followed her gaze to one particularly sleazy reporter.

"Commander Shepard!"

"Ah, Al-Jilani. I'm surprised you still have a job." She smirked.

"My source was credible, however I'm forced to revoke my opinion. Nathan didn't appreciate the context of the documentary either."

Shepard jolted and rushed towards Al-Jilani, pinning her to the wall, "You met Nathan?"

"Yes, he is the one who gave me the footage, he even pieced it together."

"Where is he, tell me now." Garrus saw a fire in her eyes, a frantic state bordering on fear.

"I don't know, we only contacted by email, now let me go."

Garrus touched her shoulder and she seemed to snap back to reality, she let Al-Jilani go reluctantly.

"How about a trade? An interview for the address?" She nodded, sent the address to Shepard then turned on the camera.

Shepard navigated it with surprising grace, 'bull rushing' Al-Jilani while citing all the names of the Alliance's lost cruisers. It still weighed heavily on her. Thane approached them and stated with urgency that after speaking with Bailey he learned Kolyat was hired to assassinate someone and they need to act now before he followed in Thane's footsteps. She clenched her teeth and let out a long breath, forcing herself to calm down before facing the two.

"Alright, I'll see you later, Garrus." She gave him a soft smile before walking off with Thane. He stared after her, what in the Spirits name was that?

Garrus sat with the group and tried to enjoy himself with the drinks but he couldn't focus. Thane had returned a while ago and Shepard was nowhere to be found. Surely she wouldn't miss drinks with everyone? He finished off his beer and dismissed himself, prying a drunk Joker off his shoulder before leaving. He didn't have to go far. She stood outside of the bar, leaning against a railing that overlooked the presidium.

He touched the small of her back to get her attention before leaning beside her.

"What are you doing out here? The party is inside, and if you aren't there to regulate their drinks you are going to have one hell of a tab." He grinned, she looked subdued.

"I was sending an email." She said gently, then a sly grin came to her face, "And it's not my tab." She looked over her shoulder at him, "Tonight's drinks are brought to you by Cerberus."

He laughed, "I don't think the Illusive man will appreciate it."

"What's he going to do? Fire me?" She scoffed, "This is for the Collector base trick."

"Then come on in and have some drinks with us, lets run up one hell of a tab." She gave him a soft smile, "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I think. I want to wait a bit and see if I get a reply, I'll be in soon, you go have fun." She looked out over the lake of the presidium.

He turned her to face him, "Shepard, your omni-tool will let you know when you get a reply. You never get the chance to relax like this, who knows when we will get to again. Come enjoy yourself."

She was quiet for a moment, then nodded, "Just give me a few more minutes, I'll come inside, I promise."

What in the world was she thinking?

She looked around the bar at her crew, at the other patrons, and had to shake her head. Joker was 'getting his game on' as he called it with a rather effeminate looking man. She snapped a picture, he embarrassed her by bringing back that damn article, now she had a little something of her own to share. She saw Garrus sitting at the bar with Grunt, Zaeed and Tali, making avid hand gestures. He saw her and waved her over.

"Shepard, you have to agree with me. They are saying shotguns trump snipers." He handed her a vodka cranberry as he pleaded his case but she didn't really hear it. He'd ordered her favorite drink and didn't even think twice. She was surprised how much that meant to her, it was like there was no question in his mind that she would keep her word and come inside, that it was just…expected.

She'd changed out of her armor, and since they were going out drinking it only seemed appropriate to wear civilian clothes. Unfortunately she had very few civilian clothes on hand. She'd settled on the boots from her trip with Samara, a pair of leggings she lounged in, and a baggy light blue tank top and a large studded belt she bought on the way over. She was much more comfortable in this than a dress but the way Garrus was eyeing her she may as well have been nude.

"I have to stay neutral in this fight, sorry guys." The group groaned and demanded an explanation. "Well, on Garrus and Zaeed's side: Kill them before they know you're there, take out multiple hostiles before they get close enough to see you, let alone shoot at you. On Grunt and Tali's side, it's fun to charge around and take them out, much more personal, and they fly back. I'm going to stick with a healthy mix of both. Kill as many as I can at range, then take out the ones that slip the net."

They pondered for a moment then cheered. They were all getting pretty tipsy. She smiled and went to make her rounds, checking on the crew. She grinned at Joker, he wasn't gay so she wouldn't let him go home with the guy, but it was kind of fun to watch him humiliate himself. She turned and saw Samara sitting with Thane in a booth, they looked very somber. She asked how they were and apparently they were discussing their children. They assured her they were quite content with the conversation and were both having fun, she conceded and continued scanning the room.

She stopped by a few of the other crew members and was chatting with Kelly when a large hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her away from the crowd and onto the dance floor. He spun her around to face him.

"Now I'm sure you've had too much to drink." She laughed as Garrus pulled her against him, her face flushed slightly, "You and I both know I can't dance."

"Maybe that's because you never drink enough to relax." He eyed her half full glass. "Or at all, apparently. Drinks here aren't cheap, you'd better finish it…or don't… save it and toss it in the Illusive man's face."

She laughed but tried to pull away from him, but he kept his hand pressed to her lower back, pressing her against him.

"Garrus, everyone's staring."

"Never pegged you for the shy type." He grumbled in her ear, it sent a familiar chill down her spine.

"Damn it, Garrus." She half laughed, he started walking her backwards. "What are you doing?"

"Something that I hope won't blow up in my face."

They stopped beside the stage where a band was playing and he smiled at her.

"I've been thinking about this for a while and…you never sing. In that terrible video, your voice was so happy, so calming." He shook his head, "Maybe it's crazy but… Would you sing for us?"

"Us?" She looked behind him, her crew was craning their necks to see her, to see her answer. She let out a long sigh and stared at the microphone he'd pressed her hand. "Garrus…I…I can't."

She handed it back to him as gently as she could and gave him a sad smile before rushing out the door. He wasn't far behind her.

"Shepard, wait!" He caught her and turned her to face him. She took several deep breaths. "A simple 'No' or 'Not right now' would have sufficed."

She let out a long sigh and turned her head. He took her chin in his hand and turned her to face him.

"One of these days you're going to tell me what happened that made you this upset." Her eyes flicked up to his, "One of these days, not tonight. Tonight you are going to go back in there, with me, and get shitfaced with your crew."

"Garrus we have work to do."

"Not when our pilot is so hammered he's hitting on a man." He grinned, "I didn't notice until you took the picture. We aren't flying anywhere, anytime soon. The way I see it, no one needs this, no one deserves this, as much as you."

"Well, shit Garrus, you're getting all sentimental on me." She laughed softly and shook her head. "Fine. But I'm going to need something stronger."

"I'll get right on that, commander."


	12. Chapter 12

***More sexy times ahead, again if you want to skip, up to you. ***

She was exhausted and buzzed, but amped up all at the same time. Over the course of the night, Tali had passed out on Thane, Joker got in a fight with his 'lady' friend after he was shot down, and Garrus had to practically carry Grunt back to the ship with Zaeed's help after someone insulted Shepard. Thane sat wide eyed with Tali snuggling up against him, Joker was sprawled on the floor. She shook her head.

"Need some help?" She laughed and reached for Tali, prying her off of Thane who immediately slipped away.

"Thank you, Siha, my arm was beginning to lose feeling." He rolled out his shoulder.

"Remind me to get Grunt that shotgun upgrade." She smiled and lifted Tali up over her shoulder, the drunk Quarian barely noticed, only grumbled something before losing consciousness. Thane lifted Joker and walked towards a skycar.

"Is everything alright, Siha?" Thane watched her as she set Tali gently in the back seat. "You reacted very strongly to the idea of singing, yet you do not appear shy and you are talented."

"Yeah, I guess I did over react, it just brings up some memories I'd rather keep buried. I'd rather not talk about it, but thanks for asking." She smiled at him and loaded herself into the skycar after Thane placed Joker in the backseat with Tali, immediately dropping the subject as 'she wished'.

She leaned back in the chair, it was rare for her to trust someone else to drive, she was so unfocused she couldn't trust herself. And with a drunk and sleeping Joker and Tali in the back, she wasn't willing to take any chances. When they reached the Normandy, Thane helped her set Joker and Tali in her bed and turned the lights as dim as they would go; they were going to have one hell of a hangover when they came to. Plus it might be funny to see how they react waking up in bed together. She waved goodnight to Thane and sat at her desk with her hamster, talking to it.

"What should I do, Boo?" She sighed. She looked out through the glass filled with ship models at her two sleeping friends. "I would die to protect them, that isn't my question so don't look at me like that." Her hamster stared at her blankly. "But what if I do find Nathan?" Her voice was sad. "He was my best friend…he's the only one left from Mindoir… Is it so wrong to want to hold onto that?" Her hamster squeaked. "But he hates aliens… I know he wouldn't want to come along so long as they are on the ship." He sneezed.

"I could never leave them behind. The thought of losing any of them…" She shook her head, "I won't even consider it. But is it so wrong for the universe to let me have this? Just one piece of my history intact and still in my life?" Her hamster squeaked angrily. "I suppose you are right. We'll know soon enough. If he answers my email, I'll try and make it work. If not…Well I'll deal with it again."

He snorted. "What about him? OW!" The hamster bit her thumb. "Alright alright, I'll go, just…give me a minute."

She put her hamster in the pouch of her hoodie, fed the fish, and set to typing softly on her computer. After getting few pages done she yawned widely, gently setting her sleeping hamster back in his nest. She took a shower and dried her hair before grabbing a pillow and blanked from her bed and hopping in the elevator. She went down to the crew quarters and knocked on Garrus' door.

The sight of him made her grin, he was wearing only those loose pajama pants again, he looked groggy. She knew she shouldn't have come here. There were pages of anti-fraternization laws woven into the Alliance contracts… then again, Garrus, while technically her subordinate, didn't report to the Alliance. _Loophole…._

"So, my bed is occupied by two drunkards, mind if I crash with you on your cot tonight?"

He blinked and looked at his small cot, he grinned lazily at her, "If you think you can resist me."

She smiled at the small bed as he locked the door behind her. She heard the lock click and raised her eyebrow at him. She'd donned her notorious tank top and shorts.

"Don't want people barging in."

"Oh?" She laughed.

"Not while I ask you a very important question." His tone was serious. She looked concerned, he fought the smile. "Do you always seek council from your hamster, Boo? Is it something I should try? Cause I have some questions…"

Her jaw dropped and she grabbed a pillow off the bed and hit him full in the face with it, "You bastard!"

He grinned, exactly the reaction he wanted. "Your pillows are too soft. Maybe I should hit you with one of mine?" He lifted the heavy pillow from his cot and he saw fear in her eyes.

"Don't you dare!" She backed up, holding her pillow like a shield. He took a step forward and she dove under the covers tucking them around her like protective bubble.

"Oh no, whatever will I do." He feigned exasperation, "I guess I'll just wait you out." He leaned back and flopped down on top of her on the bed, he heard her squeak under the covers. She was being playful and a bit childish, and he loved it. He felt a bit silly, and a bit out of character, but if it made her react like this, took some of that weight off her shoulders, it was more than worth it. He'd never seen her act like this before, he wanted to pause time and keep her here in this room, lighthearted and happy. It didn't hurt he was more than a little drunk.

"Ugghhh you are too heavy…" She groaned and tried to wriggle out.

He faked a yawn, "Well, I guess I'll go to sleep then. Not like you're going anywhere."

Her hands shot out from under the covers and pinched him.

"Oh, fighting dirty? Fine." He tickled her beneath the covers and she writhed, kicked and threw punches. Not to mention a significant amount of death threats and profanity.

"What is this? The great commander Shepard is ticklish?"

"I swear to the Spirits, Garrus if you do that again I'll have you shipped off to the backwaters of the traverse so fast your head will spin."

"Promise?" He tickled her again. She eventually managed to kick and punch all of the blankets off the bed and wound up breathless and pinned beneath Garrus; he rubbed his jaw. "Ouch, you really got me that time."

"Good!" She exclaimed between pants. "Tickling is a terrible experience."

"Then why did you laugh so hard?" He wiped a tear from her cheek with one hand, her hands pinned down with his other.

"It's like torture, only you're forced to laugh through it." She let out a deep sigh as she tried to catch her breath. She smiled up at him softly. "I know what you're doing Garrus, thank you."

He blinked at her, she knew the whole time. He shook his head. "One of these days I will surprise you."

"Look at us." She laughed, "Do you remember when we first met on the citadel? All the crap we went through, the times we snapped at each other…did you really see us ending up…well, here? You already surprised me, Garrus."

Then she surprised him, she leaned her face forward and kissed him, he could feel the smile on her lips against his plates. He let her arms free and rolled to the side off of her, taking her with him. She pushed with her legs off the edge of the cot, forcing him to roll until he was on his back with her on top of him. He was about to ask what she was doing when her lips traced feather light kisses along his jaw. He closed his eyes as her lips roved lower to his throat. Her teeth nipped him gently, playfully. He let out a throaty laugh.

"Shepard, I knew you wouldn't be able to resist- Ow!" She bit him harder.

"Smartass." She kissed the underside of his chin.

"Shepard, listen," He pushed her face away from him to look at her; he placed his hands on her hips. "Are we crazy to even be thinking about this?" She blinked and went to get off of him, he held her in place by her hips. "I don't mean that I don't want to, _believe me_, I want to." She settled down, her smile came back. "I just…"

"Garrus, if you aren't comfortable with this it's fine. I don't want you to think I'm pressuring you." She traced her fingers along the plates of his chest. "I want this, almost completely sober me wants this." She laughed lightly, "But if you want to wait…"

He shook his head, "Shepard, you're the only person that isn't family I care about in this screwed up galaxy. You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable, nervous yes, but never uncomfortable." He plunged his fingers into her hair, "I just want to be sure that you're sure. There's no going back from this."

She laughed, "You make it sound like we're in a warzone! Garrus, I care about you, too, and I want you. I'm also straddling you and _trying_ to turn you on. What more do you want from me? Want me to push you away for a few more days?"

He grinned up at her, "Well you know me, I always savor the last shot before popping the heat sink."

She raised her eyebrow at looked down her nose at him. He was confused for a moment then realized what he'd just said.

"That metaphor just went someplace horrible…" He shook his head. "Can we pretend that didn't happen?"

"Not on your life." She leaned forward and kissed him hard. "But if you want I can always let you do some 'calibrations' and come back later."

"Right." He growled, nipping her bottom lip as it hovered over his mouth, "Cause I'm in a great place to optimize firing algorithms right now."

"Regardless, I already talked to Mordin and I'm loaded up on antihistamines so you'd better take advantage while you can." He blinked, "You didn't think I was planning something too? Please, Garrus, I'm not that innocent. If all I wanted to do was sleep, I would have slept on the couch in my room."

She kissed the underside of his chin, her hair falling in a mass against his shoulder. He clenched his teeth and groaned her name before burying his face into her neck, dragging his sharp teeth along her throat. She smiled against his plates as she traced her fingers in the soft spaces between them. He ran his hands along the thin fabric of her tank top, slipping his hands underneath it to touch the warm, soft flesh beneath.

She pushed him down and kissed along the plates of his chest. "You knew exactly what you were doing when you were in my room, didn't you?" She traced small, feather-light kisses between the plates, her hands following the lines lower. His hand glided across her skin and gripped her backside, "Lying there with your shirt off. You ass."

"I'm the ass?" He scoffed and flipped her over to lie beneath him. Her hair fanned out across the pillow, her shirt rode up and exposed her belly, much like before. He grinned, "You in that dress, that was just cruel. Not to mention these shorts, those boots?" He shook his head, "You have no idea how many times I wanted to drag you in here and tear your clothes off."

She leaned forward by his ear and whispered, "Then what are you waiting for?"

His breath caught in his throat. He raked his talons along her side as he bit down hard against her throat, her breath hitched. Her hand pressed against the back of his head to keep him close. She let her other hand rove across the rough plates of his chest and back. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them over her head, she writhed beneath him.

He pinned her with his mouth, his tongue tracing her bottom lip, she opened willingly and his tongue dove to caress her own. There was a raw intensity behind every stroke of his tongue. He tried to pull away to soften the kiss, but she drug his head back down to her mouth, her own tongue delving forward, demanding. His hand ran along her side and slipped into the waistband of her pants, pulling her hips up to press against him. As they broke for air, his teeth grazed her bottom lip and she trembled, a soft moan escaping her lips. The sound sent a shiver across his skin.

He lifted her arms and pulled her tank top off, her hair cascaded back down once it was removed. Grabbing her hips, he sat up and lifted her into his lap to straddle him. He pressed his face against her chest, breathing in the smell of her. Her skin was silken; he fluttered his mandibles against her breast, his hands running along her bra, the lace playing against his fingers. He grazed her skin with his teeth, pushing aside the fabric to run his course tongue along the small bump as his hands roamed over her cool skin, little bumps rose wherever he touched. He slid a hand behind her in an attempt to remove the contraption over her breasts, but he fumbled with the clasp. She laughed softly.

"Trouble?" She murmured. He glowered at her. Her eyes were hazy, but he saw the taunt.

"It's unnecessarily complicated. Honestly… I can field strip a rifle in seconds but this clasp astounds me."

She hooked her arm to her back and with a flick of her thumb the bra came loose. She quirked an eyebrow at him, her teasing expression turning to surprise as he ripped the bra away in one swift motion and buried his face into her breasts. If he could, he would never leave. Forget the Collectors, forget the Reapers, he would happily live out the rest of his existence right here between her breast.

She tried to catch her breath. His mouth was hot against her breast as he savored her, his hands stroking against her, trying to memorize her shape as they explored her. His hands a rough contrast against her skin, one she was thoroughly enjoying. In a few quick motions he had her so turned on she could hardly stand it. She held her breath as he gently bit her; she dug her nails between his plates, trying to pull him closer. She wanted him closer. The urgency of it surprised her.

"You have a very greedy tongue, Mr. Vakarian." Her voice came out on a sigh.

"You have no idea." He growled in response, the sound of it vibrated through her and she shuddered.

He traced his tongue along her collar-bone and his name fell softly from her lips. He tensed, he wanted to make this slow but the way her body was reacting to him, the sheer volume of pheromones was going to make that _very_ difficult.

He ran his hand up her leg, the backs of his fingers brushed against her, causing her to shudder. She was already radiating heat, moving her hips against his hand, her eyes pleading. He slid his hand into her shorts to feel her beneath the fabric. He pressed his lips to hers as he pushed a finger inside of her. She moaned against his mouth as her arms hooked around his neck. He would never get tired of that sound. He slowly moved his finger in and out, her hips rocking against his hand, trying to make him go faster.

It was torture, pure exquisite torture. She wanted satisfaction, and the slow, lazy pace of his hand kept it just out of her reach. Her body began to tremble with it. She pushed harder against his lips as her fingers snaked up behind his crest, raking her nails across the sensitive skin, she felt him tense and for a brief moment, he went faster. She broke the kiss and leaned forward just enough that her lips could reach his neck. She bit down firmly and felt his shudder. He laced his fingers into her hair, pressing her face closer, urging her to continue. She smiled against his skin and nipped gently, her nails dragging against his plates.

"Damnit Shepard." He growled.

He wanted to go slow… that was a lie he wanted to take her now, hard and fast. But for her he wanted to go slow. She was making that very damn difficult, and she was playing dirty. He leaned forward to pin her on the cot beneath him, hooking a finger into her pants to pull them off. She hooked her surprisingly dexterous toes in the waistband of his pants, forcing them down.

"You humans are very nimble creatures." He chuckled softly as he slid out of his pants, letting them fall to the floor.

"You have no idea." She smirked wickedly as her hands came around and gripped the length of him.

He growled softly and bared his teeth, his eyes slamming shut. Her hands were so soft, his arms began to shake under his own weight. Her fingers glided over him, tracing the low ridges that ran from the base to the underside of the head. Her thumb flicked across the angled head and a shudder rocked through him.

"Shepard..." Her name fell past his lips as he collapsed on one elbow as she continued to stroke him. The way she was teasing him, he began to understand why humans had so many fingers. He traced his lips and tongue along her neck.

"Please…I want you." She moaned. The words were sweet music to his ears. He nipped her skin gently and smiled against her throat.

"Say it again."

She moved her hips so she was resting just above the tip, rubbing it against the silky wet heat radiating from her. Her eyes locked with his and she rocked her hips against him, urging him forward.

"I want you inside of me, Garrus Vakarian."

He couldn't restrain himself anymore. It was too much. In one thrust he buried himself inside of her as far as he could, their hips pressing firmly together. Her head flew back and she bit her lip to stifle a moan.

"Oh... Garrus…" She murmured as he cupped the back of her head, resting his chin atop it as he pressed her against his neck. She almost came undone with that one possessive motion. She could barely contain herself as he filled her, deliciously. Her body trembled uncontrollably.

_Spirits…_She was so soft all over. Her muscles contracted and massaged down the length of him and he gritted his teeth and growled. It was better than he'd dreamed, and the way she was moaning his name... He started out slow, long lazy thrusts just reveling in the feel of her. But her hands kept urging him forward, demanding; her legs hooked over his hips, pushing him forward.

Her back arched, he felt incredible. Each thrust forward pushed firmly against the deepest part of her, each withdrawal heightened her sensitivity as each rib slid out of her. She couldn't stand it, but she never wanted it to stop. She felt the familiar heat begin to pool, radiating from her core, the pressure building low in her belly as her muscles tightened. She bit her lip hard and gripped his shoulders. Had it been seconds? Minutes? Hours? For the first time in what felt like forever, time didn't matter.

His head lowered to her breast and he devoured her, lazy strokes of his tongue lit every nerve on fire. The heat radiating off her skin, the way her body shook beneath him, the heady scent of her desire. His arm coiled around her, pressing her close as he picked up the pace, his thrusts more demanding. He gripped her hip firmly, forcing her harder against him. Her breath grew shallow, soft cries slipping past her lips and cascading over his skin.

His mouth came back to hers as her climax racked through her body, the tremor of it shaking through him, forcing his own release. Light flashed behind her eyes as she moaned loudly against his mouth, his tongue drinking in her cries. With a few final thrusts, he spilled himself inside her.

Their eyes met, each of them trembling, weak, spent. He kissed her forehead.

"That…" She panted, unable to form the rest of her sentence. A blush covered her cheeks.

"Was incredible…" He finished, her long sigh ended on a winded laugh. He nuzzled into her neck, a grin plastered to his face.

"Garrus….are you purring?" She held her breath a moment and it sounded like a subtle but deep purr resonated through him, she felt the vibration against her chest and neck.

"Purring?" He quirked an eyebrow and shifted to look at her.

"Its…never mind." She laughed gently and kissed him gently. The sound was oddly relaxing. They pressed their foreheads together, she couldn't stop smiling. They sat like this for a few moments before Garrus cleared his throat.

"I don't want to be the one to ruin the moment but…." He hesitated, trying to find the right words. "Are you going to be…you know… ok?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him and tilted her head.

"I mean," He let out a sigh and gave up, "You aren't going to go into anaphylaxis are you?"

She laughed, "Garrus I'm on enough steroids and antihistamines right now that I'm sure I could inject myself with almonds and not be phased."

He didn't get it.

"I'm allergic to almonds." She said with a light laugh. She cupped his cheek in her hand, "Relax Garrus, I'm fine." She kissed him gently.

"Now I feel all dirty and clinical." He chuckled and kissed her once more before slipping out of her. He didn't want to, he wanted to keep going, for the rest of the night…day… week. But he had been drunk when they'd started, and now, two hours later, he was starting to feel a bit hungover. He'd sobered up during, who wouldn't? But now that everything had settled down, he was starting to feel it again.

She dressed and went to the restroom, leaving him to his thoughts in the battery. At least he intended to think. He was exhausted. He pulled his pants back on and fixed the bed, the sheets had all been pushed off. He pressed his back to the wall when he laid down, making sure to leave room for her. He watched the door, waiting for her to come back. His eyes felt heavy, his body felt as though years of stress had been removed. He yawned widely.

She grinned at her reflection in the mirror. She'd taken a quick shower to be safe, and the hot water only added to the blush already on her cheeks. The scuff marks on her skin where the friction of his plates hit, the marks down her side from his talons raking her skin stood red in the light. She ran her finger down one in thought.

_Now what…_ She sighed. She felt very satisfied, but a nagging voice in her head kept demanding to know what she was going to do next. No it wasn't technically fraternization…technically. But she still knew it was going to disrupt the dynamic of the crew. She shook her head, she was too tired to think about this now. She took a step towards the door and froze. She stared at her reflection.

This had been exactly what she needed. Her nights of tossing and turning, nightmares waking her, unable to make her mind shut up for five seconds so she could truly relax, and now one evening with Garrus had her mind in a pleasant hum. She felt light. And while she knew it would all be over tomorrow, she at least had this tonight.

She walked back into the battery, she wasn't concerned of anyone seeing her since they were all passed out drunk. Except for one drell, who was returning to his room from the mess. He grinned at her and she blushed redder than a tomato. He disappeared behind the door to life support and she immediately bee-lined it for the battery. She locked the door behind her and was about to tell Garrus when she saw him.

He'd fallen asleep. He was covered to the waist in blankets, his shirtless form draped across the just too small bed. His chest rose and fell in the soft, shallow breaths of a deep sleep. The blankets were parted in front of him, inviting her to join. He didn't wonder if she would come back, it was just expected. She felt her heart squeeze as she slid in the sheets beside him, pulling the blankets up to cover them both to the shoulder.

No sooner had she laid down did his hand come around her waist, pulling her tightly against him. He nuzzled his face into her hair as he let out a sigh, his breathing sounding very close to a soft purr. She laced her fingers with his and smiled, snuggling against his chest before quickly drifting off to sleep.

Garrus was having a wonderful dream, the only downside was he lost function of his left arm. Something moved against him, he panicked briefly and his eyes shot open, it wasn't a dream. Shepard was snuggled up against him, her head resting on his bent arm, weighing it down. He grinned as wide as a Turian could feeling his fingers laced with hers, the warmth of her body, heard the softness of her breath. He buried his face into her hair and quickly fell back asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Garrus gathered up his gear to head down to Tuchanka. Shepard was overjoyed. She and Garrus had shared his cot, the camera she'd creepily set up in her room recorded a hilarious seen of Joker and Tali freaking out, and now she was getting to see Wrex. He was fairly certain Wrex was her favorite part. By the time he had everything together, she was standing in the shuttle bay before everyone else and bouncing on her heels.

"Morning!" She said beaming, her skin was practically glowing.

"Morning…How much coffee have you had?" He grumbled, barely making it through his first cup without nearly dozing off. The night before she had slept with him on his cot, it was the best sleep he'd had in a long time, for more than one reason. But last night she slept up in her own bed, since it was vacant of drunkards. All the sudden his just too small cot seemed too large. He'd tossed and turned most the night, barely dozing.

"None. I'm just really excited to see Wrex!"

"That's obvious." He shook his head and loaded on the shuttle, yawning widely. "How are you even sure that its him? The report just said 'Chief Urdnot'."

"Do you really think Wrex would let anyone else be chief? Not a chance." She sat next to him, Grunt and Mordin followed shortly after. "So first we are going after Maelon, we have to make sure he's ok. Grunt, are you ok to wait at the Urdnot base till we get back?"

He grunted with a nod. "I want to see Tuchanka, this home world Krogan don't shut up about."

They landed and made their way down the landing pad. The over-captain mentioning something about a 'Rite', maybe that's what Grunt needed? She nodded and made her way through the rubble.

"Can't wait to get off this rock and show those Turians whose boss." A Krogan growled. She took a step closer to Garrus.

"Those Salarians too, think they're so smart. Needed us to fight the Rachni didn't they?" Another growled in response, she turned to stand behind Mordin, placing herself between him and the two Krogan.

"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring you." She mumbled to Garrus.

"Nonsense. If it is Wrex, I'll be fine."

And it was. She saw him as soon as they climbed the rubble ramp. He sat on his throne like a bored king, listening to a vassal gripe as it paced the dias. She punched Garrus in the shoulder as an 'I told you so' before walking up to approach, she was blocked by two Krogan guards. .

"He is in talks. You must wait until summoned. "

She was about to argue when Wrex noticed her, "Shepard."

"Good enough?" She grinned at the guard and pushed past, rushing up to Wrex. "Wrex!"

He reached out a hand and she grabbed it firmly, patting him on the shoulder. He grinned as wide as a Krogan could as he shook her arm, hand on her shoulder.

"You look good for dead. It's good to see you, my friend." She followed him back to the throne as he sat. "How's the Normandy?"

"Destroyed in a Collector attack." She half laughed, "I ended up spaced."

"Should have known the void couldn't hold you." He laughed, "Ah, the benefits of a redundant nervous system."

She rubbed her neck, "Yeah…humans don't have that."

"Ah, must have been painful."

"Like you wouldn't believe." She laughed. "So, _Chief_ Urdnot Wrex, huh?"

"I'm not doing it for me, I do it for all Krogan. I plan to unite us, we will be one people again." The vassal that had been arguing with him voiced his protest, which Wrex responded in typical Krogan fashion, with an earth shattering head-butt. "Speak when spoken to Uvenk, I'll drag your clan to glory whether you like it or not." She followed him to the throne as Uvenk slinked off across the diaz. "Now, Shepard, what brings you here?"

"A couple of things actually." She motioned Grunt to move forward, "I have a Krogan on my crew, he may be sick and needs treatment."

Wrex looked him over, sizing him up. "Where are you from, whelp? Was your clan destroyed before you could learn what was expected of you?"

"I have no clan, I was tank bred by warlord Okeer."

"That is an old name…a very hated name."

"He is dead."

Wrex stood from the throne and approached, "Of course he is. You're with Shepard, how could he be alive?"

She blinked, what the hell was that supposed to mean? She looked at Garrus, who shook his head and grinned. Seriously, what the hell?

Uvenk threw a fit when Wrex suggested they go see the Shaman for the Rite before he stormed off. She sighed, he was going to be a problem. She mentioned Maelon and was instructed to go see the scout, which she did. After speaking with him, she got distracted. She felt something staring at her. She turned and looked to her left and locked eyes with a very large varren. Garrus turned towards her.

"Shepard, are you ready to go?" He touched her shoulder and she whirled around to face him, "Shepard?"

"Yeah… One second." She turned on her heel and jogged up a ramp to speak with a Krogan and a very large varren. She bought something from the store and handed it to the varren, kneeling in front of it to pet it. Garrus rushed up behind her, what the hell was she thinking? Those things were dangerous. Upon his approach, the varren growled threateningly.

"Easy, Urz, he's a friend." The varren quieted immediately at her soothing tone. The varren cooed and pressed its massive head against her leg to be pet.

Garrus stared at her as she knelt down to snuggle the varren as if it were a puppy. "Urz?"

"Yeah, poor guys owner was killed. Now he doesn't have anyone. But, according to Ratch, he likes me." She beamed.

"You know we can't keep him, right?"

"Jeez, Garrus. Can't let me have this for a few seconds can you?" She rolled her eyes and stood, heading towards the trucks, varren hard on her heels. She opened the door and he leapt in immediately, she motioned for Garrus and Mordin to follow.

"You don't honestly think having him on the Normandy would work."

"Sometimes even I like to lie to myself." She rolled her eyes and leapt into the tomkah.

He shook his head and loaded in after her. The entire time they were picking their way through the blood pack his mind was working, trying to see if she was mad at him or not. He was too tired for this much mental effort. Though her new pet did seem very loyal, and tore open a few Krogan when they go to close.

"That's not good, hospitals are no fun to fight through." He shook his head, his expression dire.

She turned her head and raised an eyebrow at him, a light smirk on her lips. "Ok, I'll bite. What is fun to fight through?"

"…Gardens...Antique shops but only if they're classy…" She chuckled, he grinned. She wasn't really mad at him. Why was he so antsy about it? Shepard was never like other girls who held their frustrations in until one large relationship ending argument. If something managed to get under her skin she charged the problem like everything else in her life, head-on. He paused, relationship? Had they established anything of the sort?

Mordin found a human lying on the ground and they went through all the possibilities of why this human had been taken, why he had been tortured. They entered a room and the 'speaker for clan Weyrlock' began his tirade. She rolled her eyes.

"If I were to run now, I might trip over one of the hundred dead 'mighty Weyrlocks' we took out on the way in." She quirked a brow at him and he began ranting about a great crimson tide.

"You do not understand! You have not seen the piles of children yet to live!" She visibly tensed. "The Krogan were wronged…and we will have our revenge!"

"You talk too much." She shot the gas tank beneath him, Garrus saw where she was going with it and pulled Mordin back a few feet. The Krogan barely finished his critique before he realized, too late, what her intentions were. The explosion lit them up, the fuel seeping into their armor, burning them from within. They dropped to the ground as piles of ash. Urz killed a vorcha that came up behind them and in a few quick shots, the rest of the opponents were dropped. She pushed forward into the main lab.

_Trying to cure the Genophage…_ Urz bumped her hand impatiently, she shook her head and took a few steps into the lab. They found the female Krogan on the operating table. She hadn't been restrained, she hadn't been tortured… she'd volunteered. Shepard felt sick to her stomach and turned her head to the side, a hand on her stomach. She'd learned after Akuze, a pipe that had penetrated her abdomen had caused a violent infection. Along with two feet of intestine, she'd also been rendered sterile. She cringed at how the Krogan women felt, they weren't even physically defective. She felt sick. Mordin placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Commander, are you ill? Do you need medication? I have some in my—"

"I'm fine, Mordin." Her tone was sharp but she softened it with a smile, "Thank you…I know you probably don't want to hear this Mordin, but they were robbed, and these are the lengths they go to. _Anything_ to have a child growing up strong beside them." She gestured to the female, "Even this."

Mordin said a prayer over the Krogan female and she smiled at him gently.

"Have to find Maelon…have to stop this pointless…_pointless_ waste of life."

She gave a pep talk to an injured Krogan scout moments before killing the chief of the clan. Maelon fought against Mordin, pushed the blame to him. Her heart ached for him, his pupil set out to undo the works of the master, using barbaric methods. Maelon panicked, waving his gun wildly, Mordin moved faster than she'd ever seen him move and pinned Maelon to the wall, gun waving in his face.

She barely had the time to talk him out of pulling the trigger, she was sure Maelon pissed himself in fear. They downloaded the data, she'd learned early in her career that its always better to have things like this and let them collect dust, than to look back and curse yourself for destroying it.

Shepard rolled out her shoulder as Wrex shook his head.

"You just cant help making trouble. No ones killed a thresher maw since my rite. Next you'll tell me he's a quint, and craps dark matter." He sighed, "Guess that's what it takes to replace me."

"Aw, c'mon Wrex, I'm surprised you expected any less of me." She smiled back.

"With as many times as you've stepped in a mess for your crew? I don't know what I was thinking."

She hugged Urz tightly and passed him off to Wrex, a strong clan leader needed a strong Varren at his side, and Urz would be happier here.

"Oh, and Shepard?" She turned to face Wrex, "Keep that Turian in line." He gave her a wink before walking back up to the diaz, Urz in tow. She blinked and her cheeks blushed red.

_How the hell…_


	14. Chapter 14

The days all started to blend together. With each day that passed, someone else needed her over in this star cluster; then the next day she was needed in a star cluster on the other side of the galaxy. Cries of help in the form of emails flooded her inbox. She couldn't save them all, and she knew it. The best thing for her to do was take out the collectors. Now.

She leaned over the galaxy map and tried to organize her thoughts. Her and Zaeed were surprisingly closer after their argument at the refinery. Salvation over destruction, any day. Miranda's sister was safe, Jacobs dad was behind bars…Jack's request had been a bit rough. The thought that she could have easily ended up there as a child; that she could have been taken by slavers, injected with drugs and tortured in the name of 'science'….it was all too real. She thought of her friends that had been taken…How, if it weren't for Nihlus, she would have been killed or taken…

She looked up at the Galaxy map, spinning lazily in front of her. They had just picked up a reaper IFF, from an actual reaper, supposedly this was all they needed to get to the collector base. But that wasn't the part that interested her. They'd also snatched up a geth, a geth who not only spoke, but knew her name and was wearing a piece of N7 armor with some very familiar scuffs. She leaned against the railing and twiddled her thumbs.

She knew geth were dangerous, and her experiences thus far were them shooting at her. It wasn't like letting Grunt out of his tank, that was a Krogan and she'd spent so much time with Wrex hunting Saren that as a whole she trusted them. And they couldn't hack her ship in seconds. He'd also saved her life when two husks crept up behind her and her crew. She remembered the gentle breeze as the bullets flew past her head to obliterate the skull of the husks. If he wanted to kill her, he would have done it then. She owed him her life, and being indebted to a Geth was not a feeling that sat well with her.

She pushed off the railing and hopped in the elevator. When she got to the med bay, Garrus was leaning against a bed talking to Chakwas.

"Hey, what's up?"

He pushed off the bed and walked towards the AI core, "I'm here as back up."

"Garrus…"

"Relax," He interrupted, holding up his hands, "I'm unarmed."

She smiled at him and shook her head. She missed him. Yeah they were on the same ship and she'd taken him on almost all the missions, but outside of that she was too swamped in paperwork to go visit him down in the battery. He'd come up a few times to her cabin, at least, she thought he did. There were a few nights where she distinctly remembered being on her couch or at her desk, and had woken up the next morning tucked into bed. He hadn't pressed anything, to which she was grateful, she cared about him, sure, but trying to form a relationship right before attacking the collectors? Not the best idea.

"EDI, be ready, I'm reactivating the Geth."

He wanted to protest, but knew better and held his tongue. He knew she wouldn't toss it out the airlock without knowing it was guilty first. Her kindness was going to get her killed one day. Luckily for her she had a cynical Turian watching over her shoulder. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door.

As soon as she got the go-ahead, she began to reactivate the geth. After a couple of tries, it looked around quickly, as if trying to get a handle on the situation. It sat up immediately, standing to face Shepard. Garrus pushed off the wall, waiting. The geth froze and stared at her.

"Can you understand me?" She asked gently.

"Yes." Its voice grated.

"Are you going to attack me?"

"No." It stated matter-of-factly.

"Why not? Every geth I've met before you has tried to blow my head off…" She ran a hand through her hair.

"We are geth. And we have not met." He explained that all geth are a single unit, and that the ones she had faced before were not true geth, but 'Heretics' who supported the Old Machines. She was a bit creeped out that the geth were watching her, but she shook her head and ignored it for now.

"And you don't support the old machines?"

"No, Geth build our own future, the Heretics asked the old machines to give them one."

"What future are you building?" She crossed her arms.

"Ours."

She was silent for a moment, then continued. "So…You want to fight the reapers? You want to help us?"

"Shepard-commander opposes the old machines, Shepard-commander opposes the Heretics." The geth made a hand gesture, "Cooperation furthers mutual goals."

She smiled, deactivating the barrier, "Well then, what should we call you?"

"Geth."

"I need a little less of a point and shoot name…What is _your_ name?"

"We are geth…. There are currently 1,183 runtimes in this platform."

"I can't just call out 'Geth' in a battle situation, you'll get shot." She smiled at him.

"Our name is Legion, for we are many." EDI added. And so the Geth was named 'Legion'.

She had to ask, "So, why are you wearing N7 armor?"

"It was yours."

"…Mine?" She shook her head, "Why use my armor?"

"We encountered resistance from the Heretics on Ilos while trying to find Shepard-Commander after your disappearance, this was the result of the following altercation." He gestured to the hole in his chest.

"That's a long time to walk around with a hole in your chest… Why didn't you repair it sooner? Why wait to use my armor?"

"…No data available." The geth looked away.

"I think you have a fan, Shepard." Garrus grinned.

Shepard felt terrible. She hated the idea of taking over the Heretics future, but it needed to happen, or the reapers would be stronger. After confirming with Legion that the Heretics _could_ be rewritten by the reapers should they return, she had to destroy them. It made her sick to her stomach to kill so many in a single blow. Before meeting Legion, she would have jumped for joy, but now that she knew more about the geth… she hated it.

She went to the bar on the crew deck and was a few drinks in when her omni-tool lit up like a light. Her breath caught in her throat.

_ Nathan…_ He'd finally replied. He wanted to meet her on the Citadel, an address was enclosed for a noodle house on Zakera ward. They were already on their way to the Citadel, they would arrive in the next hour. She wanted to meet with Anderson before they hit the base, just to be sure he knew how much he meant to her just in case she didn't make it back. She shook her head, she couldn't think like that. She had to stay strong for her crew.

She pushed away from the bar and stood, heading back to the elevator. She still hadn't filed her report from the Heretics base and she wanted to get it done while its events were still fresh. The door opened and she rode up in silence. After she finished her report, she hunted through what little civilian clothes she had for something to wear to see Nathan.

She settled on the boots, leggings with the large belt, and a loose fitting lilac sweater. She pulled out a necklace she'd kept hidden in her drawer, Nathan had given it to her for her 16th birthday, two weeks before the Batarian attack.

Miranda informed her that most of the crew had a few things to take care of on the citadel, and they all rode down in the shuttle together while Joker and EDI pieced together the IFF into the Normady's systems.

Garrus was being stubborn. He wanted to go with her. She hadn't told him exactly where she was going, only that she had something to take care of on Zakera ward. She tried to stress that it was personal but the man was too damn good at reading her and knew she was stressed.

"Not now, Garrus. I'll tell you about it later." Her patience was wearing thin.

"Yes, now. What is going on with you?" He leaned against the rapid transport and blocked her exit.

"It's not your business." She crossed her arms, "And I don't want to talk about it."

He quirked a brow plate at her.

"No."

He shifted back on his heel and stared her down.

She shifted back on her hips and caved, "I'm meeting Nathan. He isn't a fan of aliens and I don't want you scaring him off."

"Scare him off? Me? I'm hurt." He shook his head, "At least let me walk you there. That area of Zakera ward is too dangerous for you to go alone and unarmed."

"I was by myself for a long time, Garrus, and this time it's a place as civil as the Citadel. I'll be fine, don't follow me." She pushed past him and vanished, he stared off after her. She wanted to rush off and face her past alone, without him.

"Like hell." He muttered, following from a distance.

After a few shuttles, they wound up in a very seedy part of the wards, it almost looked like the slums of Omega. Shepard walked up to a run-down noodle house. She looked around confused for a moment before her omni-tool lit up. She answered, a smile immediately lit her face. She was too far for him to hear. After a few moments she walked down an alley and approached a door.

She knocked on the door to an apartment, and it opened just wide enough for her to slip inside, locking shut behind her. Garrus didn't like this one bit, it all seemed so suspicious. He heard her shout from inside and didn't stop to think. He hacked the door quickly and rushed inside to see her grinning with her arms around the neck of some human with blond hair. Her eyes went wide when she saw him, her face white as a sheet as her smile fell, she looked frightened. What had he just walked in on?

The man turned around and saw him, his face immediately flushed red as he reached for his gun, which Shepard took from him effortlessly, holding his arm and pleading with him.

"Wait!" He tried to shove her off, "Nathan, _this_ is Garrus."

The man's lilac eyes flashed to meet hers, "_Him?" _The disgust was plain in his voice.

"Yes, please calm down, he won't hurt you." She moved to stand in front of him, blocking Garrus behind her.

"Arri I was so happy to hear from you…and now you show up with …._that._" He practically growled. "After everything aliens have done to us you end up fucking one?" He spat. Garrus saw her cringe, he wanted to kill him. Who the hell did this human think he was?

"Nathan, Garrus had nothing to do with Mindoir." She held her hands up. "Just, please, wait one second." Nathan nodded, glowering at Garrus.

She walked back over to Garrus and grabbed him by the elbow, all but shoving him out the door.

"Shepard what the—" He began, only to be cut short.

"One fucking request, was it that hard to let me go off by myself?" She pushed her hands into her hair angrily, "Son of a bitch, Garrus, do you really think I'm that incapable?"

"Of course not." He tried to find the words to explain himself but she didn't give him the chance.

"Go back to the presidium. Now." He went to protest but she cut him off, her tone low. "That is an order, Vakarian."

She went back inside and didn't wait for a reply, she slammed the door behind her. She let out a sigh. _What am I thinking?_ She just bit Garrus' head off, she knew he was just worried, but it still ate at her. Why was she protecting Nathan so furiously? She hadn't seen Nathan since Mindoir, she knew he would hate Garrus, that's why she wanted to explain everything about him, make Nathan like the person he was before finding out that he was a Turian. But then Garrus had to follow her, what was he thinking? She shook her head, she was being ridiculous. Garrus came to help her if she needed it and she'd just bit his head off, and the look on his face when she addressed him the way she did when they'd met…she owed him one hell of an apology. She looked back to the door and almost went through it before Nathan spoke.

"Is it gone?" His tone was acid.

"He." She shot him a look, "And yes."

She sat beside him on the couch, "Listen, I know you hate aliens but they aren't all bad."

He shot her a look, "Arri, you have no idea what you are saying. You left Mindoir first chance you got and left us all behind. You didn't see the aftermath like we did, like I did. You were too busy playing nice with the monsters who took everything from us."

"I had to. I looked at the buildings and all I remembered was fire, being beaten, being covered in blood, my parents… And it was the _Batarians_; not the Quarians, not the Krogan; not the Turians, not even the freaking Geth, just the Batarians."

"They're all the same."

"Nathan, please." She put her hand on his shoulder, "You have to give them a chance."

"Why?" He shouted, standing. "What have they done to earn it!?"

"For starters, letting us on the Citadel in the first place, but that list goes on and on. Personally? My crew has saved my life more times than I can count." She sighed and stood. "Nathan, I love you, you know that, I would love to have you back in my life." His face softened slightly.

"Make a choice, Arri. Me, or them." He turned his face from her.

She stood from the couch without hesitation. . "Don't think for an _instant_ that I would abandon them for you."

"Wait!" He grabbed her wrist, "It's been so long, Arri, don't you at least want to catch up?"

He stroked his thumb inside of her wrist and her stomach lurched, she wrenched free from his grasp.

"No. I don't." She shook her head, "I'm sorry I ever contacted you. It would have been so much better to have never seen you again, to only have that ideal image of who you used to be. Not this."

She couldn't stop the tears. She stormed out of the room before he could catch her, sprinting to the nearest transport terminal. Hell yes she was running away, she was going to run as hard and fast as she could from this, to leave her past behind before it destroyed her. She buried her face in her hands once she sat down in the cab and was safely away, she hoped Garrus would forgive her.

She exited the shuttle and went to Anderson.

Garrus saw her run out, her distress apparent. He went to go after her but caught the scent of her tears and stopped dead in his tracks. That bastard made her cry. Made _his_ Shepard cry. He pivoted on his heel and turned back towards the apartment, knocking softly.

The door whooshed open and Nathan had a sleazy grin, obviously expecting someone else. The grin fell into a sneer when they locked eyes. Garrus was easily half a foot taller than him, so he had intimidation on his side.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing here?" Nathan growled at Garrus who stood calmly on the doorstep.

"I'm not entirely sure." He pushed his way into the house and looked around. It was minimally furnished, but looked much nicer on the inside. "Looks like you spent your royalties well."

"What are you talking about? Get out of my house, filth."

"Tell me, you know Shepard, even strangers can easily access her email, yet you never once contacted her since Mindoir, why is that?" Garrus crossed his arms.

"That's none of your god damned business." He snapped.

"Are all colonials this foul-mouthed?" He shook his head, he was worse than Shepard, "I'm asking how even though you didn't try and call her, _ever,_ you expect her to drop the entire life she's built for herself, for _you_?"

"Why not? She's mine. She's loyal. That's more than you aliens could ever understand." He gestured to the door. "Now get out. She'll be back any minute and I don't want you here when she comes."

"What do you mean, 'shes mine'? Please, you don't honestly think she thinks of you that way." He let out a laugh, and hoped not.

"Of course she does, why else would she have called me, not been able to stop thinking about me after all this time? She's always wanted me." He smirked, Garrus couldn't stop himself. He punched him in the jaw, hard.

"Listen, you can think whatever you want but I'm going to let you in on a little something called the truth." He crouched down over Nathan as he held his nose to stop the bleeding, "Shepard is _mine_, and I'll be damned if a sniveling brat like you will ever take her from me." He stood. "I came here to convince you to make up, to get you to see how much you were hurting her by being so obstinate. Now I see you would only hurt her more if you did. Do everyone a favor, stay in your hole."

He turned to leave and glowered over his shoulder. "And just in case you were thinking of following, I want you to know I am _very _good at long range."

He turned and stormed off, taking a cab back to the shuttle.

She smiled at Anderson, he always knew just what to say. She went to hug him goodbye when all of the sudden her omni-tool began blaring an alarm. Her face when white as she listened to the message and she ran to the shuttle to find Garrus. He saw the alarm on her face and immediately approached, bracing a hand on her arm.

"Whats wrong?"

"It's the Normandy…The collectors hit and… Oh god Garrus they took everyone..."


	15. Chapter 15

The instant the shuttle touched down, Shepard bolted. She saw the damage but had to see, had to be sure. She combed every deck, top to bottom, a hollow emptiness permeated the air. She found Joker in the conference room and immediately wrapped her arms tightly around him.

Miranda came in less than pleased.

"Everyone? You lost _everyone_?" She fumed, "And damn near lost the ship too?"

"Can it Miranda." Shepard snapped. She let go of Joker and her tone softened, "What happened?"

He filled them in on every gruesome detail. The IFF was corrupted and transmitted their location to the Collectors, only through unshackling EDI was he able to save the Normandy.

"How about now? Are we good? We can't risk this happening again."

Joker confirmed it.

"Don't even get me started about unshackling a damned AI." Miranda growled and shook her head. Shepard had enough. She charged Miranda, stopping only inches from her face.

"I understand you have your opinions but please be so kind as to shut your fucking mouth." She pointed at Joker, "He's a fucking hero and did the best that he could. And if you so much as _look_ at him like that one more fucking time I swear I will toss your sorry ass out of the airlock, are we clear?"

Miranda stayed calm and stared directly back, then backed down, "Crystal."

She turned to Joker, "Is it ready?"

"Yeah…we can hit them whenever you want." He blinked at her sudden and intense rage.

"Then get up to your chair and lets make it happen. Its time to show the Collectors what happens when you fuck with me." She left the room. She paused in the mess hall, staring at the empty chairs. Each one was like a punch in the gut. She went up to her room.

She shoved her fingers into her hair and flung herself on the bed, burying her face in her pillow. The bed sunk down beside her and she turned her head to see Garrus lying on his back beside her.

"I'm sorry, Shepard." He sighed, "I shouldn't have followed you. I know you can handle yourself but… you were acting strangely and I was concerned."

"We sure do apologize a lot." She shook her head and propped herself up on one arm. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, Garrus. I promise I won't ever leave you behind without good reason, if you promise to trust me when I do. Deal?"

He smiled and ran a hand into her hair, she put her own against his and smiled. "Deal."

She curled up on her side against him. "Is this my punishment?" her voice was broken.

"What could you have done to deserve punishment?" He ran his fingers idly through her hair.

The comm. piped up, "Call coming in from the illusive man, Commander."

"I'll be down in a second." She looked over at Garrus and let out a sigh. "I was selfish."

She stood and went to the elevator, leaving him alone in her cabin.

Five minutes later the ship lurched beneath him, sending him tumbling to the floor. The window above her cabin showed thousands of wrecked ships. He hit the ground running and made it to the cockpit in no time. They'd passed through the relay, there was no going back.

They dealt with the nuisance in the cargo hold before heading back up. They showed the collectors their new 'teeth' and took out the ship that destroyed the old Normandy. She felt an odd sense of gratification in seeing the Collectors being spaced. Delayed revenge, but revenge none the less.

They hit the base hard, the Normandy skidding to ha halt amongst the debris. She gathered everyone in the comm. room.

"This isn't how we planned this to go down but this is where we are at." She let out a sigh. "We can't worry about the Normandy, Joker and EDI will take care of her. We need to focus on taking out this station. I don't know about you all but I fully intend on returning to tell this story."

She received a few adamant nods. She didn't like the idea of splitting into two teams, though she agreed it would be the best route. Tali solemnly accepted taking the ventilation shaft.

"I'll lead the second team, commoner." Miranda volunteered. Jack protested, and Garrus shook his head in agreement. "This isn't a popularity contest! You need someone who can command loyalty through experience."

She didn't hesitate, no matter how much it killed her.

"Garrus, I want you to lead the second fire team." She hated not having him with her, and with a look, she knew he felt the same. But if there was someone who could get her crew through safely, it was him. He nodded and they shared a look, each asking the other to be careful, that they'd better see each other on the other side of those doors.

"I don't know what we are going to find in there, but I won't lie to you. It's not going to be easy. We've lost good people." She braced her hands on the table, her head hung low, "We may lose more."

She slammed her fist into the glass, "The Collectors attacked our ship. They took our crew, our friends. They think we're helpless, _they are wrong._ They started a war, but we are not here to finish it. We are here to make them _regret_ – to show them, and everyone else what happens when you go too far. No more running, and no more waiting." She pointed to the heart of the map, "Lets hit them where they live."

The crew filtered out to grab their gear and Shepard motioned for Garrus to stay behind. Once the door was closed, she threw her arms around him and surprised him with a passionate kiss.

"I'd better see your scaly ass on the other side of those doors."

"You won't get rid of me that easily."

They stayed in radio contact the entire way through. She had to press forward faster than she would have liked to keep Tali from cooking. She took a few shots in the back as punishment for her impatience, but it was worth it to not hear her cries of pain in her ear. Harbinger kept controlling the Collectors, launching powerful fire attacks at her, she gladly ripped him to shreds with incendiary ammo. She unlocked the final valve to get Tali through to open the doors and get Garrus and his crew safely behind the doors.

Tali was a welcome sight for sore eyes. Garrus rolled through the open doors and out of range from the Collectors, Tali set to work on getting the door shut. He pushed her aside.

"Get Shepard's door open, we'll cover you." He'd be damned if she got over run.

They heard a loud explosion, Shepard's curse rang out through the com. As soon as the door was open Legion and Grunt rolled in, she backed in slowly, unloading her thermal clips into a Scion.

"Suppressing fire! Don't let anyone get through that door!" He shouted and the entire crew backed her up until Tali was able to get the door shut.

"Good job Tali, I knew I could count on you." She patted the girls shoulder and grinned. She looked Garrus over, noticing only a few scuffs on him. He came over to her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Scion got a good hit in but it just took out my shields, I'll be fine." She patted his shoulder and went to see what Miranda was going on about.

Pods lined the walls. She saw a colonist in one and ran her hand across the window. _What is this thing made of? What is it for?_ As if on cue, fluid began to spray in the tank. The colonist awoke and began screaming as her flesh melted from her. She panicked and flung herself at the pod to no avail, disintegrating into a pile of liquid in the pod. Her eyes shot to the side, Chakwas, Chambers…she saw her crew lined up against the wall in the pods.

"Get them out of there! NOW!" She shouted as she set to work on Dr. Chakwas' pod. It cracked open and she caught her, easing her to the ground.

Once seeing the doctor and the rest of the crew was alright, and blatantly ignoring Miranda, she had Mordin escort the survivors back to the ship. She selected Garrus to lead the diversion team.

"I'll keep them busy, you slip around the back. Take care of yourself."

"You too." She, Legion, and Grunt headed out with Samara. They stayed very close to the now defenseless Justicar, making sure to keep her body between Samara and the enemy.

"Garrus here, team is in position and awaiting your orders, Shep-" His voice cut out, she cursed under her breath.

They fought _hordes_ of collectors and husks. She was nearly out of ammo when they reached the exit. Samara blasted the collectors back with a surprising last push before the doors slammed shut behind them.

"…Do you copy? Come on, Shepard, where are you?"

"I copy. Whats your position?" He was pinned down at the door, they opened it immediately and offered suppressing fire. They made their way in and just before the doors shut, she heard it. A bullet connecting with a solid thunk, she turned to look and saw Garrus hunch over. It felt like a knife was being ripped through her heart. She rushed to his side. He stood tall to face her and nodded, her hand lingered on his arm and she let out a short breath before letting go.

She pulled up her com once more, "Joker? Are you at the rendezvous?"

"Yeah, Mordin's group just arrived, everyone's accounted for commander."

"Commander, hostiles are massing outside the door. It will not be long before they are through." EDI piped up.

"A rear guard could defend this position and keep it from being overrun. Pick a small team, the rest will cover your back, Shepard."

She wasn't leaving him behind again. She motioned for Garrus to join her, Grunt as well. She turned to the rest of the crew and smiled softly at them.

"The collectors, as powerful as they are, they're cowards. They've never had to stand and fight the best of us…you." She grinned down at them, "I don't know if they can feel fear, but we're damned sure going to give them the opportunity. It's time to finish this, not for us, not for Cerberus, for the thousands of men and women, children and parents who will never see each other again. We do it for them. " She nodded her head affirmatively,

The platform lurched beneath them and began to leave. "They call this a suicide mission, I've made a living off of the impossible and so have you. Let's prove them wrong."

"This structure is a reaper." A chill went up her spine and her stomach lurched when she saw the massive abomination.

"A human reaper…" She spotted the tubes EDI mentioned, filled with liquid from the processed humans. This thing had to die.

They killed wave after wave of Collector that tried to stop them, but they managed to get the tubes all destroyed. A well placed shot sent the last tube shattering, raining the liquid down upon them. Shepard ran to the side and threw up what little she'd eaten that day. She felt a hand on her back.

"Yeah…I'm good." She wiped her face with her glove, "It's the smell…"

She shook her head and walked over to a console, all she had to do was place the bomb here and this entire place, including the reaper, would be blown to hell. Garrus approached her.

"You have a call, Shepard, give you one guess who." He rolled his eyes and opened up the comm. to the illusive man.

"And here I thought we wouldn't have radio contact. Can your face _not _be the last one I see before I die?" She growled and motioned for Grunt to hand her the bomb, she began to weave it into the framework.

"Shepard. You've done the impossible."

"I'm not done yet. This base is about ten minutes from extinction." She began typing in the console. One more button press and this base would be ten minutes from gone. She sent the signal for other forces to retreat back to the Normandy.

"Wait! I have a better option." He interjected.

"Oh I can't wait to hear this." She sat back on her heel and grinned up at his hologram. "Let me guess, there is valuable data here and you want me to try and salvage it for you. But wait, it may endanger the rest of my crew but that's ok! Because you'll get the information you want, sound about right?"

"A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact." He made a fist, "Let's use their technology against them! Destroying this base won't bring the colonists back."

"Wow…" She gave him a slow clap. "That's…almost impressive." She stood to face the hologram. "But no dice. We fight the reapers on our own terms, and there is no way I'm trusting _you _with this technology. This base is going to be blown into oblivion, and my only regret is that you aren't on it."

Garrus hung up the comm. Grunt snorted in approval. Shepard pressed the button and the console sunk back in, the counter starting. The reapers hand came back up and slammed against the platform, sending them all sprawling.

"Son of a bitch, I thought we killed that thing!" Garrus shouted in her ear as they all ran to cover.

"Good. I like big fights." Grunt growled before roaring and unloading a thermal clip into the things eye.

"Take it out, we have to get out of here or we'll be at the center of the blast." She ordered.

Straight for the eyes. She unloaded all of her ammo, heavy and regular into the beasts eyes. Every time the reaper fell down, it popped back up again and Collectors swarmed them. She looked over to Garrus, a splash of blue ran down his cheek. She felt a moment of panic, this could very well be the last moment she saw him.

Grunt ran forward and blasted the thing in the eyes, that final shot killing it as it fell dramatically to the ground, grabbing at the platforms. It slammed into them hard, destroying the supports and sending all but one falling. She looked over and saw Garrus tumbling down a broken platform. She didn't hesitate. She dove forward, sliding on her stomach after him as he tumbled down. She had never been more afraid.

"NO!" She grabbed his wrist just in time, but he was too heavy, she felt her shoulder dislocate with the impact. Her fingers began to slip, she tried to dig in but failed. Her hand slipped, they were both going to fall.

A thick hand locked around her wrist, hoisting them both back up to grab on, she grinned up at Grunt and was about to thank him when a platform that had spun out of control slammed into the one they were on, everything went black.

She came to with a heavy metal beam on her back, She rolled out from under it and saw Garrus lying unconscious at the very edge of the outcropping they'd landed on. She went to check on him and felt the air rush out in a sigh of relief when he sat up and shook it off. He lifted the platform off of Grunt, who held his head as a moderate trickle of blood fell from a gash in his forehead.

"Come on, Shepard, don't leave me hanging . Do you copy?" Joker pleaded.

"I copy joker, did the ground team make it?" They started to back away as a seeker swarm spiraled towards them.

"All accounted for, just waiting on you." He sighed into the earpiece.

Harbingers voice took over the comm. as they ran from the swarms.

"Human…you have changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those _infinitely_ your greater. That which you know as Reapers are your salvation through destruction."

They tumbled through obstacles, dodged bullets, and dove through explosions on their way, Shepard staying in the rear. This was killing her shoulder. Garrus tripped and she was on him in a second, pushing him to his feet and forward.

The Normandy appeared at the end of the ramp like an avenging angel, that damn ship had never been so beautiful. Joker popped up in the airlock, opening fire on the collectors and taking the heat off of them. Garrus and Grunt made it aboard but a large platform crashed down and made the jump significantly wider.

She didn't stop to think, she slammed all of her energy to her legs, she could feel the implants heating up as she redirected the energy from her shields to them. In one long jump, she impacted with the floor and barely kept herself up long enough for Garrus to lean down and grab her by the belt, hauling her into the Normandy. The door closed behind them, protecting them from enemy fire.

"Couldn't help but get a few shots in, could you Joker?" She joked, following him to the cockpit. She cradled her arm as EDI started the countdown. They barely made it out of the base before the detonation began. The ship rocked with the shockwave it produced, but they made it to the relay and as quickly as it had begun, the suicide mission was over, and they were headed home.

She stared at the rivulets of blue tracing over the bow of the Normandy as she carried them all to safety. She'd done it. They'd done it. The collectors were destroyed and _everyone _had lived. She couldn't stop the grin, that is until Garrus touched her shoulder. She lurched away. He was about to speak but she held up her hand.

"I know I know, go see Chakwas." She grinned wider. _Because Chakwas made it._


	16. Chapter 16

**Final Chapter***

Her arm sat lazily in the sling. It felt fine but she promised the good doctor that she would wear it at least for the rest of the day. She removed it, just for this moment, she couldn't let him see her hurt.

"Shepard, your making a habit of costing me more than time and money." He said angrily.

"And you made a habit of endangering people I care about. I guess we are both a little sore." She crossed her arms. "In case you were hoping for an apology, I'm not sorry."

"The technology from that base could have secured human dominance in the galaxy." He fumed, "From the Reapers and beyond."

"Human dominance, or just Cerberus?" She snapped, "Why is it so hard for you to just coexist?"

"I should have known you'd crack under the hard decisions, you've been too idealistic from the start."

She laughed, "I'm not looking for your approval. Harbinger is coming and he won't be alone. Humanity needs someone looking out for their best interests, someone who will act _humane._" She shook her head and leaned back on her hip, "So I'll just keep doing things my way. Whether you like it or not."

"Don't you dare turn your back on me, Shepard!" He walked forward, "I made you, I brought your back from the dead!"

"Joker," She grinned widely at the Illusive man, "Lose this channel." She turned and walked away, glaring over her shoulder at him.

She took the surprisingly still working elevator to the cargo bay, where most of the crew had gathered to aid in repairs. She flagged them all over and, with her arm still in a sling she stood on one of the crates and smiled down at them.

"Words can't describe how fucking proud of you I am." She shook her head, "You are the best crew anyone could ever hope for, if it had been anyone else, I'm sure I would have died on that base. So, thank you, all of you, for saving my life in so many ways."

She looked around at their faces, her eyes became sad as she stared out the hole in the hull.

"This ship has been ordered to surrender to the Alliance. I have cut all ties to Cerberus and the Illusive Man, but sadly we can't fly rouge." They looked at each other confused. "I plan to drop most of you off at the Citadel, I don't want your loyalty to me to mark your record or get you arrested."

"What the hell Shepard?" Jack protested, she held up a hand to silence her.

"I will likely be detained by the alliance for questioning, if not court marshaled. Unfortunately that means I won't be able to communicate with most of you since you will be seen as having Cerberus ties as well. You will all be receiving a severance package, courtesy of the Illusive man." She grinned, "If any of you would like to be transported somewhere aside from the Citadel, please send the coordinates to Joker. We must do this quickly, Hackett is already sending ships after us."

She ignored their protests as she hopped down from her pedestal, she had to. She pushed past them to the elevator, trying hard to keep the tears from her eyes as she pushed the button to head to her room. She radioed Joker.

"Set course for Palaven first." She said softly and went to transfer all the funding from the Illusive man to separate accounts, and the entirety of her personal funds to one Mr. Vakarian to help fund treatments for his wife. It was the least she could do for Garrus.

He stood with the crew in shock. He wanted to go after her, but with the turmoil her speech had caused he needed to douse the flames a bit before then.

"Everyone just calm down, I'm sure there is an explanation for this." He held up his hands to everyone, "Don't you think we should at least trust her with this?"

"Not when it's this dumbass decision." Jack growled.

"Think about it, Jack, what would happen if alliance command got their hands on you?" He let that sink in. She was a wanted criminal before she was locked down at purgatory. The bounty on her head was nearly as high as Archangels, but she was wanted by the government. She withdrew. "Grunt, what would happen if the Alliance scientists found out that a pure Krogan could be bred in a tank?"

Grunt scratched his head. Thane moved to stand beside Garrus.

"Garrus is right. The least we can do is make this easier on her. We all have some form of bounty on our heads, something the Alliance wants from us. Her sacrifice will save all of us."

The crew shared a look, subdued. Thane nodded to him and Garrus thanked him, heading directly up to her cabin.

She was lying on her back, staring up at the stars. She looked over to see him and smiled sadly.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He went over and laid beside her on the bed, she curled against his side and continued to look up at the stars.

"Please don't try and talk me out of this." She said softly.

"Never crossed my mind." He kissed the top of her head, "But if the Alliance won't let me call you, they are going to have one angry Turian on their doorstep."

She laughed softly and kissed his chest. They laid like this in silence for a few moments.

"Shepard, what did you mean when you said you were being punished for being selfish?" He felt her tense.

"…If I hadn't gone to see Nathan, I could have stopped the Collectors from taking everyone." Her voice was meek. "I selfishly tried to hold on to that piece of my past, and my crew suffered for it."

"Don't be stupid, that's a damn lie and you know it." He shook his head, "If you had been here they would have taken you too. Which would have left me to rally the troops and I don't think they would have liked my speech." He ran his fingers though her hair.

He wanted to tell her. Three simple words with one of the most complicated meanings. But he couldn't just blurt it out, she meant more than that. He was about to tell her anyway when Joker piped up.

_"Ten minutes to Palaven, Commander. Want me to call Garrus?"_

"No, thanks. I got it." She replied softly. She sat up and looked away from him.

"What?" He stared at the back of her head, she was dropping him off first? Palaven was close to her home system, he figured he'd be the last, that he would be with her for at least a few more days.

"You need to go home, Garrus. I've kept you away too long." Her voice was thick.

"Like hell, Shepard. Go to the Citadel first." His tone was sharp. _I want to be with you as much as I can. _

"No, Garrus." She turned to him and let out a sharp sigh. "I didn't get to say goodbye to my mom, I'm not going to let you have that same regret."

He froze. Tears brimmed in her eyes and he didn't know what to say. He grabbed her up and pulled her back down on the bed, cradling her close.

"How did you know?"

"Liara told me." She sniffed, "Trust me Garrus, I don't want to lose you first, but this is for the best."

"You aren't losing me." He growled, "You will never lose me."

The cuffs were cold against her wrists. When the Normandy docked back on Earth, only a skeleton crew of humans remained. Everyone else was safe, either on their home world or on the Citadel. What little crew remained was arrested upon arrival and taken to interrogation. Anderson had made the trip down, she'd called him to let him know what she was doing.

Now that she'd taken what she'd wanted from Cerberus, she wanted to come back to the Alliance, she'd always wanted back in the Alliance. Surrendering a Cerberus vessel seemed like a good place to start; besides, the Normandy looked so much better flying Alliance colors.

Her hearing could have gone better. Thanks to Anderson's testimony, she wasn't court-marshaled, but she was to be confined until further notice. They thanked her for her return and, off the record, thanked her for saving their lives from the Collectors. She smiled at them and gave her best handcuffed salute before being led off to the small apartment on premises where she was to remain until they had time to fully evaluate her. They wanted to be sure that Cerberus had no control over her, and that she had no ulterior motives. They refused to tell her how long she would be imprisoned.

The door slid shut behind her and Anderson showed her around the room. She was fine with everything until he dropped a bomb on her.

"You will have no outside contact for the first six months, then after that it will only be approved transmissions."

"What?" She thought of Garrus, if anything happened with his mother she wanted to be there for him, and here Anderson was telling her she would have _no _contact with _anyone_ aside from top alliance brass and her door guard, James Vega.

"I'm sorry Shepard, but this comes from the top."

"Its bullshit!" She snapped, he looked at her oddly. She'd never cursed at him before. "I'm sorry, Anderson but you know it is."

"Take some time to come to terms, there is nothing I can do. Maybe we can contact some people for you? Let them know you will be out of contact?" She quickly jotted down a list of names and Anderson left to go deliver it.

No sooner had he left did the weight of everything sink in. She slammed her fist into the wall hard. "Damnit." She pressed her forehead against it and let out a sharp breath.

There was a knock at her door. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She'd been imprisoned for two months with no contact. She hated being alone, but the person she wanted to see was in a different star system. She toyed with the necklace she'd made out of his old visor. The knock came again, this time the person just entered.

James looked her over; she was curled up on her couch in her N7 hoodie, her knees tucked into her chest staring at the blank TV screen.

"C'mon, Commander, this is just pathetic." He plopped down on the couch beside her, setting a couple cases of beer on the table in front of them. One was her favorite cider. She turned her head to glare at him.

"I know I know, this sucks. But instead of wallowing, yes you're wallowing, why not make the best of it?"

"How exactly am I supposed to do that?"

He popped open her beer and passed it to her, "Honestly? I have no idea, but I think this is a good place to start."

A small smile crept to her lips. "You know what, James? That is an excellent idea."


End file.
